


Bare My Soul

by Tanagariel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, Drama & Romance, F/F, Social Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 64,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanagariel/pseuds/Tanagariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is Clarke’s birthday and to celebrate her friends are taking her to the top entertainment places in Washington DC . Things will heat up when Clarke and friends end up at a strip club where she’s going to get more than what she paid for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Theres something in the look you give,  
> I can’t help myself I fall,  
> I can’t help myself at all,  
> Theres something in your touch when we kiss  
> I scream god forgive me please,  
> ‘Cause I want you on your knees
> 
> Dark In My Imagination - of Verona  
> Do yourself a favor and listen to this while Lexa does the thing

Clarke Griffin finally reached the legal drinking age. She turned 21 today. Not that she would be drinking for the first time; actually, Clarke was pretty well versed in the world of booze.

Her friends Raven and Octavia promised to take her out during the weekend to celebrate and be wild, as Octavia had said.

“Clarke, the time has come to unleash that party animal.” Octavia said through Skype.

“Yeah, we should do a bar tour and then go to a club or something.” Raven suggested.

“Guys, don’t worry we can go and hang out with Monty and Jasper and have a good time.” Clarke propped on her elbow while she lay in her bed, her laptop in front of her and the two familiar faces on the screen. It was early morning and she had classes but first she had to Skype with her friends.

“The boys? Clarke, this is a girl’s night out my friend. And hell no, we’re going to go crazy.” Raven smiled mischievously.

Octavia grinned and added “Aaaand we’re going to get you laid.”

Raven burst in laughter.

“What the hell O? Let’s take it one step at a time, okay?” Clarke flushed. Her cheeks pink in embarrassment.

“Alright ladies, then it’s all set. This Saturday night we’re going out and DC better be ready for us.” Raven winked at her friends and disconnected.

“I’ll pick you up at 10 pm. Be ready.” Octavia waved goodbye and disconnected as well.

Clarke sighed. She shut down her laptop and rolled off the bed.

 

She went to the restroom and checked her reflection. Blue eyes stared back at her; disheveled blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, porcelain skin with pink cheeks and a dimple chin. Clarke looked tired after spending last night finishing an essay that she had to deliver today.

The blonde had to admit that her love life was stuck at the moment. After she broke up with Finn six months ago, she simply stopped being interested in a relationship. It was too troublesome, no one got her, it was hard to find someone who could really make a connection with her, a deep connection. Finn acted like a complete asshole, he was taking time off from another relationship, using Clarke as a distraction. Finn had said that he was done for good with the other girl, that he loved her. Clarke couldn’t believe the scumbag so things ended right away. Not that it had been easy.

 

Clarke found solace in her paintings. During her free time she drew and used whatever object caught her attention. Clarke loved drawing and the art couldn’t betray her. She could give herself to art and be happy, however she missed the contact of skin against skin, someone to hold her hand.  She was being ridiculous but that’s how she felt.

She took a quick shower and got ready to go to classes. When she got downstairs her mother was waiting for her.

“Happy birthday honey.” Abby stood up from the table and gave her daughter a hug.

“Hey mom thanks.” Clarke returned the embrace.

“I hope you like this.”

Abby gave her a small box wrapped in colorful paper. Clarke took the box and opened the gift.

“Oh mom, this is beautiful.” Clarke took out from the box a silver necklace with tiny stars. “Thanks.” She hugged her mom and put it around her neck right away.

“Glad you liked it. You’re going to eat? Shall I tell Jackson to serve you  breakfast?” Her mother sat back again at the wooden table to continue eating.

“Ah.” Clarke checked her watch. “No need, I’ll be late if I don’t go out now. Talk to you later.”

Clarke went to the garage and got inside her car. She turned on the engine and went to class.

 

Clarke was going to be late, the traffic had to be insane precisely today. Clarke drove as fast as she could, evading traffic and getting to college in the least amount of time possible. She parked and took out her backpack from the passenger’s seat and strapped it on. She activated the alarm and ran.

Professor Jaha was very strict and if she didn’t deliver this report on time that fucker was going to deduct 20% of her grade. She was going as swiftly as humanly possible, Clarke just had to pass the next corner and go up the set of stairs at the end of the hall to reach her classroom.

Right when she turned, however, she crashed into someone.

“Fuck!”

“Shit!”

Clarke fell on the concrete along another person. Papers scattered on the floor.

“Goddamit! Can you pay attention where you walk!?”

Clarke started to pick up her things and help the other girl. “I’m sorry, okay. I’m in a bit of a hurry and I didn’t expect to crash into you or anyone.” Clarke offered her hand to help the other girl who was pushing several papers inside her backpack, a brunette with the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen.

The brunette didn’t take her hand; she stood up on her own. “But of course you didn’t, you rich people think you own the place!” The brunette then looked at the blonde, her eyes flickered with recognition. And Clarke knew she had seen this girl as well.

“Wait, I’ve seen you before. Um, you’re in, um, anatomy?” Clarke gave other papers she picked up from the floor to the girl in front of her.

The brunette chuckled, “what would you know. You’re in your own little world.” The tone was bitter.

“Hey, I said I’m so—“

“Save it.” The brunette stormed away.

“Geez, if looks could kill.” Clarke turned around and kept running. It was clear that she was going to be very late to class.

 

 

Clarke was done for the day and met Raven and Octavia for lunch at the college cafeteria.

“Ugh, Jasper wouldn’t shut up in class, I swear to God I’d rather listen all day to Professor Wick than Jasper.” Raven took a fry from Clarke’s plate.

Clarke laughed, “Raven, we know you would be paying more attention to the prof.”

Octavia joined in the laughter. “Totally. And what on earth happened to you?” Octavia looked at Clarke’s dirty clothes.

“I crashed into someone, it was an accident. No big deal.” Clarke took a sip of her Coke. It was no big deal, but for some reason she felt bad. Who was that girl? Clarke knew she had seen her somewhere. Clarke thought deeper, trying to remember, when it hit her.

“Fuck!” Clarke facepalmed.

“What?” Raven asked.

“Remembered something.”

 _Psychology_ , she had shared classes with that girl during a whole semester and she didn’t even know what was her name.

“I see, and here I thought it was because you remembered getting it on.” Raven joked. Octavia high-fived Raven.

“Here we go again. You need to stop that. Not interested in anyone. Jesus, maybe its you two who needs the action.” Clarke bit her burger and ignored her friends.

“Boo, you party pooper. Why you’re in such a bad mood, princess?” Raven arched her brow and stole the French fries from Clarke.

“I’m not. I mean, I delivered my damn essay late. That’s all.  It’s no one’s fault. Sorry for barking at you.” Clarke sighed; she couldn’t stop thinking about the words of that other student. The brunette with the jade eyes whose name she didn’t know. “Are we that shallow? Do we really ignore the people around us?”

Octavia frowned and looked at Raven. “What? Um, did you hit your head or something Clarke? What kind of question is that?”

Clarke pushed her hair away from her face and slumped on her chair. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”

“Cheer up, tomorrow night you’ll have the party of your life.”

____________________

Clarke looked how the top fit her body; she looked at her rear to check that the jeans she was wearing fit great. She checked her make-up and gave finishing touches to her eyeliner and lipstick.

At 10 pm sharp she heard the horn of Octavia’s car. She took her purse and keys and headed outside.

 

The trio drove to a nightclub in downtown. The music was loud and the bass pumped through the speakers. The girls took a table near the bar and they ordered.

“Come on you two, drink like there’s no tomorrow, I’m your awesome designated driver so you better drink for me Clarke.” Octavia took a sip of her water.

Raven giggled. “Yes O, you hang in there. Next time it’s Clarke’s turn.”

Clarke smiled. “We’re going to have fun!”

 

The three girls hit the dance floor, moving their bodies following the beat, hips up and down, left and right, laughter and excitement filling their night. They danced and moved around each other, the rhythm contagious and their smiles so big. They danced and danced back and forth, from hip-hop to pop, with partners and with each other until they couldn’t anymore.

The trio sat back on their table and drank to refresh their heated bodies. Clarke wiped drops of perspiration from her forehead and took a sip of her beer.

“Uff, my legs are killing me.”

Raven got close to hear Clarke over the music “What?”

“I said that my legs are killing me!” Clarke repeated.

“Oh right, same and sorry you had to dance with that dude.”

Octavia laughed, “Poor Clarke, he stepped on your toes.”

“No shit.” Clarke quirked her eyebrow and took a swig of her beverage.

Octavia bought another water bottle and put it over her forehead to refresh herself. “It’s pretty hot in here. I don’t know if it’s the A/C but I am asphyxiating.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Raven gulped down the rest of her beer.

“Alright, we’ve been here for how long?” Raven tried to see her watch but it was dark and the club lights didn’t help.

“A couple of hours. We should go somewhere else to chill.” Octavia suggested.

Raven and Clarke agreed, they paid their tab and headed out of the club and back into the car.

 

Octavia drove around DC checking for other places to go with her friends and celebrate with Clarke.

“Maybe if we go to that other club two blocks down this road we can spend the rest of our trip there.” Octavia suggested while she waited for the red light to turn green.

Raven leaned on her seat. “Nah, I really don’t want to see Murphy and his crew of assholes. They are regulars there.”

“What if we go to play pool or something, there is a bar that Monty recommended.” Clarke propped her head in her hand while looking out through the tinted window of Octavia’s car.

 

The light turned green and Octavia put the car back in march. She turned around in the next intersection and far away she saw in neon the word ‘Mount Weather’.

“Oh my God. I got it.” Octavia pushed the gas and parked outside.

Raven scratched her head in confusion.

Clarke frowned and faced Octavia. “Um, what are we doing here?”

“You have to trust me, princess.” Octavia got out and gave her key to the valet parking.

“Woah, this is a strip club.” Raven looked the neon sign and then at her friend.

“I know.” Octavia winked, “this is as wild as it gets, come on!”

The three girls got inside and immediately the darkness of the place engulfed them. There was a bar and several tables that surrounded the stage. On top there were two girls dancing to the rhythm of r&b songs. Octavia walked to the host, and with a smile asked for the VIP lounge. Of course with several 20 dollar bills in her hand.

“Yes of course, follow me.” The host curved her lips in that fake smile that one gives to annoying customers, particularly three girls in their early 20’s.

They reached a smaller room with a leather sofa and the host left them there, the VIP lounge was a bit higher where they could watch the show without visual problems and enjoy the privacy the booth offered them.

Raven ordered cocktails and sat beside Clarke, “Alright then, let’s get this show on the road.” And Raven laughed at her own comment.

 

The stage got dark and suddenly a taller woman appeared, ‘Booty’ playing on the speakers.

“Daaamn.” Octavia arched her brows.

The woman on the stage was tall and very fit, her blonde hair was long and her cheekbones were carved by Greek gods.

“Let’s give it up for Anya!!!” The host said while the woman danced using the pole like a pro. She was wearing a black leather dress that made her legs look as long as they seemed.

“Okay I gotta go back to the gym.” Raven gulped down her martini.

The men around that table dropped cash as soon as the woman danced in front of them, lots of bills by the amount the woman had already garnered in her belt.

“I guess that’s the popular one in this club.” Raven was impressed.

 

The girls kept drinking dance after dance. Observing the men below them and laughing at the tight expressions of some of them.

“Dude, that poor geezer is gonna have a heart attack or something.” Raven pointed to a man in a dark suit, white hair who was watching the dancer with excitement.

“I uh, I need to go to the washroom. Be right back.”

“You want us to go with you?” Octavia asked.

“No, I’m good, maybe a bit tipsy, but I can go on my own.” Clarke excused herself and headed for the ladies room. Clarke heard some whistling as soon as the dancer’s bra was dropped. It was clear some of the clients were people with lots of money too.

Clarke moved around until she found the restroom. There she refreshed her face with the cold water of the faucet and reapplied her make-up. She tore a paper towel and dried her face with care. Clarke was going back to her booth when she saw near the bar a familiar face. Yes, it was painted with some weird black paint around the eyes, but Clarke guessed that was part of the club’s vibe. The brunette was wearing a long leather coat, and Clarke wouldn’t dare to imagine what was below. However, Clarke remained staring like an idiot in the middle of the club.

 

“You want some? You can always pay for some privacy.”

Clarke startled turned around and found another woman staring at her, eyes dark, and brown wavy hair, the nametag said Costia. “What? No no, I um, no thanks.” Clarke quickly went back to her lounge, cheeks red but thankfully the lights of the club hid her embarrassment very well.

Clarke sat again in the leather couch, but she couldn’t stop staring at the girl who was laughing with the muscular dude at the bar. There was something so familiar, that thick mane of brown hair, the braids, the height, the build.

“I guess Clarke saw something she liked.” Raven passed her hand in front of Clarke.

Clarke looked back at her, “what?”

“You have been staring for a while.” Octavia smiled mischievously.

Clarke chuckled, “nah, not at all.” She dismissed her friends’ comments and yet her eyes betrayed her.

 

In the corner of the bar Clarke saw Costia, if she remembered correctly, said something into the brunette’s ear. The brunette spun around and stared in Clarke’s direction.

“Holy shit.” Clarke whispered.

Big green eyes were staring back, making direct eye contact, the girl didn’t react at all. However, there was a flick of recognition in her eyes. Just like when she bumped her in college. It was really her, the girl she had been sharing classes for so long and had no idea who she was.

“Raven, let’s get Clarke what she really really wants.” Octavia stood up and pulled Raven with her.

“Wait! Where are you two going?” Clarke was in a sudden panic as soon as her friends left.

 

“Oh shit, this was a bad idea.” Clarke stood up to follow when the door opened again.

Clarke was open-mouthed.

“What is a rich girl like you doing in a place like this?” The girl walked inside the booth and closed the door.

Clarke sat automatically, her brain splitting in two, one part wanted to choke her friends and the other wanted to talk to this girl.

“I uh, came with my friends to celebrate my birthday.” Clarke gulped down. She was nervous but she wasn’t going to show it.

“I see, birthday girl.” Lexa removed her long coat, revealing a black set of lingerie, the bra had a pattern that left little to the imagination and her shorts hugged her ass nicely; her body was so much better than anything Clarke could have imagined. A tattoo covered her right arm and on her back she had another one, much bigger, both with tribal designs. Her steps were slow, taking her time, like a predator before attacking its prey.

“I’m Clarke.”

“I know who you are. I’m Lexa.” Her voice was cocky, confident and eyes never wavering over Clarke. “You’re friends paid for a private dance.”

Clarke arched her eyebrows. “They did?”

Lexa walked closer to Clarke, towering over the girl on the leather couch. “Think you can handle it, rich girl?”

A challenge.

Clarke smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

 

The music began to play, Clarke recognized it, ‘Dark in My Imagination’ and Lexa started to sway her hips following the beat. Lexa had a tiny ghost of a smile, her movements so slow and sultry, Clarke didn’t know she was holding her breath until she felt like dying.

Clarke breathed in and Lexa went down and pushed her legs apart, her green eyes never leaving Clarke’s blues. Dancing between the space she just made.

Lexa stood up so damn slow between Clarke’s legs, almost touching her with her hip. Lexa’s hands moved over her stomach and legs. Clarke gazed at her cleavage and quickly averted her eyes.

“It’s okay, you can look. Your friends paid for it.” Lexa gave her back to Clarke and went down again between her legs, and up slowly, her hips moving enticingly, rolling them with the music.

 

Then she turned around stepping one leg on the leather couch, beside Clarke. Moving her chest in front of the blonde, Lexa leaned closer to Clarke, her bodies making the briefest of contact.

“Want this off?” Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear.

Clarke thought about it one second. It was incredible that she was really considering that Lexa removed her bra.

She shook her head. “Keep it, please.” That sounded more like begging than anything else. Clarke was about to combust.

Lexa pulled apart and gave her the briefest of smiles. She kept moving around Clarke, letting the blonde enjoy the dance and her body. This was something that Lexa was used to, men coming to enjoy the view and she got money for it. But this girl being here changed everything. And so, Lexa took more risks with Clarke, brushing her skin ever so softly with her hips. Invading her personal space as much as possible. She knew who this girl was; they had been classmates for months and since she laid eyes on her, Lexa had been crushing on Clarke like a fool. But Clarke was out of her league, a rich girl like the blonde would never ever dare to look at someone who was a lowlife. Lexa was an idiot for wanting something she couldn’t have. But at least tonight, Clarke Griffin was hers.

 

Clarke’s hands itched to touch the hot skin of the brunette dancer; the perspiration over her abs was enticing. Lexa moved her hands over her hair, then below, moving them over her breasts and then hips.

Clarke was under a spell; her eyes were glued to the body of the stripper. She had never been so attracted to someone like she was in this moment.

Lexa turned around, eyes over Clarke’s. Lexa straddled Clarke; her hands using the leather couch as support to avoid crushing Clarke under her weight. She moved on top of Clarke’s lap. Her movements were sensuous. Lexa was crossing a line here, but teasing the blonde who drove her insane all semester didn’t seem like a bad deal after all.

Clarke gulped down the lump in her throat; she leaned back on the couch to see better the dancer on top of her. She felt her throat was dry, she was thirsty, oh so thirsty, and Lexa was like water in the middle of the desert. Clarke moved her hands on top of Lexa’s waist; the contact of her sweaty skin sent sparks through her body.

Lexa tutted disapprovingly, “hands off, rich girl.” Lexa removed Clarke’s hands from her body. Not that she minded, but it was strictly forbidden to touch, that’s why Gustus always stood near her, in case some perv tried to do anything else. Nonetheless, tonight Lexa told Gustus to stay away. She could manage this just fine. Or that was what she thought. Lexa’s heart was beating so hard that she was afraid that if the music stopped, Clarke was going to listen to it.

She got closer again, so close this time that Clarke could feel Lexa’s breath over her and it was enticing, like sandalwood and honey. Clarke stared back, her eyes split between eyes and lips.

And time stopped, it was only Clarke and Lexa, her heart did an erratic movement, like it was somersaulting inside her chest.

The music ended and Lexa leaned over Clarke, the blonde closed her eyes not sure why she did that, like a reflex or something, she had no idea what to expect until she felt the warmest of lips.

On her cheek.

“Happy Birthday, Clarke.”

Lexa pulled away, removing herself from Clarke’s lap, she gathered her coat and walked out of the VIP room.

 

Clarke was left gasping for air, she had no idea what the fuck just happened. She had been in a trance like for 5 minutes, but it felt longer. It was like she had been here forever and she was trapped in those green eyes that looked at her like she was the most valuable thing in the world.

“eehy Clarke how was idt??” Raven came giggling, it was clear she was very drunk by now.

Clarke was speechless, she had no idea how to put into words what she just lived.

“Where’s O?”

“Octavia is fstrliing with teh bartender, Lincoln.” Raven chuckled.

“I see, I guess we better leave. It’s late and I have to study tomorrow.” Clarke stood up from the leather couch and got out into the openness of the club.

 

There was another girl on stage, swirling on the pole with dexterity. Breasts fully exposed, men staring and drinking, leaving bills over the table.

Clarke searched around, looking for Lexa, but she was nowhere to be seen. Probably in the dressing room, Clarke assumed. She felt a tint of…

“Of what?” Clarke asked herself out loud.

She had no rights to feel bothered by Lexa’s choice of work, but she was. Knowing that Lexa exposed herself to these men made her stomach burn in anger. Clarke kept walking ignoring these feelings and made her way into the bar where she pulled Octavia’s arm.

“Time to go.”

“Hey! What the hell Clarke? I’m talking here, you see?”

Clarke smiled to the tall man with broad shoulders and dark skin, eyes brown and head shaved. “Sorry to interrupt sir, but it’s really late. ”

Clarke pulled again from Octavia’s arm. Octavia sighed in resignation.

“Okay okay, let’s go.” Octavia waved to the bartender, “it was really nice meeting you Lincoln.”

The man smiled back. “Likewise, Octavia.”

The trio left the club and went back to their respective homes.

 

It was 3 am and Clarke was still awake, she took a cold shower as soon as she got home.  She felt hot and bothered, and it was ridiculous, she had a fling or two with girls in the past, being attracted to girls wasn’t a first for Clarke. Boys or girls, who could give a damn, she just cared that there was a connection. But being in that club had caused such a mess in Clarke’s head.

“Lexa.” Clarke said the name, like if saying it out loud would clear out this she was feeling.

Clarke closed her eyes and found herself trapped in the warmth of that body, desperate to touch her and not being able to do so.

Clarke sighed, “shit!” This was going to be a long night. Clarke’s hand moved below the waistband of her panties and found the wetness. “Fuck.” Just thinking about Lexa made her pretty wet, who would have thought she was going to have such a visceral reaction to a lap dance. This was completely fucked up.

But the most difficult part was that Clarke shared a class with Lexa, she knew what Lexa did for a living and she had tasted it. However, the worst part was that she wanted more. And that was scary. She had no idea who was this girl whom she had been in classes with for a whole semester, she realized she existed yesterday and that was like getting punched in the gut. Who was Lexa? Clarke had been inside her bubble for so long that she missed her completely.

Until now.

Lexa could bare her body to those dirty old men, Lexa could flirt with them for all Clarke cared. The blonde knew what she wanted.

Clarke wanted her to bare her soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pour your sugar on me  
> Ooh I can't get enough  
> I'm hot, sticky sweet  
> From my head to my feet, yeah
> 
> Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
> 
> You know what to do with this :)

Hands slid down her torso, her abdomen contracted at the caress. Clarke sighed; she could feel the warmth of her body right on top of her but for some reason she was just teasing her.

“Please.” Clarke begged.

She opened her eyes and green ones were staring back at her, those lips she was desperate to taste curved in a smile.

“Sure you can handle this?”

Clarke nodded, her breaths were heavy, her need too big. The brunette started to close the gap between them when…

♪It’s dark in my imagination, it’s dark in my imagination♫

 

Clarke opened her eyes, “shit.” She sat on her bed, knees close to her chest, she rested her forehead over her kneecaps.

She was having another of those dreams, she was breathing in and out trying to regain control. Then she took her cellphone and turned off the alarm.

“This needs to stop.” Clarke scolded herself out loud. It’s been four days since she went to the strip club, but she had been dreaming non-stop about the brunette with the haunting green eyes, Lexa.

Clarke moved to the shower and let the cold water remove the inner fire she was feeling inside. She had to keep her shit together; today she had class with her. Why would she be nervous? She had been sharing the same class with Lexa during a whole semester. And it wasn’t until now that she realized that. That was really terrible.

 

Clarke arrived to class right on time, the auditorium was empty and she took her usual chair, following her routine. Students started wandering into the classroom. Clarke was hitting her notebook with her pencil.

_TAP TAP TAP TAP_

The wait was killing her, she raised her gaze to check if she was around, but there were no signs of Lexa.

“I’m an idiot.” Clarke took out her laptop to chat with her friends while she waited for the class to begin. She plugged in her earbuds and accidentally pushed her pencil case from her desk, she leaned down to pick it up when she caught sight of her.

There she was, Lexa. The girl she completely ignored for a whole semester. How was it possible that Clarke had never noticed her before?

It was simple as Clarke observed. Lexa came and took her seat right away, she didn’t speak with anyone, she just waited like the rest, she took out her books and opened the latest lesson.

 

Lexa kept a low profile during class, taking notes while Clarke stole glances at her. She wanted so badly to speak with her. Clarke had no idea why she was suddenly so interested in her, maybe it had to do with the burning desire she had inside, or probably by the mark those lips left on her cheek that Saturday night.

The professor dismissed the class; Clarke shoved all her things inside her backpack right away and tried to catch up with Lexa. Clarke walked as fast as she could. Lexa was walking a couple of feet in front of her. The long legs covered in black jeans moved with confidence, her boots stomping the floor with dominance.

“Lexa, wait!” Clarke called.

Lexa stopped and turned around, facing Clarke.

“Wait, please.” Clarke caught up with the taller girl.

“What do you want, Clarke?”

“I uh, I ah, can we talk?”

Lexa eyed Clarke with suspicion. “Talk? And why would you do that? I didn’t exist until you saw me half naked.”

“No, no! I mean, it’s not about that. I want to apologize for before.” Clarke tried to make sense here and not look like a stalker or worse. “You’re right. I’ve been inside my personal bubble. I shouldn’t act like I own the place.”

Lexa still gazed intently at Clarke, listening with attention.

“I’m sorry, I—“

“Hey Clarke!” Raven waved to her friend.

Lexa sighed, turned on her heel and disappeared before anyone else noticed her.

“Raven! Hey I’m kind of bu-sy.” Clarke noticed that the brunette was already gone. “Nevermind.”

 

Clarke listened to Raven and Octavia, or at least, she tried to. Her thoughts were somewhere else. With Lexa. The stripper.

Clarke scolded herself mentally, Lexa was a person not a piece of meat.

“I think I’ll probably go this weekend. Lincoln might be there.” Octavia commented.

“Are you serious? Again? That is a bit too much you know?” Raven bit into her sandwich.

“Why? I know it’s not like the usual place to hang out, but who gives a shit? I mean, I’m going for Lincoln.” Octavia defended. “What do you say, Clarke?”

“I don’t know, O. I agree with Raven.” Clarke replied, but she knew she was lying; she wanted to see her again.

“Oh my god, you two suck! I’ll go on my own then.”

“Octavia, I didn’t say I wouldn’t go. I just think that you’re taking a huge risk for a guy you don’t know.”

Clarke was in turmoil. Going to the strip club meant seeing Lexa, which she wanted to do, that also meant that Lexa was going to be working, and Clarke wasn’t sure if she was ready to see her like that. Exposed like a prize just to get money. Lexa was different from other girls. She had a charm and a mystery to her that made her feel butterflies.

“Well, I’m going this Saturday night, if you wanna join you’re welcome.” Octavia pursed her lips and finished her lunch.

__________________

Another day where Clarke couldn’t sleep properly or concentrate as she should. She could barely study the previous day because she was daydreaming of Lexa. She finished her anatomy exam and hoped that she got at least a passing grade. All the parts of the body were clear in her mind, but in the form of Lexa. Femur covered with tanned skin, a humerus covered with ink. Clarke was obsessed and this was getting out of hand. She was in need of a good cup of coffee, before going back home she was going to stop at a coffee shop.

 

On her way to the parking lot she saw out of the corner of her eye the braided chestnut hair that she dreamt of having spread all over her, the sun kissed skin that she was desperate to touch. Lexa seemed upset from what Clarke could tell from afar. Lexa was talking with Professor Miller. She stopped in her tracks and headed in Lexa’s direction.

“Sir, I need another chance.”

“Miss Woods, I was surprised by your latest result but it is what it is.” Professor Miller explained. “The joint project might benefit your final grade, Miss Woods. I’m sure you’ll find a suitable partner.”

Lexa sighed, “I don’t think I can do—“

“But of course we will, Professor Miller. Lexa’s with me.” Clarke interrupted and smiled. “We will do an impressive work, sir.”

Lexa was speechless, eyes on top of Clarke burning holes into her skull.

“Oh that’s great, Griffin. I know you’ll do a good job. Now if you’ll excuse me.” The man smiled to both girls and walked away.

 

Lexa faced Clarke and she was pissed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

“I’m trying to help, Lexa.” Clarke defended.

“This is not a game, Clarke. I might lose my half-tuition scholarship! There’s only so much stripping can do!”

“Hey, I’m serious. I want to help. If we work together I promise you will ace the project.”

Lexa sighed, her expression was stoic as usual but Clarke could see the tension in her shoulders. “Fine. I guess I have no other choice.”

“You do have another choice, Lexa. You can pair up with anyone else if you want. I’m still in need of a partner though.” Clarke smiled, hoping that Lexa could see she had good intentions.

Lexa remained pensive for a minute. “Alright. We’re going to work together.”

“So, you wanna come to my place tomorrow after classes to begin?”

“I have work tomorrow.”

“Oh!” Clarke felt color creep into her cheeks. She avoided Lexa’s eyes for a second. And it was clear that Lexa noticed the change because her expression turned sour.

“You don’t have to like what I do, Clarke. I just expect you to respect me.”

“No! I mean, yes!” Clarke face-palmed. “Shit. Let me start over. It’s your work so, it’s cool, you go and do your, um, thing.”

“You don’t have to be condescending either, Clarke.”

Clarke was failing miserably at trying to avoid being judgmental. What a way to make an impression.

Lexa scoffed and walked away.

 

“Lexa, wait. I didn’t mean to be rude.” Clarke went after her, she caught her arm and pulled softly. “Lexa, please. Let me make it up to you. Can I start over?”

“I’m used to being judged Clarke. People measure me by how much clothing I remove every night. Trust me, your words don’t bother me.” But they did. Lexa cared for Clarke, how could she not. Lexa had been crushing on Clarke since she saw her that early morning in Psychology 290. She knew Clarke was the wealthy daughter of a renowned surgeon and was doing pre-med. Clarke had chose psychology as her humanity course and that’s where she first saw her. She hung out with the richest kids in DC. Lexa knew she never stood a chance, so she was just content to see her in class. But now lady luck was kind to her for the first time ever in her life. Clarke acknowledged her. And Lexa wished for once that Clarke could look at her, and _see her_.

“I’m sorry I was an ass. This is my number.” Clarke scribbled in a piece of paper. “Call me or text me if you wanna work with me. It’s your decision, no pressure or anything. So um, I guess I’ll see you around.”

Lexa took the paper and put it in her pocket. Lexa nodded and left Clarke.

 

 

Two days later, Clarke was in the middle of her embryology class when she got a text. Her phone vibrated and she took a peek at the screen.

Lexa: Hey Clarke, I can work on the project today.

Clarke smiled; she was so happy that Lexa had accepted her. It was something ridiculous because it was just a joint project, nonetheless Clarke felt that she just won the lottery. Clarke pulled the phone out and typed.

Sky Princess: Hey, I’m glad. Meet me at the library at 5? :)

Lexa: k

Lexa: Sky princess??

Sky princess: Yeah, long story. Ttyl.

 

Clarke couldn’t focus on the rest of the class, she was just thinking about working with Lexa.

As soon as the clock hit 5, Clarke walked to the library on campus and scanned the tables looking for her. Right in the far corner of the library, there she was, and Clarke had to hold her breath for a second there. Lexa had her curly hair in a ponytail. She was wearing glasses and she looked so damn cute with them. Clarke approached the table.

“Hey.” Clarke greeted, she dropped her bag and took a chair.

“Hey Clarke, I already selected some books that might be useful for our research.”

“Great. I was thinking on some ideas to develop this work.”

Clarke and Lexa shared their ideas about the project, they discussed and talked about the best approach to present the topic.

Clarke had to admit she was impressed. Lexa was disciplined and creative, smart and pretty. Deadly combination. They spent hours working on their project, but time with Lexa seemed to pass differently. For Clarke, being with Lexa was like a breath of fresh air.

 

“Damn, we did a good job. I never thought we could move so fast with it.” Clarke leaned on her chair exhausted.

Lexa curved her lips and Clarke’s heart skipped a beat. “You’re hardworking, rich girl. I might have made assumptions about you too. Apologies.”

Clarke smiled, “you did? Okay that’s fair. What else did you think about me? Be honest.”

Lexa pushed the glasses on top of her nose, she looked tired as well, but still beautiful in Clarke’s eyes. “I thought you were a snob. But you are really friendly.”

“Okay, what else?” Clarke leaned in with interest. She propped her elbows over the table and leaned into her palms.

“That you wouldn’t hang with someone like me.” Lexa said with a bit of sadness.

“Hey, I’m the one who was missing how great you are.”

“I see that.” Lexa gave another tight lip smile and Clarke swore to heavens that she would do anything to make her smile more.

“It’s late. We should go.” Lexa stood up from the table and put her things inside her bag.

The two girls walked outside the library, Lexa walked Clarke back to her car.

“Hey, I can drop you home.” Clarke offered.

“No thanks. I’ll ride a bus.” Lexa wouldn’t take Clarke to her small apartment; a girl like her was used to luxury.

“You sure?” Clarke insisted. Lexa nodded and went away.

__________________

Saturday night, and just as agreed Octavia came to ‘Mount Weather’ with Clarke. The two sat in the bar and Octavia engaged immediately in conversation with the bartender, Lincoln.

Clarke drank to her heart’s content, just checking the stage in case Lexa appeared. Clarke knew she shouldn’t be here, she really didn’t want to make things with Lexa awkward but she also told Octavia she would come. So now here she was, drinking and hoping to see Lexa again. Or not. Clarke didn’t know what she really wanted.

“Oh that’s really nice.” Octavia drank her beer with amusement.

Lincoln smiled. “Yes, I used to go camping with Lexa and Anya. You see, we are really like family. We grew up together.”

Clarke caught the name and joined the conversation. “You’re close to Lexa?”

Lincoln looked at Clarke and nodded. “Yes, we both grew in the same neighborhood.”

 

Music started, the lights dimmed and their focus was on the stage. Clarke took a sip of her Coke – yeah, she was designated driver today.

“Give it up for the Commander!” The host announced and right on cue.

“Lexa?”

The stripper appeared on stage to the rhythm of ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard.

“Oh. My. God.” Clarke‘s jaw hit the floor.

Lexa removed her large coat, her face was fierce, looking like a warrior, the paint covered her features but her eyes were on fire. She wore black shorts and a t-shirt.

Her movements were sexy as hell, she rolled her hips and got down on the stage, she was crawling on the floor moving like a preying wolf about to jump.

Clarke turned around and gulped down the Coke, trying to keep her temperature at normal rates.

“I might need another one please, with plenty of ice.” Clarke asked Lincoln.

Lexa was on the pole, she hung from it with such ease, the muscles of her biceps tensing but she made it look like child’s play. She spinned on the pole with grace, like a ballerina, her legs contracted holding her weight, showing the hard earned muscle. She spinned all the way down the pole, and then lifted her body with her arms up the pole again spinning with such grace and hotness that Clarke wished she was that pole at the moment.

The bills didn’t stop falling on the stage. Clarke was amused, but she also was kind of mad. The way one of the men near the table was looking at Lexa, with such perversion, made Clarke angry.

Lexa removed the shirt and shorts with ease and she was only left with a lace bra with sparkles and a small bikini. Clarke turned around, she really wanted to avoid looking, it felt so wrong to look, and yet, there was a part of her that desired to watch just like those old pervs.

 

Clarke finished her cold Coke, it froze her brain for a minute there, and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to keep the brain freeze at bay.

“Hey there, take it easy.”

Clarke opened her eyes, she found herself staring at the dancer with the high cheekbones.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, why are you here?”

Clarke stared back at the stage, Lexa’s breasts were exposed, her hands moving over them while more money fell on the stage, her eyes detached and cold, even when she touched her body like she was on fire. Clarke turned herself around.

“I’m just… she’s my friend.” Clarke stated.

“She’s doing her job.”

“I know.”

“A princess like you should stay away from her. Lexa belongs to another world.”

Clarke remained silent. Looking at the men drooling over her friend. Because Lexa had become a friend, an important one.

“Anya, leave the girl alone.” Lincoln gave the dancer a beer.

“I’m just giving good advice. You should listen too, dumbass.” Anya smiled at the bartender, took her beer and walked behind stage.

 

Clarke saw one of the drunkards reach for Lexa, Lexa saw it coming miles away, however, Lexa didn’t do anything. From behind, a bearded man that was huge, like a bear pulled the man and kicked him out of the place like as if he were a rag doll.

Clarke moved her eyes back to Lexa, to make sure she was okay. And Lexa was staring back, right into her. And Clarke melted in a puddle of desire. Lexa could have the coldest eyes sometimes, be detached while doing her job, and yet, cause the weirdest reaction in Clarke.

Lexa returned backstage after picking up her money and disappeared.

 

 

Clarke couldn’t sleep as usual, instead she texted Lexa to see if she was awake at 2 am. She wanted to be sure she was okay with her being there in the club.

Sky princess: Hey, I hope that asshole didn’t hurt you or anything.

Clarke put her phone back on the night table and sank in her pillow not waiting for a reply, but two minutes later her phone bleeped.

Lexa: I can take care of myself Clarke.

Clarke knew Lexa was mad, her text was pretty defensive by the looks of it. But she got another text.

Lexa: Sorry. Thanks for asking.

Sky princess: Sorry for being there. O wanted to speak with Lincoln and I went with her. Not spying on you btw.

Lexa: It’s ok. I don’t mind, Clarke.

Sky princess: Ok, it’s late so I’ll let you sleep. Good night J

Lexa: Good night, Clarke ;)

Clarke closed her eyes and finally tiredness claimed her.

______________

Clarke was again at the library with Lexa, the students had been working together for the past week on their psychology project. Clarke had been so determined to do outstanding work, not for herself but for Lexa. Anya’s words resonated in her head, Clarke looked at Lexa and she saw simply a girl like her, a girl with dreams and desires just like her. But also she saw that they belonged to two different worlds. Clarke’s education was guaranteed, she had been privileged since birth.  Lexa on the other hand was struggling to pay her tuition, her half-scholarship was at risk and by working as an exotic dancer she could barely pay the rest. Lexa was in debt while Clarke was free of it. Again, because of privilege.

 

Lexa was tired, she was falling asleep right on the table, she worked late last night and then studied for an exam. Clarke’s heart melted and hurt for Lexa, she had never worked in her life, she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and in that moment she wanted to shelter that brave girl from the cruelty of an unfair world.

“Hey, I think we covered enough for today.”  Clarke closed the book and the sound startled a very sleepy Lexa.

“Are you sure, we still have to write the analysis, Clarke.” Lexa pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“We can finish tomorrow.” Clarke smiled reassuringly.

“Okay.” Lexa packed her stuff and the two girls walked out of the library.

 

“Um, would you like a coffee or something?” Clarke was walking side by side with Lexa, and it felt so good to be like this with someone.

“No thanks.” Lexa declined.

“Hey, I’m starving, come on! The coffee is on me.” Clarke pulled Lexa, dragging her along. She knew Lexa couldn’t spare the extra cash, but Clarke wanted to make her spend some time relaxing with her. To forget about money and work and just enjoy life.

Clarke took Lexa to the coffee shop closest to campus. There, Clarke ordered a large Iced Caramel Macchiato and a sandwich. Lexa was looking at the menu and Clarke swore that was the cutest look she had ever seen. The little frown Lexa made was endearing and her confusion evident.

“I really don’t know which one.” Lexa mumbled.

“May I recommend this for you? I think you’re going to like it.”

“I trust you, Clarke. Go ahead.”

Clarke grinned and ordered a S’mores Frapuccino and food for Lexa.

 

The two ate and talked about trivial things, it was so easy to talk with Lexa, Clarke had to wonder why she never noticed her before. She was pretty and so smart but mostly...

“One hell of a dancer.” Clarke said out loud without even realizing it. Immediately her cheeks turned pink.

“What?” Lexa looked at Clarke, eyes boring into her soul.

“Ah, I mean, you are. You got some nice moves and it clearly shows you love dancing.”

“I wanted to become a dancer when I was little.” Lexa took a sip of her beverage and looked into nothingness, nostalgia in her voice. “But you know, that was very expensive and Anya couldn’t afford it.”

“Anya? She is another dancer, right?”

“She raised me, when my parents died she took care of me. She busted her ass so I could graduate from high school. You see, I was angry all the time. I blamed the world for my misfortune.”

Clarke wept for her, she couldn’t imagine little Lexa being so full of hate and anger. But now she could see the reason why Lexa kept her distance from people, the motive of her cold expression. She had gone through so much already.

Clarke without thinking rested her hand over Lexa’s. Her warmth seeping through her skin, bathing in her softness. “I can’t imagine how hard it was, still is, but I don’t want you to give up on your dreams.” Clarke laced her fingers with Lexa, “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, you’re not alone anymore. You have Anya and me.”

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes, trying to find lies in her words, but Clarke was genuine. And Clarke meant it.

“Clarke!”

 

Clarke faced the direction of the voice calling her. When she spotted her two best friends.

“There you are, princess. We have been wondering. Where were you?” Octavia came to the table and stopped when she saw Lexa.

“Hey you two, um Lexa, this is Octavia and Raven.” Clarke made the introductions.

“Hi.” Lexa said awkwardly.

“Hey.” Raven offered her hand and Lexa didn’t shook it.

Octavia remained silent, then her eyes opened widely in recognition. “Clarke sorry to interrupt your date or whatever, can we talk for a sec?” Octavia quickly pulled Clarke away from Lexa.

“That’s why you were ignoring us, huh?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows, cheeky smile in place. “She is on a hot date.”

“She’s the stripper, Clarke!” Octavia blurted.

“What?” Raven crossed her arms looking at Clarke.

“O, keep it low, okay? And yeah, she works at the strip club, so what?”

“So what? Clarke we paid that girl to give you a dance, people pay money to her for, you know—“

“SHUT UP!” Clarke closed her fists, “don’t you dare to say it, O. Lexa is a dancer, yes, but whatever you’re insinuating is not true, so cut that shit now!”

“We’re your friends, we are just making sure you’re not making a mistake here.” Octavia insisted.

“O, I appreciate it, but Lexa is also my friend, we’re classmates and she deserves respect, so I don’t wanna hear one more word. Got it? And what is the difference between her and Lincoln, huh? That he sells beers and she undresses? That’s BS and you know it.”

“Hey it’s cool, Clarke. No need to get all worked up. Octavia was worried. That’s all.” Raven intervened. “If you say she’s your ‘friend’ it’s okay.”

“She is, Raven! I care about her.” Clarke pointed out, she was very passionate about defending Lexa. She was serious that she wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.

Raven chuckled. “Whatever you say, Clarke.”

“What is that suppose to mean.” Clarke furrowed her brows, lips pursed.

“Clarke, please, have you seeing your face? You like her.” Octavia said, and added. “She’s Lincoln’s friend. I don’t trust her but I trust him, so good luck with that.”

“And we’re going to leave you two alone. Enjoy your date.” Raven winked and waved goodbye to Lexa.

“We’re not on a... date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for leaving comments. I am enjoying your thirst so much buddies. Hope you like the rest of this fic, which is so fun and hot to write ;)  
> As usual my askbox is open for your questions or headcanons.  
> Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any nose bleed or arousal levels this fic might cause.
> 
> Take care,
> 
> Tana
> 
> commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This twisted cat and mouse game always starts the same  
> First we're both down to play then somehow you go astray  
> We went from nothing to something, liking to loving  
> It was us against the world and now we just fucking  
> It's like I loved you so much and now I just hate you  
> Feeling stupid for all the time that I gave you  
> I wanted all or nothing for us ain't no place in between"
> 
> Black Widow - Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora
> 
> Foreshadowing anyone???

The sun was high in the horizon, the chirping of birds announced it was time to get up, but Lexa was so damn tired. She had been studying so much; her head was about to explode. She rolled on her bed and covered her face with her pillow, she really wanted to stay a bit longer.

“Wake up! Breakfast is ready” Anya announced. As always Anya made sure that Lexa had food in her stomach before leaving for college. Anya always procured the best for Lexa. The most comfortable bed, the biggest breakfast, the education she couldn’t have. Anya had given so much for her and Lexa loved Anya so much.

 

“Okay, okay. I’m up, no need to make so much noise.” Lexa was wearing a boxer and t-shirt. She pulled a chair and took her seat at the small kitchen table.

Anya served the plates and then took her seat.

“This looks delicious.” Lexa took a bite of her egg.

“Eat everything. And for fuck’s sake could you leave that phone alone?”

Lexa sighed, “fine.” She did as told.

“Gosh, you need to stop. That girl is nothing but trouble, Lexa.” Anya advised. Lexa knew she was worried, Anya always worried for her.

“Clarke is nice. She’s not like you think she is Anya.”

“You don’t know that! How long have you two known each other? Three, four weeks? You know nothing about that girl.”

Lexa chewed her food, ignoring Anya.

Anya sighed. “Please, don’t fall for that girl. Lexa, Clarke will soon get bored, you are something new and exotic for her. She’ll leave you when she’s done.”

“ENOUGH!” Lexa stood up from the table. “Shut up, Anya.” Lexa was angry, she loved Anya but she wasn’t going to let her trash Clarke.

“Fuck my life. You’re already in love with her. Lexa, please forget about it. Why don’t go you out with Costia instead? She cares about you.”

“Don’t you mean she’s like _me_. I get it, Anya. She’s the princess from the sky and I am deep in the ground. She could never look at me differently; I’m just a friend to her. Trust me, I am pushing these feelings away. But it’s hard.”

Anya stood and went to Lexa, she surrounded her with her arms and Lexa leaned on her. “I know, but you have to let her go. She’s not for you.”

 

Lexa spent the rest of the day in classes, thinking about Clarke. She had been crushing on her for so long, that it was a miracle that Clarke now spent time with her, that they texted at night, that they talked about dumb things. How could she push Clarke away when her heart was telling her to go after her? All Lexa wanted since she laid eyes on her was to love her.

The class was over and she packed her things, she checked her watch, she had some time to relax a bit before she had to go to work. The girls at the club needed to prepare new choreography. Echo, Caris and her were the youngest in the club and the boss - Mr. Wallace - wanted them to do new stuff to attract more wealthy clients. A full show a la Moulin Rouge.

Lexa moved to the back of campus, where no one could bother her.

She put on her headphones and pressed play on her music player. She started to let her body take control of the movements, feeling the music in her bones. She started to roll her hips, she did a little jump and swayed her hips with the rhythm of the music. She twisted her body and opened her eyes to find Clarke staring at her.

Lexa flushed in complete embarrassment.

“Hey, sorry to startle you. I just saw you walking down here and I came...”

“You _came_?”

Clarke chuckled. “You sassy Commander.” Clarke put her thumbs inside her front pockets, moving around Lexa.

Lexa was red now. Clarke was smiling like an idiot. “You like to get called Commander. Oh my.”

“Stop teasing me, Clarke.” Lexa said with her most serious face.

Clarke was grinning. “Don’t stop dancing. I love when you dance.” She sat in the corner, and waited till Lexa finished.

 

Lexa came up with a great routine, she knew that it might be a bit pretentious for what Mr. Wallace wanted. But she didn’t give a damn.

“That is amazing. I mean, whoa.” Clarke was impressed, Lexa not only had great moves but she came up with badass choreography.

“It’s not that great. Not when people expect you to remove your clothes mid dance,” Lexa stated.

“Well, that’s their loss. That twist you do is amazing and Jesus, the thing with the hips, that is hot. You’re going to have to teach me that.” Clarke took her bag and stood up. She removed the dirt from her jeans and joined Lexa. The soft breeze blew her blond curls; the sun highlighted the blue of her eyes. Lexa couldn’t be more mesmerized if she tried.

“You want to learn?” Lexa picked up a bottle of water she had on the table and took a sip. Then she dried her face with a small towel she had in her bag.

“Yeah. I really could use some moves. Might come in handy.”

That caught Lexa by surprise. “Really? How lucky for them.” Lexa knew she was being stupid; Clarke was free to do whatever she wanted with whomever she picked. If Clarke wished to seduce someone with her moves, so be it. Still, her imagination was playing naughty; Lexa was thinking the worst-case scenario. All of them involving Clarke with a stranger and not her.

“Well, of course. I would love to. We can meet tomorrow after class, at the gym.” Lexa nodded.

“Great, um, so what do you say if you teach me and then I take you to dinner. As a thank you, of course.”

Lexa slung her backpack on her shoulder, she thought about accepting her offer. Anya had been clear, it was better to let go, if Lexa accepted this she knew that she was going to start a fast descent into madness, Clarke had such a strong gravitational force and Lexa was going to enter her atmosphere, crash and burn. Her head was shouting to say no.

_Hoe, don’t do it._

But her heart was screaming yes.

_Lexa, yes!_

“So what do you say?” Clarke was face to face with Lexa. Lexa’s eyes stared into the beauty of the baby blue eyes. Lexa moistened her lips; she cleared her throat, which suddenly felt dry. Her eyes moved to her lips and back into the depth of her eyes. Lexa didn’t realize she was so close to Clarke. The dancer held Clarke’s stare nonetheless, daring the blonde to look away. But Clarke was definitely not the kind of person who backed off.

“Yes, it’s a deal.”

_________________

The sun went down and the moon made its appearance. A night full of stars that danced between the moon and the girl. A girl who was madly in love, danced like water streaming down on a river, steady, sure, flowing from one movement to the next. With the force of a hurricane she made jumps and her arms rolled around, her hips exploded with the force of an erupting volcano. She loved to dance, since she was a child she was in love with the music and the sensations it stirred in her. But then she met Clarke Griffin, and dancing became her mistress. For her love was now this girl.

She was in love, and she danced with her heart. And she loved Clarke like the moon loved the sun, from afar. The light of Clarke shone brightly and her darkness remained in the shadows of the night - waiting for the first rays of sunlight to hide again.

 

Lexa moved showing Clarke step by step the choreography, the two have been practicing for a long time. But what was time when you were with the person who held your heart? Lexa didn’t mind spending a whole day with Clarke if that meant having Clarke for herself. Lexa was selfish. And she didn’t care.

Clarke tried to copy the dancer, she moved as closely as the brunette did. Clarke laughed at her terrible mistake. She jumped and tried to turn falling on her ass miserably.

“I am terrible at this. I definitely will leave the dancing to you.” Clarke lifted her ass from the mat; she stretched a bit and got back in position.

“It takes practice. You’re just starting today. Be patient.”

“Yes teacher, got it. I don’t think I can though.”

Lexa stopped the player and put the track again. “Let’s do it together, okay?” She walked beside Clarke and took her position. As soon as the girl pressed play Lexa gave Clarke the cue to begin. “5, 6, 7, 8. Go!”

 

The music began, and Lexa started to move to the rhythm of Black Widow, her legs up and down, back and forth, she turned and waited for Clarke to do it. Clarke joined Lexa, the two of them flowing with the beat. Clarke was a bit behind, to follow her teacher’s lead.

Lexa moved her shoulders twisting her torso until her hips rocked forth, then she did a body pop with her legs and immediately locked and dropped her hips on the floor, feet wide. Clarke got a bit distracted. Well, Clarke was extremely distracted by Lexa’s ass going down on the floor.

“Come on, Griffin, keep it up!” Lexa instructed, snapping Clarke out of her haze.

Lexa turned to face Clarke and grabbed her, they synced their hips and grinded each other.

“Now step back and remember to turn around when I count three.”

♪ I'm gonna love you

Until you hate me

And I'm gonna show you

What's really crazy ♫

“One.”

 

♪ You should've known better

Then to mess with me, heartache ♫

“Two.”

 

♪ I'm gonna lie to you, I'm gonna lie to you

Gonna lie to you, gonna lie to you

Like a black widow, baby ♫

“Three!”

 

Clarke was distracted again, listening to Lexa sing while she danced; her concentration face was so damn attractive. Clarke was so into Lexa that she missed the cue. Lexa did the twist  to the left and Clarke did it wrongly to the right at the last moment.  Of course, the two bumped into each other. Crashing chest to chest. Lexa, since she was a bit taller and had more momentum than Clarke, ended up falling on top of the blonde.

“OUCH!”

Clarke was laughing like a mischievous kid. “Ow, my gosh.” Clarke burst in laughter, “so sorry, I’m a complete klutz.”

Lexa pushed her torso up, her hands were on each side of Clarke’s head. Her brunette curls cascaded over the blonde sprawled on the mat. “You were doing just fine, you...” Lexa now realized where she was, and on top of whom. Clarke’s laughter died as well. Both were conscious of this really awkward situation. “Ah, I um...”

_Lexa no, Lexa no. Don’t fucking do it._

Lexa cupped Clarke’s cheek, while holding her weight with her other arm, her thumb traced the soft skin. Eyes scanned for any sign of discomfort.

_No no no no no, Lexa jesus fucking christ don’t do the thing._

Clarke pushed a strand of her away from Lexa’s face, tugging it behind her ear.

_Oh shit oh shit don’t do it. NOOOOOO!_

_Yes yes yes you go girl, go and do the thing!_

Lexa leaned in, closing the gap between them, the air was thick, their breaths ragged by the dance, hearts beating hard, bodies hot and sweaty. Lexa closed her eyes and crossed the finish line.

_HEAD 0 – HEART 1_

 

She kissed Clarke shyly, softly, making sure that the blonde had time to push her away if she was disgusted that she was a woman. Lexa had no clue what Clarke’s preferences were but she just couldn’t help it. She had to do this. She kissed the softest lips ever, even if she was going to be rejected she didn’t care anymore, she had tasted heaven.

However, the rejection never came, actually, Clarke got into the kiss. She kissed her hesitantly at first, her lips closing over hers, an exploration of senses, a small dance with their mouths, slow and steady, Lexa felt herself relax. Clarke moaned into the kiss and that sent Lexa into overdrive. She was going to devour her, but it was better to keep it slow, for now.

Lexa pulled apart, she was afraid to get lost in those lips. She opened her eyes and Clarke was staring back at her. Neither said a word. They gazed into each other’s eyes, pupil’s dilated, breaths heavy.

“Um, you’re crushing me.”

“Crap, I’m sorry.” Lexa removed herself from Clarke’s body. She stood up and helped Clarke get up as well, and then took a step back. Still waiting for Clarke’s to realize what happened.

Clarke’s cheeks were pink, her hair disheveled after the fall, she moved closer to Lexa.

Lexa thought she was going to get punched for her boldness. “Clarke look, I uh, well, I know I shouldn’t have ki—“

Clarke cupped her face and kissed her deeply. This time Lexa let go of her insecurities and pulled Clarke closer, her hands resting on her lower back. A tongue slid inside her mouth, and she kissed her hard. Lexa pulled back and changed the angle of the kiss. She bit Clarke’s lower lip. Clarke moaned and kissed Lexa with intensity. After what felt like an eternity, both split from the kiss. Lexa leaned in and rested her forehead on Clarke’s.

“That was the best dance lesson I’ve ever taken.” Clarke’s voice was husky, filled with desire.

Lexa smiled shyly, still gathering her breath.

“You should do that more.”

Lexa frowned, not quite sure of what she meant.

Clarke chuckled. “Smile, I mean. Oh, and I promised to take you out to dinner. Tomorrow night?”

“I have to work.”

“Right, um, can I pick you up after your shift? I won’t enter the club if that bothers you.” Clarke laced her hand with Lexa.

“Does it bother _you_?” Lexa needed to know if this was going to be a problem for Clarke. Anya was right on one thing.  They belonged to different worlds.

“No.” Clarke was serious.

“Okay, after 11 is fine.” Lexa tipped Clarke’s chin up with her fingertips, “but right now I would like to kiss you more.”

“That sounds like a plan. It’s a date.” Clarke smiled and kissed the brunette again.

_______________

Lexa had been dancing for a couple of hours; when she was requested for private show for a very important businessman, Marcus Kane. The man was good-looking for his age; she could admit that even though she was gay as fuck. It was clear he had tons of money. He was into politics, Chancellor of The Ark, a military company that developed weapons for the government. He was a frequent visitor of the club and Lexa was well acquainted with him.

Lexa moved her ass left and right, then circled Marcus. “I see something bothers you, Chancellor.” If Lexa learned something in this business, it was to read people.

“Indeed, Commander.”

Lexa swayed her hips, and shook her shoulders to the beat of the music and rolled on the tip of her toes.

“Things are complicated at work. Major decisions need to be made.”

“And my boobs are going to help you made a decision?” Lexa arched her eyebrow, face stoic, hard to read.

Marcus laughed. “Kind of. You’re a good listener, actually.”

“Thank you, sir.” Lexa kept moving, shaking her hips and in her next twist she removed her bra.

“If you had to decide between risking your nation and fight for your freedom or make a deal and save as many as you could, what would you do, Commander?” Marcus leaned in his chair, watching Lexa’s moves while he drank his scotch.

“Hmmm,” Lexa pondered while she kept dancing, she did a twist and dropped down, then stood up shoving her butt near Marcus. “Head over heart, sir. Save your people.”

“Well, damn me to hell, you give better advice than old Jake Griffin, may he rest in peace. You could be a great asset to my company, Commander. Maybe we could ‘discuss’ this some other time.”

“Sorry, sir. I’m in lesbians with someone else.” Lexa smirked, she couldn’t avoid showing emotion when she thought of Clarke.

Marcus smiled, “OH! Got it. She’s a lucky girl I guess.” Marcus stood up. Immediately Gustus entered the room and offered Lexa a jacket to cover herself, watching over her and making sure Marcus didn’t try anything weird.

“I’m the lucky one, Chancellor.”

Marcus took out his wallet, he pulled several hundreds and gave them to Lexa. “As a thank you. You have given me some insight.”

Marcus smiled and walked away.

Lexa checked the clock on the wall. Clarke was supposed to be here in about 20 minutes. Lexa hurried to the locker room, showered to remove the smoke and alcohol smell of the club and dressed. Her clothes were pretty plain, black jeans and a grey top. She put on a leather jacket and boots; she brushed her hair and walked out of the club when ready.

 

Clarke arrived right on time. Lexa noticed the fancy car, and she felt underdressed.

Clarke took her to one of those fancy restaurants that Lexa saw in magazines. Clarke was met by the hostess and the entrance and gave her name.

“But of course, Miss Griffin. Table for two?” The woman asked, eyeing Lexa with certain disdain.

“Yeah, two please.”

The woman led the way to a table beside a floor-to-ceiling window. The city was beautiful from where they were seated. Clarke thanked the hostess and took the menu.

Lexa eyed the menu but she had no clue what it meant. It was clearly not English.

“What would you like?” Clarke asked with a smile on her face.

Lexa was simply stunned by how gorgeous she was. Clarke was dressed in a white blazer, her hair was loose and her make-up was so on point. Her rosy lips shone with the lip-gloss she wore, her eyes looked hypnotic with the eyeliner and the angel wings. Lexa wanted to kiss her badly.

“I don’t know, what do you recommend?”

Clarke was happy to comply. She offered her opinion on all the dishes Lexa asked. Lexa decided to go with the steak tartare.

 

“Excuse me, please bring us a red Bordaeux, a steak tartare for the lady and for me Magret de Canard. Thanks.” Clarke handed back the menus and paid her full attention to Lexa.

“This is a very nice place Clarke, but I’d be content going for a burger.”

“This place has great food, I can assure you. But if it’s not to your liking, next time I’ll take you wherever you want.” Clarke smiled and put her hand over Lexa. “I want you to be happy.”

“I am, Clarke.”

The two girls talked about their dreams and goals, about their life and Lexa was simply in awe, Clarke was such a caring girl, humble and kind. For all the money Clarke had, she was pure.

“Sometimes when you have to follow the steps of your parents the pressure is greater. Everyone expected me to fill my dad’s shoes. He developed high tech weapons for The Ark but, he passed away in an accident in his lab.” Clarke took sip of her wine.

“Wait, Jake Griffin?” Lexa squeezed Clarke’s free hand.

“Yeah. You know him?”

Lexa thought of how small the world was, incredible that Marcus Kane was connected to the Griffin’s.

“Okay, please tell me my dad wasn’t one of your frequent clients.” Clarke was pale.

“Oh, no no. God no. Um, one of his associates is. I can’t say more.” Lexa could say that, but she couldn’t say anything else. Club’s policy.

“It’s okay. Anyway, moving on with our current topic, I was more interested in helping people so I opted for medicine and my mother is this huge surgeon and sometimes I get like the same pressure to succeed like her.”

“You’re very clever, you’ll do just fine.” Lexa poured more of the exquisite liquid in her empty glass. “I’ve seen you draw in your free time, you’re amazing.”

“Nah, that’s just a hobby. I don’t think I could pursue art. Expectations, you know? But you, you should go to dance school.”

Lexa chuckled bitterly, not that she did it on purpose, but she was used to having her dreams crushed. “Clarke, I can barely pay with my current career. How do you expect me to go to dance school?”

“I thought that you could give it a shot. I know some people—“

“No!” Lexa spat. She breathed deeply calming the rising anger, “sorry, Clarke. I know you want to help, but don’t.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you. Sorry.”

Lexa understood the need of Clarke to help. That was who the blonde was. She gave back so much already, but Lexa didn’t want to become a burden to her, much less feel that she was getting paid in return for her company.

They moved to other less complicated topics and finished their meals.

 

After dessert Clarke paid the bill with her platinum credit card, and escorted Lexa back to her car. Clarke insisted on giving Lexa a ride home instead of letting her take the bus. Clarke drove responsibly and made sure to follow Lexa’s directions.

Lexa had to admit she felt a bit ashamed of her current home. They lived in a poor neighborhood east of the Anacostia River, and she was hesitant to bring Clarke to this zone. Nonetheless, Clarke never showed any kind of disgust.

Clarke parked outside her apartment complex, and killed the engine of her car. She turned around quickly and opened the door for her companion. Clarke entangled her hand with Lexa and walked her back up to her floor.

The two girls stop outside of the entrance door. Lexa turned around after opening the lock.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Clarke.”

“No, thank you for joining me. I had so much fun with you. I like being with you, Lexa.” Clarke smiled sheepishly.

“Me too, Clarke.”

Lexa cupped Clarke’s face and kissed her. Clarke responded right away, backing her against the door. They kissed passionately, Clarke’s hands roamed around Lexa’s back while Lexa tongued Clarke. Then, the brunette moved to tend to Clarke’s neck, dropping kisses along her neckline. Clarke groaned and leaned her head to the side trying to give as much access as possible to the dancer.

Lexa returned her attention to those heavenly lips. Clarke pressed her leg between Lexa’s making the brunette moan in pleasure.

And the door was suddenly opened.

 

“Shit!”

The two girls fell flat on the wooden boards. Clarke ended on top of Lexa and when she lifted her head to see what just happened she was met with a hunter’s knife on her neck.

“Lift up.” A command.

Clarke pushed her body away from Lexa and stood up slowly, hands in the air.

“Okay, calm down.” Clarke was cautious.

“Anya, drop the knife.” Lexa ordered.

Anya looked at Lexa with narrow eyes. Then her eyes returned to stare at Clarke.

“You have no business here, Blondie. Leave my sister alone!” Anya growled.

“I think she can decide for herself.” Clarke was reckless, even with a knife on her throat she didn’t back down, she looked into the other woman’s eyes. “I care for Lexa, Anya. I’m going nowhere unless she says so.”

Lexa moved between them and pushed Anya away from Clarke. “Attack her and you attack me.”

Anya clenched her jaw, and nodded to the green-eyed girl. She got back inside the small apartment.

Lexa faced Clarke again. “Sorry about that. You’re safe, I promise.” Lexa traced Clarke’s jaw with her fingertips. “Good night, Clarke.”

“Good night, Lexa.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek and with a smile went back home.

 

Lexa exhaled slowly, she couldn’t believe this was going on. The goddess from Olympus, the princess from the sky had chosen her, a mere mortal, a citizen of the ground.

Lexa felt like floating, like she was in a dream, or in an alternate universe of sorts. She wasn’t alone.

Not anymore.

However, sooner rather than later one has to wake up from their dreams, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hope you're enjoying this fic so far. I am having so much fun writing the thing and your feedback is nothing more than amazing. As always stop by in my inbox here or on tumblr to discuss headcanons or ask questions.
> 
> Thanks again for reading, and until next week update :)
> 
> Tana
> 
> commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby, don't you want to dance up on me?  
> (I just want to dance next to you)  
> To another time and place  
> Oh baby, don't you want to dance up on me?  
> (Are you ready?)  
> Leaving behind my name and age
> 
> Britney Spears - I'm A Slave 4 U

Clarke was in bed, her body snuggled deep under the covers. She was so sleepy since she spent last night studying and texting Lexa. A knock on her door announced visitors.

“Miss Griffin, you said to wake you up at 9. It’s time already.”

Clarke peeked through the covers. “Go away Jackson, I want to sleep. Five more minutes please.” Clarke mumbled and buried herself under the pillows.

Minutes later someone jumped on top of the bed.

“Fuck!”

“Time to wake up lover girl.”

“Raven, what the hell?”

“You said we were going to have breakfast together and Octavia is outside in the car waiting, so get up, take a shower and let’s go!” Raven pulled the covers off Clarke. She could clearly see the blonde’s bruises on her neck. “Damn, you don’t waste anytime. Stripper girl is leaving her mark.”

Clarke snapped out of her dream haze. “Don’t call her that! Lexa is joining us and I don’t want to offend her. Jesus, Raven. Don’t blow this!”

Raven looked at her friend inquisitively. “How serious is this, Clarke?”

Clarke scrubbed her face, trying to get back to reality after sleeping for a few hours. “I don’t know, we’ve been dating for several weeks now. I just know that I like her, Raven. I trust her, so please, try to get to know her. Lexa might seem like the grumpiest girl ever, but she’s amazing. Give her a chance.”

“If you’re happy, I’m happy, Clarke. It’s not your conventional relationship or whatever you have at the moment, though.” Raven stood up from the bed leaving space for Clarke to prepare for the day.

“I know that. Why is it so hard to understand that we like each other?”

“It’s unexpected, that’s all.”

“I’ll get ready now, tell Jackson if you need anything, okay?” Clarke went into the shower.

 

Once the med student was ready, Raven, Octavia and Clarke headed to a local waffle shop to meet  Lexa.

Lexa arrived right on time and as soon as Clarke saw her eyes, she beamed of happiness.

“Hey, Clarke.” Lexa greeted. “Octavia. Raven,” Lexa acknowledged. It was so clear how Lexa guarded herself with people she didn’t trust. Lexa was polite but never gave too much away with her body language, much less with her words. One could never know how she was feeling, except for Clarke. She had learned to see beyond those walls. She didn’t blame Lexa for being cautious, life had been tough and she was exposed to judgment by people who really had no clue who she was. But Clarke knew. Since she met her, Clarke has done everything in her power to get close to Lexa, to be there for her, to be the friend she needed. It was a plus that now they were something else. Clarke wasn’t sure yet what.

 

They ordered waffles with hashbrowns and talked about college life, how boring some teachers were, how Jasper and Monty had been caught hacking the student database for a prank and got suspended. About Murphy who got beaten up by some dudes in a bar for being a complete asshole.

“And Finn was caught with Murphy. I really don’t get why he’s hanging out with him.” Octavia commented.

The name brought memories to Clarke, heartbreak and disappointment. Lexa immediately caught it, Lexa was a great observer and took her hand in hers. She didn’t need words, just the contact was enough to soothe Clarke.

“It’s his problem if he wants to get in trouble all the time.” Raven added.

“Well, those idiots are not worth your time, Lexa.” Clarke took a bite of her waffle.

“My friends can be sometimes difficult as well. You already know Lincoln.”

“Oh yeah, Lincoln is awesome,” Octavia commented with a huge smile and red cheeks.

“Yes, he is like a big brother. We grew up together in Alexandria. After my parents’ death, Anya brought me to DC where she worked, Lincoln followed. He takes care of all of us at the club. You should come and meet the girls when we practice our routines, if you want.” Lexa offered.

“Sure thing, I would like to meet all your friends as well.” Clarke drank her orange juice and smiled at Lexa, happy to see how little by little Lexa was opening up to her.

The four girls finished their breakfast  and Clarke departed with Lexa.

 

The two were walking hand in hand, enjoying the beautiful Sunday morning in DC. They headed to a park and sat under the largest shade tree. Clarke leaned on Lexa while the brunette caressed her softly.

This was what Clarke liked about Lexa, how gentle she was with her, the way she touched her reverently. No one had ever looked at and touched her like Lexa did. She was kind, and a big softy on the inside. Life had hardened the exotic dancer but her heart was full of hope and dreams.

“You have good friends, Clarke. They seem to care a lot about you.” Lexa spoke, her eyes were lost in the scenery. Clarke rested her head in the crook of her neck, while Lexa held her in her strong arms.

“Yeah, they are nice. Sometimes annoying but I love them.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s majestic jawline, teasingly.

Lexa smiled at Clarke and dropped a feathery kiss on her temple. “Yes, sometimes the people we love can be annoying.”

“You mean Anya?” Clarke closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of Lexa. Sandalwood and honey. All woman and desire.

“She is very protective of me. I am all she has left. I hope you understand, Clarke.”

“Yeah, no worries. She can come at me with the biggest sword and I still won’t leave you.” Clarke lifted her ass from the grass and sat on Lexa’s lap. “Because I really, really like you, Commander.”

Lexa eyed Clarke, her green eyes turned darker, the pupils engulfing the iris, her hands moved to the blonde’s waist holding her in place. The temptation to take Clarke right there and there was becoming hard to avoid. Clarke loved to see the fight in Lexa’s eyes, she was so composed all the time, but in moments like this, she could see raw hunger in her eyes.

Clarke leaned down and kissed her, lips moving against one another like velvet, smooth silk over skin, heaven and sin together. Lexa pressed Clarke closer to her, her fingers touching her body over the bothersome material Clarke was wearing. And then Lexa broke the kiss, heavy breaths clear evidence of her arousal, lips wet and bitten.

“I like you too, Clarke.” Lexa admitted with a shy smile.

Clarke circled Lexa with her arms, still in her lap. “Then I guess it’s official, we’re gal pals.”

Lexa knitted her brows, clearly lost. “What?”

“Gal pals. You’re my bae, my girlfriend.”

“I don’t need titles to be with you Clarke.” Lexa caressed Clarke, touching her lightly and burning her skin. One touch of this girl and Clarke was on fire.

“Yeah, but I rather let everyone else know that you’re my babe.” Clarke pecked Lexa’s lips.

“Very well, if that’s what you want.” Lexa’s hand was now over Clarke’s thighs, moving so slow over the jeans she was wearing. Clarke could feel the pit of her stomach melting, sweet liquid pooling between her legs.

“Yes.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s neck while she was touched. Lexa leaned her head back, letting Clarke do as she pleased with her.

“I think that tomorrow night would be a great time to finish our project.” Clarke kept kissing the brunette. Her hands moved to Lexa’s torso, sliding over the flannel shirt the dancer was wearing, touching her breasts carefully.

“Agree.” Lexa’s voice was now deeper, rough. Her eyes closed, giving herself to Clarke.

“Come to my place. Netflix and pizza after we’re done.” Clarke suggested while she kept teasing the living hell of her partner.

 

Lexa snapped out of her lust and pushed carefully Clarke off of her. “Shit, Clarke. I won’t be able to keep it together much longer and we’re in a goddamn park. Play nice, okay?” Lexa pleaded and Clarke laughed, she loved taking Lexa to the edge.

“Okay babe, I’ll be nice. Tomorrow night, I’m not so sure.”

Lexa flushed and stood up from her spot, and helped Clarke to stand up. Pulling her from her arms.

“Meet me tomorrow at the club, then we’ll go to your place and finish the project. Alright?” Lexa took Clarke’s hand, pulling the blonde closer to her.

“Sure.”

_________________

Clarke made it to the strip club early, per Lexa’s instructions. She parked her car and walked to the back door. She knocked twice when the huge bearded man opened the door.

“Hey, I’m looking for Lexa. It’s Clarke.”

The man disappeared one second, making her wait outside. The door opened again.

“Follow me. But first, security check up. No cameras allowed.”

“Right.”

The man checked her handbag and pockets, once she was cleared he took Clarke through a narrow hall until they reached the back of the stage.

There were several girls in sports clothes stretching; Clarke stood awkwardly there until she heard her voice.

“Hey Clarke. You made it.”

“Hi, I see you’re getting ready for practice.”

Clarke followed Lexa to the locker room. There, Lexa introduced her friends. “These are Caris and Echo, my fellow dancers and friends.”

“Nice meeting you.” Clarke offered a kind smile. Lexa kept moving through the lockers and Clarke walked after her.

 

They reached a small office, Lexa knocked and when she opened the door she was welcomed by another girl. Brown curls fell below her shoulders, she was around Clarke’s height, slim built, regal nose and brown eyes over fair skin.

“There you are. I was wondering if you would like to try -  oh, a visitor?”

“Yes, this is Clarke.” Lexa smiled to the girl.

Clarke noticed the familiarity between them; the bright smile the brunette offered so easily to this girl made her heart growl.

“Clarke, this is Costia. Costia, meet Clarke.”

Clarke offered her hand that was shook in return, a beautiful smile in place, a very polite but weary smile that is.

“I remember you from a while ago. It’s not everyday that a cute blonde girl comes to a strip club.” Costia eyed Clarke, studying her.

“Right, I must say, that was quite the adventure,” Clarke grinned and winked at Lexa making her blush. Costia noticed the exchange, her expression shifted from weary to worried.

“Clarke is going to stay with me for the day. We have to finish a class project afterwards.” Lexa said kind of apologetically, still offering a sweet smile to Costia.

“Yes we are, _babe_.”

Clarke got the strange vibe between Costia and Lexa, she wasn’t sure what was going on between them, but whatever it was she had to stake claim. And so, the need to establish somehow that they were more than ‘friends.’

“We’ll talk when I’m done.” Lexa smiled at Costia and guided Clarke back to the club.

 

“Is she a dancer too?” Clarke now was wondering what kind of relationship Lexa had with Costia. Lexa reached the front stage where she offered a place for Clarke to sit. Lexa sat beside her.

“No, Costia is a physiotherapist and manager’s assistant. She helps with our injuries so she comes here when needed.”

“Oh, that comes in handy.” Immediately Clarke pictured Costia touching Lexa’s strong legs, massaging her tattooed back.

“Yes, indeed.” Lexa said as a matter of fact.

Clarke took a hold of Lexa’s hand, displaying affection and making sure that everyone knew that Lexa was hers. Lexa turned her gaze to where Costia was at the moment, talking with Echo. Clarke noticed how soft Lexa’s eyes became when she looked at her.

“Costia is special to me. She met me in my toughest years. I was fighting most of the time and being an idiot. Once, I got into a big fight with a gang leader at school. I won, of course.” Lexa tilted her chin up, a small smile appeared on her face. “But I was hurt pretty badly too. I couldn’t go back to Anya like that or else she was going to be the one who was going to kill me. Costia found me breaking into the gym’s infirmary and offered to take care of me.”

Alright, now Clarke couldn’t hate Costia even if she wanted to. Costia had been there for Lexa, and by the looks Costia gave Lexa, it was now more than obvious, Costia was in love with Lexa.

“She cleaned my split knuckles and wiped the blood from my face. She became my best friend, my partner in crime ever since. I changed my ways; I tried to do better for all of them. And so I enrolled in poli sci with effort and sacrifice.”

Clarke was so moved by her determination, by how much she cared for her friends, how loyal she was to them. Clarke traced Lexa’s cheek with tenderness.

“You are amazing.” Clarke tipped her chin and kissed her briefly.

Someone cleared a throat behind them. The girls split quickly and Lexa stood up right away.

“Indra.” Lexa said.

“A word, Lexa.”

A black woman in her 40’s stood in front of them, dark eyes scanning Clarke and then looked directly at Lexa.

Lexa nodded and followed the woman back to her office.

 

Clarke remained seated where she was, a minute later came Costia, she offered a can of soda and took a seat beside her.

“Thanks.”

‘Iggy Bitty Piggy’ by Nicki Minaj began thumping in the background and Echo and Caris came out onstage, practicing their choreography. The two dancers moved their hips with the flow, movements fast and energetic.

“You and Lexa are dating?” Costia asked paying attention to the two girls on stage.

“Yes.” Clarke admitted.

Costia inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “Now it all makes sense. Lexa had been more distracted lately.” Costia chuckled, “she seems happy.”

“That’s what I want. Her to be happy.” Clarke took a swig of her drink, then, eyed Costia. “Have you told her how you feel?”

Costia kept silent. Lexa returned to the stage, Costia’s eyes following the dancer.

“Alright, Indra wants to see the new choreography before we show it to the boss. Cut that music, Gustus!” Lexa instructed. The girls followed her orders and got in position. Lexa was a natural leader, as Clarke observed.

“Do we include the chairs?” Echo asked while stretching her hamstrings. “No, let’s just make the routine without them.” Lexa said.

‘Beautiful Monster’ by Ne-Yo started to play and the three girls started their dance.

“She knows.” Costia finally said. “I told her when we were still young, but she was so closed and guarded back then. She is my first love, Clarke. And seeing her open up to you… I’m really happy for her.” Costia sounded sad. “Lexa doesn’t open up to anyone, and the fact that she likes you is a big deal. So tell me, Clarke. Are you just playing with her? People like you just don’t come and fall in love with people like us.”

Clarke looked at Costia, she clearly got her concern, however, Clarke was fed up with that topic. “Look, I don’t have to justify my actions to you or anyone. I can only assure you that I mean well.” Clarke said with finality, she was done with everyone making a big deal out of this.

The trio moved in unison, nonetheless it was Lexa who stole the show. Her movements were sensuous, powerful and energetic. Lexa flowed with the beat, changing one step to the next with ease. Clarke saw that Lexa was not just a good dancer, she was a complete athlete, dance, rhythm, strength -  Lexa was the complete package. Or maybe Clarke was extremely biased towards the stripper.

“That was very good. I think that Mr. Wallace will approve of the new changes to the show.” Indra stated after the trio was done.

 

Lexa jumped down the stage and grabbed a towel. Costia stood up and picked up water bottles for all the girls.

“I’ll check your shoulder later.” Costia said to Lexa and walked backstage.

“Everything okay?” Lexa dried the sweat from her face and hung the towel around her neck.

“Yeah, you dance so damn well.” Clarke smiled.

“Good to know. I hope you weren’t bored.” Lexa took Clarke’s hand in hers and kissed her palm.

“I think we can remedy that if she was.” Caris smiled widely and with a nod to Gustus, music started to blast from the speakers again. “Sit down princess. Let’s see if you can take my moves.”

Clarke sat again and Lexa moved to let Caris try her dance on Clarke. Lexa sat on the edge of the stage drinking the bottle of water given to her by Costia.

Caris moved to the rhythm of ‘Phenomena’ by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Caris swung her body in front of Clarke.

Clarke was laughing, having so much fun. Lexa remained stoic, just watching her partner. Caris kneeled moving her torso to the beat of the drums, going up slowly, strength and determination in her movements. She turned around and got very close to Clarke, moving her hips with the strength of the bass and the energy of the guitar. She shook her arms, rolled and fell onto her knees right in front of Clarke. Caris shook her hips while moving up and extended her leg all the way up.

“Damn, that is some elasticity you got there.” Clarke giggled.

“You have seen nothing yet.” Caris turned and winked.

Clarke followed her movements with her eyes. She had to admit that Caris had a nice butt. Caris shook her towel behind her back, thrusting her hips and then she slid the towel behind Clarke, pulling Clarke’s body very close to hers.

“So watcha think?” Caris wiggled her eyebrows, inches from Clarke.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Lexa pulled Caris away from Clarke, her face stone cold, eyes unreadable.

Caris burst in laughter. “I hear ya, Commander. Hands off your girl. Tell me Clarke how’d I do?”

“You would have earned a good tip.” Clarke replied, cheeky smile in place.

Lexa faced Clarke, still stoic, eyebrows raised questioning.

“Hell yeah.” Caris high-fived Clarke and headed to the showers.

Lexa crossed her arms. “Really?”

Clarke laughed harder, covering her mouth trying to muffle it. She pulled Lexa close to her. “Yes, but _you_ would leave me broke. Wanna try?”

“Good.” Lexa walked into Clarke’s personal space. “But that I’ll do in private, Clarke. I’ll shower and meet you in 15, then we’ll go to your place and finish the project.”

Clarke nodded and Lexa went to clean her sweaty body. Clarke now couldn’t stop thinking about having Lexa dancing for her all alone, in the privacy of her room. Things could get very dangerous tonight. And Clarke liked that idea very much.

_______________

After Lexa finished her practice at the club, Clarke brought her to her home. Lexa was seriously impressed. The size of Clarke’s kitchen alone was the size of Lexa’s apartment. Clarke wanted her to be comfortable but Lexa was actually more worried about damaging anything in the loft. “If by any chance I break or damage anything I don’t think I could repay you Clarke,” was all Lexa said.

“Don’t be silly. I’d never do that to you.”

Jackson came and offered something to drink to the ladies before Clarke moved on with the rest of the tour of the Griffin’s lair.

 

Clarke was trying to really concentrate on the work to be done, but it was nearly impossible with Lexa sitting so close to her. Lexa was wearing her glasses to read the open document on the laptop that she borrowed from Clarke to review their conclusion. “I think we might need to cite more sources here. It lacks some depth and you know how Professor Miller is regarding our evidence.”

“Um, gimme a sec, I found supporting evidence that might be useful. I’ve bookmarked some research papers.” Clarke typed on her keyboard. She was so distracted that she could barely read the paper she found in the database. She was paying more attention to her girlfriend. Clarke smiled. How good it was to know that Lexa was hers. “Here. Check it out.” Clarke tilted her screen in Lexa’s direction. Lexa walked toward Clarke to read, standing behind her. Clarke was right between her arms trapped under Lexa. Lexa leaned closer to the screen not paying attention to Clarke who was lost, looking at her profile, her strong jaw, and those full lips.

“I like it.” Lexa looked at Clarke and caught her staring. Lexa frowned, “what?”

“No, nothing. Let’s finish this damn work already.”

Lexa went back to her place and continued working, adding the information that Clarke found.

“Would you require anything else, miss?” Jackson entered the studio with a tray with two Corona’s.

“Nah, thanks Jackson. I think you should go now. My mother won’t come until very late so take the night off.” Clarke smiled.

Jackson, the butler who had being with Clarke since she was a small child knew what this was all about. The man eyed Clarke with clear suspicion. “Miss Clarke, maybe I should stick around in case your friend needs anything else.”

“No, Jackson, Lexa is going to be well tended to by me.” Clarke stood up from her chair and started to push Jackson out of the studio, she opened the door. “Take. The night. OFF!” Clarke whispered and quickly closed the door.

 

Lexa closed the lid of the laptop and took a bottle of beer, she uncapped it and took a swig. “What now?”

“We’re going to watch movies. Come.” Clarke extended her hand so Lexa could grab it. Clarke guided Lexa out of the studio, they walked through the now silent living room, they went upstairs and Clarke opened the door to her bedroom.

“Sit whenever you like.” Clarke closed the door without locking it. She walked to the TV and turned it on. With the remote she clicked on the Netflix logo and sat on the bed. Lexa took the spot on the bean bag.

“Your bedroom is really nice. So wide and you have an incredible view.” Lexa commented.

“Thanks. Glad you like it. You can come here anytime.” Clarke kicked her shoes off and leaned on her bed, looking for a movie that might be fun.

“Who’s Finn?” Lexa asked out of nowhere.

Clarke didn’t say anything, she kept scrolling through the movie menu.

“I know the mention of his whereabouts bothered you when we had breakfast yesterday. Why?”

Clarke sighed; the least she could do was be honest with Lexa as well. “He was my boyfriend.”

“Oh, the guy with the nice hair, huh?”

“Yeah, how do you…? Never mind. We dated for several months. I loved him very much. I thought that what we had was special, but I was fooling myself. He was using me to forget about his ex. I broke up with him and I’ve moved on.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Lexa didn’t ask any more questions about Finn.

 

Clarke opted for a comedy; they ended up watching ‘The Heat.’ Clarke was cracking up with laughter. Lexa curved her lips slightly but for Clarke that was enough. The two drank the whole six-pack of beer and ate a full bag of chips that Jackson left. Clarke was sure now that time passed differently when she was with Lexa Woods. And she was grateful for that.

“Oh my god, Mullins brought the cat!” Lexa smiled in complete disbelief.

Clarke snorted. “Yeah, she’s gonna have to give it back to her poor neighbor.”

“That was a fun movie, Clarke. Great choice.” Lexa removed her glasses now that the movie was over and put them on the desk near the TV. “Now what? Another one?”

“Nope.” Clarke rolled off the bed and pulled Lexa up, holding her very close to her. “Now we’re going to have some sexy time.” Clarke kissed Lexa softly, teasingly, dropping soft kisses along her neck and jaw, and next her attention was back on her lips.

“Dance for me.” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear, then she licked her earlobe and sucked it, making Lexa gasp. “Is that what you want?”

“Mhmm.” Clarke kept kissing Lexa.

“Very well. Sit.”

Clarke took the chair from her desk and put it in front of Lexa. She sat down and waited impatiently. Lexa removed her jacket, exposing a tight fitting top that showed her sexy arms and that tattoo on her right arm that Clarke liked so much. Lexa took Clarke’s Ipod and checked for a suitable musical selection to set the mood.

She plugged it to a speaker and pressed play.

The beat of the song started, Clarke knew it of course, ‘I’m a Slave 4 You’ by Britney, bitch. Clarke knew she was in deep shit now.

Lexa moved her hips to the rhythm of the drums, left right left right, eyes glued to Clarke who had to pick up her jaw from the floor.

Lexa’s hips rolled slowly down while she moved towards Clarke. Her hands travelled down her torso until they reached her legs and up again. Clarke followed each movement with her eyes. Lexa was right in front of her, she straddled Clarke still moving to beat, thrusting her hips slow.

“Oh sweet Jesus.” Clarke mumbled.

Lexa arched her spine back and forth, her boobs teasing Clarke. Clarke couldn’t help it and grasped Lexa’s butt.

“Hands off, Clarke!” Lexa narrowed her eyes, still focused on her task of killing Clarke slowly.

“Are you serious?” Clarke complained. She was so damn hot and bothered. It was her fault nonetheless for asking for this in the first place.

Lexa kept moving all over Clarke, hands over her body, Lexa leaned her head back and closed her eyes, like in a trance with the music. Then she took a step back and walked behind Clarke, Lexa’s hands moved over Clarke, touching her ever so slightly, brushing her fingertips over her breasts and down on her abdomen. Lexa moved again in front of Clarke, with her back to her she kept moving her rear, in slow circles, then she bent over giving Clarke a full view of her ass, even when she had her pants on Clarke was about to have a stroke.

“Oh fuck.”

Then Lexa started to lift her top until the black piece of cloth was off, revealing the huge back tattoo, Lexa turned on her heel facing Clarke again. She started to unbutton her jeans. Clarke gaze was glued to Lexa’s hands, she unzipped the black pants and Clarke swore she was gone from this world.

Lexa flipped her hair in the sexiest way ever and straddled Clarke again; sitting in her lap she leaned in and kissed Clarke deeply. Her tongue inside Clarke while the beat of the music kept going. Clarke’s hands were right on the bare back of the stripper. Kissing her desperately, tracing the hot skin with her nails. Lexa cupped Clarke’s face, her hips kept rolling over Clarke and the friction between their clothes was making Clarke so wet. Clarke pulled down one of Lexa’s bra straps kissing her bare shoulder while Lexa moaned. Lexa entangled her fingers in the mass of blonde hair and pulled carefully to bring Clarke’s lips to her.

The sound of their kissing increased, the touches between them became greedy, and one hand of Clarke slipped inside Lexa’s pants, reaching her wet underwear. “Clarke.” Lexa breathed heavily, the desire to be touched in her wet cunt was too much.

“I got you babe.” Clarke was so damn ready, so fucking ready to do this. To give Lexa what she needed and to take what she wanted from Lexa.

Lexa leaned again and took Clarke’s mouth with hunger, so hard and rough, Lexa’s self-control was going down the drain. Her discipline lost, she was going to ravage Clarke Griffin and take her on every single piece of furniture of her fancy room.

“Clarke where is Jack—“

The two girls split looking at the figure standing at the door in complete horror.

“MOM!?”

“…”

The door closed faster than a lighting bolt.

“Shit shit shit shit.” Lexa was off of Clarke and looking for her shirt in the dimmed room.

“Hey Lexa, calm down.” Clarke brushed her disheveled her and fixed her clothes. “It’s okay babe.”

“Okay? None other than your mother busted us! This is not how I wanted to meet her, you know?” Lexa was red as a tomato.

Clarke walked to her girlfriend and took both of her hands. “Hey, I’m here. I’ll talk with my mom don’t worry.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek.

“No no, the appropriate thing to do is that I talk to her.”

“We’ll do it together, okay?”

 

Clarke waited until Lexa was presentable, the brunette was wearing again her jacket and glasses and once ready she followed Clarke out of her bedroom.

“Hey mom.” Clarke smiled at her mother. “You are kind of early, what happened with your meeting?”

Abby Griffin was seated at the dinner table. Her brown curls were tamed in a bun, she was dressed casually in jeans and a sweater. She was reading on her iPad when her brown eyes moved to her daughter and guest. “Canceled. And where on earth is Jackson?”

“I gave him the night free, you weren’t coming early so, um I told him to leave.” Clarke was holding Lexa’s hand while she got closer to greet her mother. “Mom, this is Lexa.”

“Good evening, Dr. Griffin. Pleasure to meet you.” Lexa greeted.

“Hello Lexa and I think the pleasure was my daughter’s.”

Lexa gulped down the knot in her throat. She was extremely embarrassed, feeling like a teenager again but she was not going to show weakness.

Clarke chuckled. “Mom, welcome home.” Clarke hugged and kissed her mother.

“Did you have dinner?” Abby asked.

“No, not yet. I wasn’t thinking about dinner when I got rid of Jackson.”

“Clearly. Let’s order pizza then.”

 

Abby was sitting at the head of the table; Clarke was to her right and Lexa to her left.

The three women had pizza while trying to maintain a decent conversation.

“So Lexa, where did you meet my daughter?” Abby took a bite of her slice; the woman could make eating pizza the fanciest thing in the world.

“University. We’re classmates.”

“Oh you’re pre-med as well?”

“No, I’m in political science, but we share one class.”

“I see. That is an interesting career. Your parents must be proud.”

Lexa clenched her jaw. “They’re dead. But I suppose they would.”

Abby froze. “Oh, sorry. It must be hard without them.”

“Kind of, my sister has done so much for me that the least I can do is work hard to help.”

“That is very noble. You see Clarke? Maybe this summer you would like to start working hard as well.”

“Mom, I don’t want to work at the clinic yet. When I’m ready I promise I will help you.” Clarke ate her pizza with less enthusiasm now.

“Are you planning any internship this summer, Lexa? I have some friends that might be happy to have you.”

“Mom, seriously?”

“No, Dr. Griffin. I have my hands full with my job and studying.”

“Oh, what you do for a living?”

“Mom, could you stop with the inquisition?” Clarke could feel the tension in Lexa, the scrutiny of her mother was starting to become bothersome.

“I dance.” Lexa was eyeing Clarke’s mother.

“Dance? You have an artistic side like Clarke. No wonder you like each other. Is it ballet? Jazz maybe?”

“Mom, leave it alone! Who cares what Lexa does with her free time?” Clarke was panicking and Lexa noticed it.

“Clarke I’m trying to get to know your friend here. Don’t be rude, honey.”

“Mom, Lexa is bored with all that nonsense.” Clarke was desperate to change the topic of conversation.

“I’m a stripper, Dr. Griffin. I work at a strip club, but I guess your daughter is too ashamed to let you know that.” Lexa blurted out.

Abby took a minute to assimilate what she just heard. “What?”

“Lexa, no. I’m not ashamed.”

“Really Clarke? Then why the desperation?” Lexa lifted herself up from the table. “Thank you for the dinner, Dr. Griffin. It was nice meeting you.” Lexa walked to the studio, picked up her backpack and headed for the exit.

“Lexa please wait a sec!” Clarke was going after her, trying to stop the pissed off woman.

“Clarke Griffin you stay right where you are!” Abby ordered.

Lexa shut down the door on her way out and was out of sight. Clarke knew she messed up and big time.

“Mom, can we leave this for later? I need to clear things up.” Clarke was desperate. She had hurt Lexa.

“You’re not going anywhere until I get an explanation, Clarke. A stripper? Are you out of your mind?” Abby reprimanded, she blocked the exit stopping Clarke from leaving the flat.

“Mom, stop.” Clarke was sad and hurting from her huge mistake. She should have been supportive instead of trying to hide that her girlfriend was a stripper. What an ass.

“Clarke, that girl works in a strip club. What kind of work is that? It’s not respectable.”

“STOP!” Clarke growled. “Lexa is the most respectable human being I’ve ever met. You’ve no idea how hard she works to pay her studies! I’m so done with you and everyone pointing out to me that she’s less than a decent person for stripping!!” Clarke stormed back to her bedroom. Lexa needed space, but tomorrow she was going to apologize for being a complete idiot to her.

“Clarke, don’t be naive. You think she cares? Let her find the next rich person and she will dump you in an instant.” Abby insisted.

“NO! Lexa cares about me, and I about her, mom. Lexa is trying so hard to be what you call respectable by quitting her dreams to be a dancer. She is in a career that might give her the respect you say she lacks!!!”

“She shows her body like merchandise, Clarke. What else do you expect will happen? I mean, isn’t that how you fell into her trap?” Abby quirked her brow, looking intently at Clarke.

“I can’t believe what you’re saying mom and she’s not a whore, enough of that! I’ll be with her whether you like it or not!” Clarke was angry at how people immediately dismissed Lexa because of what she did.

“Clarke, don’t make me take measures. I don’t want you near that strip club again or near that girl. You have been warned.”

“Or what?” Clarke clenched her fists, how people could be like this? Why could no one understand?

“Don’t test me, Clarke. I am your mother and I will do whatever it takes to protect your interests. Right now you might think you care about her. You’re just confused by her good looks, honey, and will realize soon enough that you’re just an opportunity for her to get out of her own hell.”

 

Clarke got inside her room, shut the door and laid on her bed, the tears started to stream down her cheeks. Clarke had so much rage inside, why couldn’t people see that this was not about money or social classes? Clarke didn’t care about any of that. And yet, she hesitated to let her mom know about what Lexa did.

“Aargh!” Clarke threw her pillows and everything near her. Why did this have to be so complicated, why couldn’t people stop reminding them how different they were, how incompatible their worlds were?

Clarke only knew that what she was feeling was real. That whenever Lexa touched her, her heart skip a beat, when her lips were on her skin, she felt like melting.

These feelings couldn’t be wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might get an extra chapter this week cos I am really sure I will finish writing this fic soon.  
> Stay tuned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one bites the dust  
> Oh why can I not conquer love  
> And I might have thought that we were one  
> Wanted to fight this war without weapons
> 
> And I wanted it, I wanted it bad  
> But there were so many red flags  
> Now another one bites the dust  
> Yeah let's be clear, I'll trust no one
> 
> Sia - Elastic Heart

Clarke couldn’t sleep with so much worry. She tried to contact Lexa by phone but all her calls went to voicemail. Clarke sent texts as well but got zero replies. Clarke was truly sorry that she failed to support her girlfriend. Now Lexa was mad at her and with good reason.

When Clarke opened her eyes light was filtering through the windows, she slept in her clothes from last night in a very awkward position that resulted in severe back pain.

“Ow, fuck!” Clarke sat on the bed, stretched her back and moved quickly to the shower. She was going to probably be late but she didn’t care, she was going to find Lexa on campus before anything else. That was her priority.

 

Clarke put on clean jeans and a white top, she ran downstairs, picked up her backpack from the study and headed to the exit when she saw her mother eating breakfast.

“Good morning, Clarke.”

Clarke eyed her mother with anger. She ignored her and picked up her car keys from the key holder behind the door.

“What do you know about Lexa Woods?”

Clarke stopped and turned around. “Mom, what did you do?”

“I did a little research.” Abby took a sip of her coffee and lifted her iPad, she swiped her finger over the screen and proceeded to read. “Lexa Woods, 23 years old, born in Alexandria, Virginia. She has a juvie record, a very extensive one.”

“I’m not hearing this. This is utter bullshit mom! How could you? You don’t really know her.” Clarke clenched her jaw, this was not who Lexa was.

“And you do? Clarke, you’re so blind that you don’t see the real danger that girl is.” Abby drank more from her coffee.

“I’m outta here. I won’t listen to all that crap.” Clarke made her way out before her mother stained Lexa’s image more. Lexa had been honest with her. She knew she had a tough childhood. Lexa told her she fought with a gang leader once; of course that meant that Lexa had been a very dangerous girl. But that was all in the past. Lexa did her best for Anya and “Costia.”

 

Classes were boring as hell, Clarke’s mind was out in space, trying to come up with a good apology. She realized that apart from Psychology she had zero idea where to find Lexa. She didn’t know her schedule and so she had to wait to talk to her until she was at the club. Classes were a serious pain in the ass. At least at lunchtime Clarke could concentrate on a way to approach this huge mess.

“Earth calling Clarke, are you there?” Raven threw more m&m’s in Clarke’s direction.

“Raven, seriously don’t waste the red ones, they are my fave.” Octavia punched lightly at her friend in the arm.

“Ouch, just trying to bring this dumbass from thirsty-land.”

“What is it Raven?” Clarke asked absentmindedly, she played with her food on her platter.

“That’s what I wanna know. You’re our ray of sunshine, Clarke.” Raven frowned, “Okay, nope, that sounded really wrong.”

Octavia laughed and threw popcorn towards Raven. “Yeah she might be your ray of sunshine you dumbass, but not mine.”

Clarke laughed a bit. “Thanks guys, you two are the best friends in the whole world.”

“So? Big fight with your gal?” Octavia threw popcorn in the air and caught it with her mouth.

Clarke sighed. “I fucked up. I didn’t have her back. My mom flipped and—“

“Wooah, slow down Griffin. Your mom? Does Abby know about you and Lexa?” Raven was open-mouthed, eyes wide. Octavia cocked her eyebrow, looking at her friend with interest.

“Yeah, she found us last night.”

“Oh my gooooood. Someone got laid last night!” Octavia raised her fist in the air. “Start paying Reyes. You owe me big bucks.”

“Wait a sec, she never said they did the do, O. Calm the fuck down.”

“You two bet on me and Lexa? Fuck off!”

“Clarke, we’re just worried about your physiological needs. If Lexa can take care of them so be it.” Octavia smiled with a twinkle of mischievousness.

“We didn’t do anything, O. Just kissed, but that’s not the problem. Mom asked Lexa a thousand questions and then,” Clarke ran her hand through her hair in frustration, “I tried to stop my mom, cos I knew what was coming. I was afraid and, Lexa said it and I didn’t want mom to know and Lexa assumed I was ashamed, but I was actually scared of my mom’s reaction.”

“That sucks.” Raven patted Clarke’s arm giving some reassurance. “I guess Abby is pissed, huh?”

“Yup, she’s already dug into Lexa’s past. I just wanted mom to accept her, and now because I’m an idiot my mom is paranoid and Lexa hates me.” Clarke pouted, she was utterly sad. She needed to speak with Lexa as soon as possible.

“Nah, Lexa won’t hate you. Have you seen the way she looks at you? It’s disgusting, all puppy eyes and heart eyes.” Raven rolled her eyes, “Can someone look at me like that please? Is that too much to ask?” Raven asked out loud.

“Shut up, Raven!” Jasper screamed from the window above them.

Octavia and Clarke laughed.

“You just have to woo your lady. You know the whole flowers and chocolate technique might work.” Octavia suggested. She popped more popcorn into her mouth.

“I’m not sure. Lexa probably would hit me with the flowers.” Clarke thought about it. “Maybe we should take a walk or something.”

“Alright, there ya go. Go get back your lady.” Raven smiled, encouraging her friend.

“Yeah, we have your back, Clarke. If that is who you wanna be with, then you go and fight for her.” Octavia said solemnly.

“Oh shut up, O. That’s because you are so whipped by Lincoln, and since Linc is Team Lexa you gotta support Clarke as well.” Raven laughed.

“Thanks. You two are the best friends I could ever have. Seriously.”

________________

After she was done with her classes Clarke gathered her courage and headed to ‘Mount Weather.’ She knew that Lexa would be practicing at this time of day. Her boss wanted to offer a more lively show to his clients so Lexa had been practicing non-stop for the re-launching of the strip club in two weeks.

Clarke parked her car and walked through the front door, not waiting for anyone to open up or scan her first. She went in determined, she was ready to get her girl back.

She could hear the music from where she was, Lexa’s commanding voice giving instructions to the other girls. Her skin tingled at the sound of it. She reached the end of the tunnel and came into the expanse of the club, the stage was lit and the girls were sweating in gym clothes after dancing.

Clarke stopped a couple of meters away from the main stage. The voices of the girls became silent and they looked at her. At that, Lexa turned around to see what was distracting her team.

“Well, if it isn’t Clarke Griffin honoring us with her presence.” Lexa remained stoic, her expression neutral, but burning Clarke with her stare. “What brings you to this place?” Lexa asked.

“May we speak in private?” Clarke felt all eyes on her. She wished to talk with Lexa but not in front of all these girls, particularly Costia.

“Yes. Follow me.” Lexa jumped off the stage, she hung a towel on the nape of her neck and moved to the back office. Clarke followed and immediately the girls returned to their practice.

 

Clarke followed Lexa until they reached the physiotherapy room. Lexa opened the door, Clarke entered behind her and shut the door.

Lexa was giving her back to Clarke, and Clarke could only beg for Lexa to look at her. Lexa was tense, if Clarke could tell by the rigidity of her back and her closed fists.

“Lexa, I am sorry. I should’ve been honest with my mom.”

“Yes you should have, but you weren’t.” Lexa faced Clarke. Her frustration could be noticed by the little frown she sported and the clench of her jaw. Lexa was pretty pissed, even though her body language didn’t show it, but Clarke knew her. Lexa’s eyes betrayed her, she could lie and fool everyone with her cold demeanor but those green eyes couldn’t hide from Clarke’s scrutiny. They always became dark in Clarke’s presence, always the blackness of her pupil engulfing the emerald green of her eyes.

“Do you mind my work?” Lexa asked.

“No.” Clarke answered fast, sure of her answer.

“But you feel shame.”

“I was afraid of my mom’s reaction. She definitely didn’t expect her daughter to date a stripper. But no, I am not ashamed of what you do.” Clarke took a tentative step towards Lexa.

“Clarke, this is what I do to survive. If you can’t accept that part of my life then we better end things now.”

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

Lexa hesitated, those words hit her hard. Lexa deserved so much more than being stuck at a strip club. Clarke wanted to give her the whole world but that wasn’t going to happen if Lexa couldn’t believe that she deserved it too.

“Maybe we do.” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face and kissed her, softly as always, gentle with the blonde. This is all Clarke wanted, for Lexa to believe she deserved more. The tricky situation was how to make it work for both of them.

Lexa changed the angle of the kiss, boop her nose like a sweet puppy and pulled from Clarke’s waist, keeping her close to her sweaty body.

Clarke moved her hands to rake them through Lexa’s chestnut hair. Her lips moving over Lexa, tasting the chapped lips of the woman who made her dizzy.

Lexa pulled apart, breaking the kiss, eyes over Clarke, looking at her with so much passion and desire. “I have to finish my practice.” Clarke smiled and kissed her neck, then she bit her earlobe. Lexa moaned, “I’m serious, Clarke.” Her voice husky.

Clarke chuckled, “fine, I’ll let you go for now, but I’m taking you out as soon as you’re done.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek and then pecked her lips.

“Okay.” Lexa smiled before leaving Clarke.

 

Clarke came out of the physiotherapy room to wait for Lexa, when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her against a wall.

“You again!”

“Anya!”

“Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass, Clarke? What is it that you don’t get about keeping your hands away from my sister?” Anya had her shirt fisted in her hands, her eyes were on Clarke, she was keeping her tone low, obviously avoiding calling the attention of Lexa who was busy with her friends.

“I told you, I’m not leaving her unless she says so.” Clarke held Anya’s stare.

“You are being a selfish bitch. You know Lexa doesn’t stand a chance in your world. You know she doesn’t fit and yet, here you are, making my idiotic sister fall in love with you.”

“Anya, I swear I mean no harm. I want her to be happy. Why is it so hard for you and everyone else to get that I care for her deeply?”

Anya squeezed harder, lifting Clarke one inch from the floor. “Stop fooling yourself. This is not a fairytale. The knight in shining armor won’t come and rescue the poor girl. Lexa needs an equal, not a rich princess that could never understand her!”

“Someone like Costia?” Clarke pushed Anya away from her.

“Yes.” Anya smirked, “you might be what Lexa wants, but Costia is what Lexa

needs.” And with that Anya walked away, leaving Clarke to her endeavors.

 

Clarke was very pissed but those words kept ringing in her head. She sat at the bar where Lincoln was cleaning the glassware while she waited for Lexa to finish her practice. Clarke was upset and needed to clear her mind. Lexa was practicing hard and she needed to get back to her upbeat persona before Lexa noticed something had bothered her.

“Here you go.” Lincoln poured an amber liquid in a shot glass.

Clarke looked at the tall tattooed handsome man with his 5 o’clock shadow. Lincoln was a sweet guy and Clarke was happy for Octavia, who found someone who cared for her.

“It’s on the house.”

“Thanks.” Clarke took the glass and gulped it down. “Uff!” Clarke shook her head feeling the burn in her throat. “I needed that.” Clarke smiled at Lincoln in gratitude.

“I can tell. I’m a black man dating a white girl, trust me Clarke, I get the looks too. But don’t let the judgment of people stop you. You’re good for Lexa. I can tell how much you have influenced her. Don’t give up on her, Clarke.”

“I won’t.”

“Hey Clarke.” Lexa interrupted the conversation after she was done, eyes scanning Clarke. “Is there a problem?”

“No, not at all. I was chatting here with Lincoln. You ready?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go.”

_________________

Lexa and Clarke walked hand in hand through the Washington Zoo. This was the best option that Clarke came up with that seemed reasonable and relaxing.

“Oh my gosh, that is so cute.” Clarke pointed at the lion cubs.

Lexa smiled, “you look like that one.” Lexa pointed to the tiny cub near its mother.

“What? Are you serious? That baby lion looks so pissed off.”

Lexa nodded. “Exactly. That is your piss off face, Clarke.”

Clarke jabbed Lexa in the arm. “Very funny, now you’ve developed a sense of humor?”

Lexa rewarded her with a big smile, one that was reserved only for her.

 

The two girls toured around the zoo observing all the animals, from birds to cats and reptiles. They reached the apes section, and Clarke decided that it was a good spot for a selfie.

“Come on! A selfie won’t kill you, Lexa. Just one. I mean I’d like to have my girlfriend’s face as my lock screen.”

Lexa sighed. “You aren’t going to give up, are you?”

Clarke shook her head. “Nope. Come ‘ere. Look at the gorilla, he’s even posing to make a nice pic.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever you say.”

Lexa joined Clarke, the blonde extended her arm and pressed the cellphone’s camera button.

“I won’t bite Lexa, get closer, be crazy!” Clarke changed the filter and pressed again the camera button.

Clarke checked the photos and she squealed. “Lexa you are so fucking hot. And holy shit, look at this. I am uploading this to Instagram.”

“Won’t your mother be mad?” Lexa took Clarke’s hand and pulled her against her anatomy. Pressing their bodies together.

“I don’t care what my mom says.”

Lexa lifted her chin up, staring at Clarke with concern. “You two are very close, I don’t want you to ruin that relationship because of me.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheek. “This is about her being an asshole. You’ve nothing to do with this. She’ll come to terms about us and if she doesn’t then I’ll move out.”

“She’s your mom, Clarke. I wish I had mine, so try to fix things up.”

“My mom is being a bitch, trust me no one needs a mom like that.”

Thunder was heard in the distance over the grey skies and seconds later it started to rain, catching the two lovebirds in the middle of the zoo.

Clarke and Lexa ran back to the car, both drenched and freezing.

“Great timing for this damn rain.” Clarke stuttered. Their clothes were completely wet.

“Let’s go to my place, we can warm up a bit and drink some coffee.” Lexa suggested.

 

Clarke drove to the familiar address, moving with caution under the heavy rain. She was shaking a bit, even with the heat on. Lexa covered her hand providing some warmth. After a good amount of time, Clarke parked outside the complex. Both ran under the building’s roof and Clarke activated the car’s alarm.

Lexa went upstairs first and opened the door to her place allowing Clarke to enter the small apartment.

“Don’t worry, Anya is working so she won’t punch you in the face.” Lexa went inside her bedroom and took out a pair of towels.

“Ha ha, you are so funny today.” Clarke accepted the towel Lexa offered and dried her hair. Clarke moved to the small kitchen table where she pulled a chair and sat, observing the tiny apartment. It was simple and organized. It was so Lexa, as Clarke noticed. Everything was in its place.

Lexa took off her jacket and hung it behind the door. “Give me yours, Clarke.” The blonde complied and gave her jacket to the dancer. Lexa hung it in the balcony window allowing it to drip the water outside.

Clarke enveloped herself in the towel, Lexa joined Clarke at the small table. “You okay?”

“Yep, just drenched and a bit cold, but the towel is helping.”

“Let me get you dry clothes.” Lexa went back into her room and brought Clarke a t-shirt and pants. “You can change in the bathroom and I’ll make some coffee.”

 

Minutes later Clarke came back to the kitchen wearing Lexa’s clothes. The shirt and pants were two inches too big for Clarke. But it was comfortable, and the smell of soap and Lexa made Clarke tingle inside. Clarke found Lexa at the kitchen stove. From where she was she could see parts of Lexa’s back tattoo through her tank top.

“Hey, I made some coffee. Would you like some sugar?” Lexa put two cups on the small table.

“Two sugars please and if you have non-fat milk, that too.” Clarke sat on the wooden chair.

Lexa arched her brow. “Sorry your majesty, we don’t have non-fat milk for you, however if you give me ten minutes I could go fetch some for her highness.” Lexa bowed mockingly at Clarke.

Clarke laughed. “Okay got it, sarcasm queen. Sorry. Black is good.”

The two girls warmed up with the coffee, it felt strong on her palate but the warmth gave her comfort. Lexa made interesting conversation, Clarke realized that they couldn’t get more domestic than this. She thought about doing this every day. Spending her days with Lexa in a kitchen, just talking and not worrying about anything else in the world. Simply sharing a cup of coffee with the woman she...

“Oh shit.”

“What?” Lexa quirked her eyebrow, confusion in her features.

“I um, nothing, it’s still a bit chilly.”

“Yeah sorry about that, the heater is not working properly. Come.” Lexa invited Clarke to sit in her lap. “I will provide you more warmth.”

Clarke sat on top of Lexa and the brunette surrounded her with her arms, rubbing Clarke’s arms providing enough heat to calm her shaking generated not by the cold but by a realization. A huge one.

 

Clarke moved her body to face Lexa. “Maybe if I just remove this.” Clarke lifted her cotton shirt and threw it on the floor. Lexa’s eyes immediately traveled to her boobs covered by a colorful bra, the thirst in her look was real. Clarke cupped her chin and kissed Lexa, her tongue sliding  over her lower lip begging for entrance. Lexa opened up letting her tongue meet Clarke’s.

Lexa pulled apart. “Clarke.” The name came out as husky, a low growl begging for mercy.

“I want you.”

Lexa eyed Clarke, her eyes were so dark, the need and the lust were overcoming her senses and Lexa needed control. Clarke made her lose it.

“Is this what you want?” Lexa asked. Her hands were tracing Clarke’s soft back, feeling how smooth it was. Her chest was rising up and down in fast movements, the anticipation killing her. But Lexa needed to be sure this was what Clarke wanted. She needed to hear Clarke say it loud and clear. Lexa dreamt of this moment for so long, she had been thirsty for Clarke Griffin since she saw the blonde in class and now being in this position was difficult for Lexa. She wanted to allow Clarke the freedom to decide without any pressure on her part.

“Yes.” Clarke traced Lexa’s lips with her index finger. Actually, Clarke wanted more than just Lexa’s body, she wanted it all – body and soul. For now she could take this.

Lexa moved to the crook of Clarke’s neck, where she kissed her nibbling the skin, leaving reddish smudges that were going to bruise later.

Lexa kept tracing the soft skin; her control was slipping and fast. The throbbing between her legs claiming attention, it was becoming painful.

Then she pulled Clarke’s face to her and crushed her lips, this time rougher, hungrier. Clarke responded with the same eagerness and kissed her harder, biting her lip, drawing a bit of blood.

The dancer pulled back, a savage beast was about to be unleashed and Lexa was still fighting for control. Lexa gulped down the lump in her throat, her sanity was about to be gone. She was drowning in lust and passion and love. Clarke had consented, and yet, Lexa was still fighting her primal urge.

Clarke didn’t allow Lexa to think anymore and pulled her back into a fierce kiss, and the brunette let go of all control. She stood up lifting Clarke with her arms and pushed her over the kitchen table. There, Lexa stood between her legs and kissed Clarke’s torso, ravaging her with hot wet kisses. Clarke responded arching her back, as Lexa moved her hands all over the soft skin kissing every spot, getting to know her likes and dislikes.

Clarke pulled on the hem of Lexa’s shirt to bring her face close to her and kissed her again, drowning in her mouth. Clarke quickly removed her bra, tossing it aside. Lexa took one moment to appreciate her gorgeous breasts; the pink nipples erect waiting for attention. She was in awe of the beauty of the blonde. Lexa was stunned by it, memorizing the view.

Lexa didn’t wait any longer and took one breast in her mouth, Clarke whimpered, throwing her head back. Lexa sucked and rolled her tongue around the sensitive spot and then went back to Clarke’s mouth, her hands cupping the breasts. Clarke fumbled with the button of her jeans, Lexa helped Clarke and as soon as Clarke unzipped them Lexa helped her pull them off. Her panties followed after.

 

Thunder kept roaring and the rain kept falling, lightning illuminating the dim lit kitchen while the water hitting the roof muffled Clarke’s moans.

Lexa rushed to give attention to the area between Clarke’s thighs, teasing her, while Clarke pleaded for her touch between her legs. Lexa snaked her arms around Clarke’s waist and pressed her body closer, driving Clarke insane with her touch.

“Lexa please.” Clarke bit her lip, like a seductress luring her lover.

Lexa took a step back, her breaths were ragged, her clothes felt so heavy she needed to get rid of them asap.

“Not here. Bed.” Lexa groaned and kissed Clarke while lifting her up from the table. Clarke entangled her legs around Lexa’s waist, kind of impressed with the raw strength of the dancer. Lexa carried her to her bedroom and dropped her with care.

“You’re so beautiful.” Lexa was breathless, and seeing Clarke in her bed was the biggest turn on ever. A fantasy come true.

Lexa started to fumble with her clothes, but Clarke stopped her. “Let me. You must be tired of stripping, let me do it for you.” Clarke kneeled on the bed and pulled Lexa’s shirt. Lexa lifted her arms allowing Clarke to get rid of the top. Next she untied Lexa’s sweatpants and removed them, dropping kisses over her tanned skin, Clarke unclasped her bra with mastery and pulled Lexa to the bed. Lexa kicked off her boots and was on top of Clarke.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheek, looking at her beautiful face. They kissed taking their time, letting the warmth of their bodies seep through their cold skin. Lexa positioned her body between Clarke’s legs and started to grind her. Clarke moaned, feeling the friction between their bodies that was driving her insane. Lexa clasped Clarke’s hand while she kept her rhythm, sliding over the wetness flooding from Clarke’s cunt.

“Lexa, stop teasing!” Clarke snapped. She entangled her fingers around the waistband of Lexa’s underwear and pulled down the wet fabric, liberating Lexa from her last piece of clothing.

 

Lexa smirked, enjoying Clarke’s reaction to her ministrations. The emerald-eye beauty traced her fingers around the wet folds of skin, Clarke trembled in anticipation, her eyes fixed on what Lexa was doing. Lexa wanted to make this memorable and she was going to take her time.

Lexa went down on Clarke, swiping her tongue over her clit, the bundle of nerves stimulated to the max. Clarke moaned and whimpered, rocking her hips desperate for release. Lexa took her goddamn time, suckling and softly biting the tender skin. When Clarke came for the first time her body shook with such force that Lexa couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction of her achievement. Then, she got back to work. Her fingers slid easily inside Clarke, one, two, three fingers thrusting the channel of the blonde and Clarke was holding onto the blankets of the bed, anchoring herself before she went mad. The muscles contracted after Lexa increased her pace and drove Clarke to infinity and beyond.

But enough of Lexa being in control, Clarke pushed her body up and rolled their bodies around, leaving Lexa wide eyed.

“Asshole.” Clarke uttered, and she started to ride Lexa’s fingers, desperate to reach climax again. She impaled her hips up and down Lexa’s fingers faster and faster. Lexa cupped Clarke’s breasts, while she lost herself in the most gorgeous sight she had ever witnessed in her short life - Clarke, drenched in sweat with her blonde curls loose bouncing on top of her. What a time to be alive.

Clarke came two minutes later and she collapsed on top of Lexa, breathing hard and she was so spent. “You are such a tease, Commander.”

“It takes as long as it takes, Clarke.” Lexa kissed her forehead, enveloping Clarke’s waist with her arms giving her warmth. “If you were patient, I would have provided more pleasure.”

“You are full of yourself, Lexa.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s jawline.

“Not at all, I simply know how to please a woman.” Lexa smiled.

“Then I better step up my game.” Clarke smirked and this time the one who ended up gasping for air and crying in pleasure was Lexa.

 

It’s been god knows how many hours. The rain had subsided and became lighter. Lexa and Clarke were sleeping in the small bed covered in blankets and entangled in each other. Both women tired from their lovemaking session. The first one to wake up in the middle of the night was Clarke, she was thirsty, Lexa was spooning her and Clarke had to move away from Lexa’s hold slowly to avoid waking her up. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the girl on the other side of the bed.

Lexa was so gorgeous while she slept, the brunette rolled around to the other side of the bed, giving Clarke her back. Only then could Clarke really appreciate the tattoo on the back of the dancer. Several symbols carved along her spine and flames emerging from them. However, Clarke noticed something else, scars. Clarke squinted her eyes in the dark trying to see them with more clarity. Lexa had a long thin gash over her right scapula, and another on her ribs, behind her left shoulder there were round ones, bullets? Clarke thought about the juvie record her mother talked about and correlated it with the fight story Lexa told her about.

Clarke had to wonder what kind of violence she had gone through. And yet, after being touched by this woman Clarke knew there was nothing to fear from her. Lexa was so gentle, even though sometimes she could see sparks of a hidden wolf in those jade eyes, biting her neck and scratching her back, Lexa was the kindest with her.

 

Clarke tiptoed her way to the kitchen making sure to be silent, the boards creaked a bit, but it seemed Lexa was too deep asleep to notice anything at the moment. Clarke found her undies and put on the t-shirt she borrowed from Lexa. She took the water pitcher out of the fridge and poured herself a glass of water.

Clarke sat on the wooden chair and drank. “Shit.” Clarke was still in disbelief, how could this happen so fast? Clarke was not just attracted to her girlfriend, it wasn’t about caring for Lexa, she was deeply, madly in love with her. In freaking love with ‘Mount Weather’s’ number one stripper.

“Shit.”

_______________

The afternoon was cloudy, the wind felt cold against her skin but she was comfortable. Clarke was finishing her lunch in a local restaurant near campus with her friends, Raven and Octavia. They were talking about their plans for the weekend. But Clarke couldn’t be more far away; her memories were flooded of Lexa. Of her touch on her skin, of her lips running through her body, her kisses burning her alive.

“We should go to the ‘Dropship.’  It’s the best nightclub in town.” Raven suggested.

“Yes, we can go to the VIP area and hang there with the guys.” Octavia took a sip of her shake, watching Clarke.

“Alright, sounds good. Tomorrow at 9?” Clarke asked.

“Yep. Should we ride together?” Raven was chewing her fries but seeing that Clarke suddenly disconnected she snapped her fingers at her. “Hello?”

“OH! Now I see.” Octavia spotted in the distance the stripper. She came to the table to greet the trio.

“Hey.” Lexa was wearing her glasses, and had a book tucked under her arm. She was probably heading to campus.

“Hi.” Clarke smiled, her cheeks turned pink at the sight. She stood up from the table and pulled Lexa away to keep their conversation private.

Raven and Octavia were watching the weird exchange. How awkward the two of them were: the sloppy smile on Clarke’s face, Lexa’s heart eyes towards Clarke.

“We’re going clubbing tomorrow. Come with me.” Clarke extended the invitation.

“If I finish my research then yes. I’ll be there.” Lexa gave a small smile.

“Great. So um, text me when you’re ready for me to pick you up.” Clarke was glowing, it was ridiculous. Raven rolled her eyes at the disgusting exchange.

“Sure. See you later.” Lexa waved goodbye to the girls on the table and walked away.

 

Clarke returned to the table and sat with the biggest grin on her face.

“OH. MY. GOD! You did it!” Octavia started laugh.

“What?” Clarke frowned looking confused at her friend.

“It is official Raven, I won.” Octavia smiled proudly.

“Again with the bet?” Clarke rolled her eyes and drank her soda.

“Holy shit. It’s true!” Raven was mouth-opened. “You totally did it. You have that face, that huge satisfaction grin from getting banged really good.”

Clarke became redder the more her friends pointed out the obvious. She was so damn happy that she couldn’t stop smiling and grinning like an idiot.

“Okay you two stop that, geez.”

Octavia kept laughing. “Clarke you are so whipped, your face says it all.”

Clarke stood up from her table. “Look, I’m not going to talk about what I did or didn’t do with Lexa. I’ll pay the check.”

“She totally did it. No wonder her head is in the stratosphere.” Octavia finished her shake and picked up her things.

“Yes. I’m glad for her. That moron looks so happy it’s disgusting.” Raven followed Octavia. The two girls joined Clarke at the register.

“This is impossible, try again!” Clarke asked the cashier.

The man swiped the platinum card again through the machine.

REJECTED

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Said Clarke to no one.

“What is it?” Raven wondered.

“My card is declined. My mom did this!” Clarke clenched her fists. “I can’t believe it.”

“Hey don’t worry, I’ll pay, chill Clarke. It might be a mistake.” Octavia paid the bill.

“The hell it is!”

 

The girls walked out of the restaurant. Clarke was so furious, this couldn’t be a coincidence. She pulled out her cellphone and made a call.

“You cut me off, didn’t you!” Clarke screamed.

Clarke was pacing like a lion in a cage. Her voice thundering through the busy streets.

“Oh really? So that’s how it’s going to be? You cut me off to keep me away from her. But you know what, mom? You won’t!” Clarke shut down her phone and threw it in her purse.

“Hey there, calm down Clarke. It’s no good to be pissed off. You can’t solve anything like this.” Raven went to her friend and pulled her close.

“My mom is insane. I mean, I still got my dad’s money but that’s for college. I might have to find a job.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Clarke. You still have some savings, right?” Octavia asked.

“Some, but not much. I went on a shopping spree last month. New art supplies. Shit. Mom was my cash source for all that and now I’ve got nothing.” Clarke was frustrated. “I’m not leaving Lexa though, she won’t keep us apart.”

“Abby will understand Clarke. Your mom is really nice and helps people.” Raven pointed out.

“Yeah, but my mom thinks the worst of Lexa right now.”

“Well, tomorrow you’ll have fun so don’t be mad anymore. If you need money O and I have your back.” Raven smiled and hugged her friend.

____________

The music was loud, pumping through the speakers. A mass of bodies dancing under the neon lights. Clarke went with Lexa, but she wasn’t going to tell her about her current dispute with her mother. Lexa was already worried for her relationship with her mother; there was no point in making things worse.

Clarke walked with Lexa to the VIP area holding hands. Lexa was dressed in black jeans and a grey top covered by her leather jacket. Clarke was wearing blue jeans and a white long sleeve shirt that highlighted her cleavage.

 

“There you are!” Raven went to greet Clarke.

“Hey boys, long time no see.” Clarke waved and hugged the two boys who were part of her group of friends, Jasper Jordan and Monty Green. “Boys, meet Lexa.”

“Hello there.” Jasper was going to hug Lexa when Clarke quickly caught his arm. “Don’t do that unless you want to get your head ripped off.” Whispered the blonde into Jasper’s ear.

Lexa nodded. “Nice meeting you.”

The two girls joined the group’s table and started the party.

 

“There ya go, bitches!” Clarke Griffin raised her hand in the air. “No one can take the champion of flip cup, but that’s enough for me.” Clarke slurred.

“Yeah yeah.” Jasper mumbled.

“Sore loser.” Monty joked.

“So are you going to buy the next round or what?” Jasper asked Clarke while he finished his last glass of beer.

“Sorry, can’t. My mom cut me off, so…”

“What?” Lexa asked behind Clarke, she just returned from buying two bottles of beer. “Did she do that?”

Clarke moved away from the table and sat with Lexa where they could speak in private. She clasped Lexa’s hand.

“Yeah, I didn’t want you to know about that. It’s something between my mother and me.”

“Clarke, don’t lie. I know it has to do with me.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face. “My mom is being irrational at the moment. I don’t care if I have to spend the summer working or whatever, I want to be with you. And my mother isn’t going to pull me away from you, okay? So stop worrying and let’s dance!”

 

Lexa danced with Clarke all night long, bodies pressed together.  Lexa held Clarke, both of her hands resting in the blonde’s lower back, eyes glued to the blue of her perfect eyes. Lexa rolled Clarke around and brought her back to her. They danced to all kinds of music, from soft songs to more upbeat ones. And Lexa never missed a beat. She was a truly gifted dancer, Clarke thought.

The music changed again, ‘Elastic Heart’ by Sia started to play. Lexa smiled at Clarke and kissed her, with the melody of the music, her hands started to roam around her back, slipping her hands inside the hem of her shirt, feeling the heat. Clarke anchored herself on Lexa’s shoulders, kissing back the dexterous dancer. Clarke felt like she was flying. The two bodies moving as one, side to side, Clarke rested her head in Lexa’s crook of her neck, letting Lexa move her, the two lost in one another.

Clarke smiled, how fitting it was, her dancer had thick skin and a very elastic heart. Clarke lifted her gaze to find the eyes that made her melt into a puddle of love looking back at her. Lexa smiled back at Clarke, leaned in for a chaste kiss, but Clarke wanted more, and went for a deep kiss instead.

“Okay you two get a room.” Raven moved through the crowd, she was carrying a couple of bottles. “Moonshine time! So back off of each other for a minute and gimme a hand here.”

Clarke and Lexa helped Raven bringing the bottles back to their table on the VIP area.

 

“Alright time to play. Who wants to do body shots?” Jasper raised his glass and gulped down his glass.

“Alright. You’re going down.” Clarke rolled her sleeves ready to take the challenge.

However, the fun was quickly interrupted by none other that John Murphy.

“Well well well you are having fun and you don’t invite.” Murphy walked to their table and served himself a shot of booze.

“Murphy get the hell away from us.” Octavia took the bottle away from the dark-haired boy.

“Hey Finn, look who’s here!” Murphy called. Later, Finn came to where the group was hanging.

“Clarke,” Finn said in surprise. He gave her a shy smile.

Lexa took a step forward, right in front of Clarke, eyes cold, assessing the situation.

“Finn, why don’t you take Murphy away, he’s wasted.” Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers.

“Yeah sure, sorry to disturb. Um, good to see you.”

Clarke remained silent.

Murphy pulled away from Finn’s grasp and whistled. “So this is the so-called whore you’re dating?”

Clarke clenched her jaw. “Murphy, back off.” The warning clear in her voice.

“Yeah yeah, I hear ya.” Murphy stumbled upon Clarke, “I’ve seen her pussy. She dances, right? Wanna know what I’d do to her, Clarke?”

Clarke shoved Murphy hard, he was laughing while he stumbled over the table. Lexa pulled Clarke to her. “Don’t mind him, Clarke. He’s just a drunkard.”

Murphy kept laughing, while Finn pulled him up, “Let’s go man.”

“Finn, bro, tell this bitch how you fucked Clarke real good.” Murphy escaped Finn’s grasp and clasped Clarke’s jaw, digging his nails in her face. Lexa immediately reacted and she elbowed him first, he released his grip, next thing she did was throw Murphy over the table. Lexa jumped on top of it and punched the living hell out of Murphy.

“Lexa NO!” Clarke cried. The woman was ferocious; Clarke had never seen so much anger and violence in Lexa. But Clarke knew Lexa had a violent past, which she was getting glimpses of at the moment.

 

A bar fight erupted, chairs flew everywhere, everyone bolted, except for the blonde trying to get her girlfriend back.

“Come on Clarke!!!” Raven called her friend in the mid of the fighting.

“You go guys, I’ll take Lexa. GO!” Clarke ducked under a table to avoid being hit and kept moving to where Lexa was.

Lexa was going to kill Murphy, it was a fact. Her knuckles were bloody with his blood.

Murphy pushed Lexa with his knee and she fell. She was hit by a flying chair and Murphy took the opportunity to punch her, but Lexa was made of steel. She recovered quickly and kicked him, she shoved him against the wall and punched him again and again and again.

“Lexa, stop! You’re going to kill him.” Clarke was desperate to make Lexa snap out of it. “STOP!” Only then Lexa stopped, nonetheless she got immediately shoved against a table by one of the security guys.

“Come on, we have to get the hell out of here.” Clarke pulled Lexa away from the security, ran out of the club and Clarke drove as fast as she could away from the whole disaster.

 

Clarke drove Lexa back home, and took care of her wounds.

Lexa was still bathed in Murphy’s blood and her own. Clarke tried to clean her face with a wet cloth, stopping the blood seeping from her eyebrow and busted lip.

Lexa remained silent, not speaking a word. “How does it feel?” Clarke cupped her face and kissed the corner of her mouth.

“It hurts.” The dancer said unfazed.

Clarke sat beside Lexa once she did her best to clean the wounds and leaned into her shoulder. She tried to muffle a yawn but she was tired and the liquor was starting to hit her. Lexa covered her with her arm.

“Try to sleep.” Lexa said, she caressed Clarke’s back and scalp with soothing movements, trying to keep Clarke relaxed. She sensed how the blonde’s tension started to ease until Lexa felt her full weight, meaning she had fallen asleep.

Lexa sighed, things with Clarke Griffin couldn’t be more complicated, but how it was worth it. She carried Clarke back to her bed and let her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we are at the point of no return people. Two more chapters to conclude this fic. Hope you are enjoying the story so far. As usual I can't wait to hear from you.
> 
> Cheers.
> 
> UPDATE: I lied, shit happened and now the thing is going to be 10 chapters long, so you are in the mid of this story, god help us all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've been walking down this road some time  
> And you love, and you love me good, no lie  
> But there's something behind those eyes, those eyes  
> That you can't, that you can't disguise, disguise
> 
> Gwen Stefani - Baby Don't Lie

Lexa was hurting. Her body had been through worse but that wasn’t what bothered her, it was the fact that Clarke saw the old Lexa. The one who demanded respect and instilled fear, the girl who totally could kill a man.

 

It was way past midnight.  She had stayed awake watching over Clarke, not that the blonde needed it, but because Lexa felt guilty. She fucked up big time, but she didn’t care if that meant Clarke was okay. This woman who was asleep in her bed had made her feel things that no one had made her feel - not even Costia.

Lexa headed to the restroom and removed her bloody clothes, she washed her face, removing the blood from her wounds.

“Fuck.” Her back was going to bruise and badly. And that was not good for a business based on showing off your body. She dressed in a sweatshirt and boxers and sat again. Lexa’s lids started to close, she was in pain and her body was shutting down to heal so she let the heaviness take her and fell asleep in the chair.

 

_Lexa sat on the edge of the bed, she turned around to find a sleeping girl in the bed. Lexa was feeling the weight of her stupidity. She picked up her clothes from the floor and walked out of the place where she had spent the night._

_She made it back to her place, dragging her boots over the pavement and eyes bloodshot.  An emptiness followed her. Spring had brought beautiful flowers to life and Lexa was so close to graduation in the summer, the question was to do what? And so in the last couple of days she started a downward spiral, afraid of facing her future, of taking responsibility. She was an honor roll student which was ironic since she also had the worst disciplinary record. She found school easy, one reason why_ _she spent her days wasting her life with fights, booze and anything else that released her anger and frustration of having such a shitty life. Her parents were dead and all she had left was Anya and Costia._

_“There you are! Lexa, I have been looking for you!” Costia ran to her and wrapped her in her arms._

_Lexa felt shame, why was Costia so amazing to her? She really didn’t deserve that kind of attention, much less her friendship._

_“Why do you keep doing this, Lexa?” Costia pulled from the embrace to look at her friend’s face._

_“Costia, why do you waste your time with me? I told you I’m not good for anyone. If you stay by my side nothing good will come from it.” Lexa kept moving back into her apartment._

 

_Once inside she removed her jacket, Costia gasped when she saw the bruise on her ribcage, the scratch marks on her back. Costia went into the bathroom to look for the first aid kit. “Sit.” Costia put the box on the table and started to prepare the meds to clean Lexa’s wounds._

_“You’re an idiot. Anya is busting her ass and this is how you repay her? You have missed school these days for what? Sex and alcohol?”_

_Lexa bowed her head, she felt dirty when Costia looked at her. “Costia, you have a future. Don’t waste it with me.”_

_“Don’t insult me, Lexa. You are way smarter than that. And I can make my own choices. You have a future you stupid asshole. You could get out of here and end this cycle of poverty and hate. You just don’t want to accept the huge responsibility.” Costia placed a wet cloth over her ribs, Lexa hissed a bit, clenching her jaw while Costia removed the bloodstain._

_“I can’t. “_

_“Yes, you can! You won’t get into college whining and fighting with crime lords. Take your life back in your hands. I believe in you, Lexa. If you could only see it.”_

_Lexa looked at Costia, she had always wondered why Costia had stayed by her side since they met last fall. Costia was a good student, decent and caring human being._

_“I know you care for me, you have been a good friend to me and I—“_

_“I love you, you blind dumbass!” Costia wrapped Lexa’s ribcage with gauze, then she cupped her face and look into her eyes. “I love you, Lexa. I wish you could see how much I feel for you, to be more than friends with you. I love you.”_

_Lexa looked into her brown eyes, she gulped down and caressed Costia’s cheek tenderly. “I don’t deserve your love. How can I repay you when all I do is ruin things?”_

_“I’m not asking for anything back. I yearn for you to trust me, to confide in me. But you are closed off, to both your sister and me. You don’t let us help you. It’s frustrating but I can’t give up on you, because I love you.” Costia leaned and kissed Lexa, the lips feeling so soft and warm but so foreign at the same time. Lexa fell into the kiss, kissing Costia with care, allowing herself to feel something, but in the end she was going to hurt her, Lexa knew it and she broke the kiss._

_“Costia, you mean the world to me but I can’t, not like this, not when I’m a mess. I don’t want to turn you into one more in my list of ex-lovers.”_

_Costia laughed. “Wow you’re so humble.”_

_Lexa smiled, and kissed the corner of her lips. “I don’t want to ruin this friendship.”_

_“I know. You won’t ever lose me, I just want you to be happy. To succeed no matter what. Even if it means letting you go find another suitable girl that makes you smile.”_

_Lexa chuckled. “Now you are fantasizing. That’s never going to happen, Costia. To find someone to tame this heart? Nah, that just happens in movies.”_

_“You’re good-looking and you know it, asshole. Now if only you got your smart ass back in the game you’ll see that you can do anything you want. Start going back in school and get that damn diploma.”_

_“Fine. I guess you’re right, nothing good can happen if I stay in this hell of a life I have. I promise you, Costia. I’ll be better.”_

_Costia kissed Lexa’s cheek. “You will. And maybe someday you can look back and be proud of who you have become. You’ll be great, I know it.”_

 

_And Lexa did try, her grades weren’t bad at all, it was just her reckless behavior that had gotten her into trouble during her high school years. People feared her. But she let go of that bad life; she focused only on being the best and got her diploma. Then she realized that she really could do this, she just needed to fight for it, to earn it. However, she also found that not all dreams come true. She wanted to become a dancer, she was really good but her bank account wasn’t. So she had to give up the dream to enroll in dance school   If she had gone to dance school she would  probably be drowning in debt ._

_Lexa looked for alternatives and she got a scholarship for the political science area and since that’s what life gave her she took the offer. Working at bars and coffee shops didn’t help at all with the expenses though. Money was hard to earn and the tips sucked big time, she still had to pay half her tuition and she was already in debt.  Thanks to the support of her sister and her crappy jobs, she could pay most of it.  Nonetheless, it was becoming hard to survive with what she made. The shifts were messing with her and the study hours were draining her._

 

_“We’re behind on rent again.” Lexa commented._

_Anya served dinner. She set the table and sat to eat. There wasn’t much food but at least they could have a warm meal most days._

_“I know, I found a new job. This might improve things for us a bit.”_

_“I’m sorry Anya, I wish I could be of more help. But this damn job is not enough, college is taking every single penny.”_

_“I want you to pay your studies Lexa. Let me handle the rest.”_

_“So where is this new job?”_

_“Mount Weather.”_

_Lexa arched her brows. “That’s a gentleman’s club.”_

_“Yeah, but hunger doesn’t give a damn where we get money. Now eat your food before it gets cold.”_

 

_Money was a big issue, however Lexa noted that things weren’t so bad now that Anya had a new job. And yet, her job didn’t allow her to help much with other expenses._

_It was now the beginning of the new semester. She sat in a chair that was as far away from the rest of the rich college kids and waited for the professor to finish preparing the material for her new Psychology class. She was burdened looking for a new job, she needed the money now more than ever, this career was still expensive, even with her scholarship._

_She took out her books and notepad, preparing for class when she heard  laughter that was kind of loud for this time of day, bothering the rest of the class. She turned around looking for the source, and when she spotted it her heart stopped for a second._

_It was a blonde girl who was seated in the upper rows of the auditorium. Her eyes were blue as the sky, and she had a cute chin dimple. The way she smiled made Lexa feel like she had been struck by lightning. Her voice was like hearing angels sing and she was taken by it. And it was clear she was filthy rich - her clothes, her iPhone, her jewelry, everything screamed rich girl. Lexa sighed; obviously no one like her would set eyes on a girl like Lexa._

_“Excuse me, miss…?” The professor brought back Lexa to the real world._

_“Griffin. Clarke Griffin.” The blonde said and Lexa memorized the name, carving it in her memory._

_“Miss Griffin, class is about to start could you please take your conversation elsewhere or cut it out?”_

_“Oh yes, sorry. Will do, professor.” Clarke put the phone back in her pocket and sat._

 

_“And what happened to you?” Costia met Lexa after class in her apartment. They were having lunch with Anya._

_“Um nothing.” Lexa kept eating her meal._

_“Liar. That face of yours tells me you’re in a galaxy far away. Spit it out. You met someone cute?” Costia insisted._

_“No, it’s just, there is this girl in class.”_

_“Oh, a girl. You talked to her? Maybe if you invite her for a coffee—“_

_“She doesn’t know I exist, let’s leave it at that.” Lexa cut the topic fast._

_“Okay, sensitive topic. Gotcha.” Costia smiled at her friend._

_“I quit the coffee shop.” Lexa stated, Anya immediately look at her sister surprised. “I need more money, so I want you to take me to ‘Mount Weather,’ Anya.”_

_Anya arched her brows. “To strip? Is that what you want?”_

_“We need the cash, you know it. I’m good at dancing, the rest I guess I could get used to.”_

_“Alright, I wish I could do more for you Lexa. But we’re tight and we’re scraping at crumbs.”_

_“You know that you two can always count on me.” Costia reached for Lexa’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Lexa smiled back at her friend._

 

_Lexa sighed and thought about the blonde, Clarke Griffin. Lexa could be thirsty for the blonde, she clearly knew nothing was going to happen between her and Clarke, whether she was a stripper or not. There were other matters that required her attention and if stripping could give her more money to survive then so be it. She made a promise after all to be better, for Costia and Anya._

_She wasn’t going to fail them; after all, victory stands in the back of sacrifice. And by sacrificing her dreams and her huge crush on that rich girl, she could become someone who could take care of her loved ones. Reality was a bitch and Lexa was going to make it her bitch._

 

“Lexa, breakfast’s ready!”

Lexa snapped her eyes open as soon as she heard the woman who had been there for her since she was a child, the one who was family to her, Anya.

Lexa came out of her room, she was in pain after sleeping in the chair but Clarke deserved to sleep comfortably.

“What the actual fuck?” Anya asked as soon as she saw the bruises on Lexa’s face.

“I can explain.” And Lexa did.

Anya stood up and hit the table, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!”

Lexa clenched her jaw, there was nothing she could say to excuse her behavior.

“I told you. That girl was nothing but trouble.”

“This is not Clarke’s fault, it was my actions that caused the fight.”

“The hell it was! If I see that pretentious rich girl I swear—“

“What?” The door opened and Clarke came out of Lexa’s room. “I’m not going to walk away if that’s what you want, Anya.”

“Seriously, where did you find this rich princess? She’s truly annoying.” Anya rolled her eyes and sat to eat.

“Hey Clarke. Would you like to eat?” Lexa smiled, Clarke took the hand that Lexa offered and gave her a morning kiss.

“Oh my god, I’m going to puke. Are you really using sexual innuendos in my face?” Anya almost choked on her spoonful of cereal.

“I only offered breakfast Anya.” Lexa smiled to her sister. Anya rolled her eyes.

“Hey, um, I think we need to disinfect these wounds before anything else.” Clarke said between muffled laughter.

“Very well.” Lexa took her seat waiting for Clarke.

Clarke went to find the first aid kit and set it on the table. Clarke looked at Anya.

“I still don’t like you.” Anya crossed her arms, wanting to erase the smug face Clarke sported. “Now I rather get the hell out of here, I don’t want to see first hand you two getting it on. Eat your food, Lexa.” Anya lifted up from the table, grabbed her jacket and went out of the apartment.

Clarke cleaned the busted eyebrow, after all, Lexa didn’t take care of it, just washed it and the wound was still seeping a bit of blood.

Lexa didn’t even flinch when Clarke used the alcohol. Lexa was so used to the pain and Clarke hurt for her.

 

“You’re all set.”

“About last night, I did what I had to.“

Clarke traced Lexa’s jaw carefully. The purple hue of color was spreading through the magnificent shape of Lexa’s face.  “I’m not judging. I’d probably done the same.”

“Still, it wasn’t pretty. It might have changed the way you think of me.”

“You’re still you.  You’re Lexa. I accept you with your flaws and virtues, not that I condone the violence but you were there for me.”

Lexa smiled, Clarke made her feel so worthy. Clarke was something that she couldn’t have dreamed of even in her wildest dreams.

“Now shall we eat?”

_________________

Lexa had tried her best to hide the bruises with make-up.  Some students probably heard about the altercation at the nightclub and she really preferred to avoid going back in time to high school days when people feared her. Students opened up for her to pass through the crowded halls, it was like she was the owner of the place, and even when it gave her a feeling of superiority, it wasn’t for the right reasons. Lexa had worked hard to leave that life behind. And she really wanted to avoid staining Clarke’s reputation along with hers.

Lexa kept a low profile during the whole day of classes, avoiding public places and finding solace in less crowded ones.

She put on her headphones and started to do her homework before heading to work. She was going to get in trouble with Mr. Wallace. This business depended on looks, and right now Lexa looked like shit, beaten up and exhausted from lack of sleep.

The day was pretty cloudy, it probably was going to rain later in the day, but who really knew. Lexa was walking back to the club, she was short on cash and didn’t even have change to spare on the bus, so she walked.

 

Lexa reached her destination 40 minutes later, the club at this time of day was completely different without its neon lights, the music blasting from the speakers, and the girls dancing over the stage. What a contrast to see.

Lexa reached the locker room, stored her stuff inside and started to change her clothes.

“Hey.”

The familiar voice made Lexa smile, Costia was like her guardian angel.

“Hey.” Lexa put on a red top over her head and pulled it down her torso.

“Anya told me what happened. Why would you fight again?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose, Costia. That stupid kid was hurting Clarke.”

“Clarke is a big girl, she can take care of herself.” Costia reprimanded, she leaned on the locker in front of Lexa, crossed her arms and legs observing her friend.

“I know, but I just reacted. I’ll be more careful.”

Costia moved near Lexa, she took the spot beside her on the bench where she was sitting, tying up her shoes. Costia caressed the bruised jaw, Lexa flinched at the touch.

“You’re going to need a lot of ice.”

“Yeah.”

Costia sighed, the desire to do more for her friend, to be more than just a friend had always been in the back of Costia’s thoughts. Lexa knew that Costia was in love with her, and it killed her not being able to love her back, at least how she wanted. Because Lexa adored Costia, with all her heart, however, it was Clarke who had taken not just her heart but soul.

“How’s the shoulder?” Costia asked, clinical tone in her question.

“It’s bothering me, but it’s not that painful. I got hit with a damn chair so that might be the reason. It should go away soon enough.”

Costia pressed the reddened area with care, feeling the temperature of the muscles with her hand. “There is a lot of inflammation, you shouldn’t even be dancing, Lexa.”

“I can’t stop now, we have the opening show soon.”

“Talk to Indra. I don’t recommend you do anything else, but I know you. You’re stubborn.”

“I will, okay.”

 

Once Lexa was ready she headed to Indra’s office, she knocked on the door and went inside.

“Hey Indra I - oh sorry to interrupt.”

“Lexa, good timing. This is Mr. Dante Wallace’s son, Cage. He’ll take over the administration of the club from now on. He was informing me about several changes.” Indra commented.

“Lexa. Yes of course. I’ve heard a lot about you. In this past six months you have become quite popular in the club.” Cage had dark brown hair with matching dark brown eyes and pale skin.  The man appeared to be in his late 30’s early 40’s if Lexa could take his appearance as a clue. His smile, however, was pretty untrustworthy.

“I’m just doing the best I can, sir.”

“And that’s why I’m aiming for new younger blood in our ranks. You bring that to the table. You have a nice body and the moves. We want ‘Mount Weather’ to evoke those old bordellos.”

“I don’t follow sir.”

“Younger dancers are going to attract more money.”

“Wait, what do you mean? What about Anya?”

“Anya is in her 30’s, so she won’t be useful for the new structure that Mr. Cage is proposing.” Indra said with a stern face.

“We want to be able to offer more for the money, you know? For the VIP private dance, the more they pay, the more mileage they get. And of course, we’re going full nude.”

Lexa couldn’t believe this, if Anya had no job now then it meant she was going to be the only source of income right now. She didn’t like any of this, these were big changes; however, she couldn’t do anything about it. “But the show that your father proposed was more towards entertainment through dancing.”

“Yeah, but my old man doesn’t get the new tendencies, as new administrator I will make sure to offer the ultimate entertainment to our clients. The money you get will double if not triple, unless that’s too complex for you.”

Lexa clenched her jaw. “Not at all, sir.”

“Great, men will pay more to see you naked. Flirt with them and let them open their wallets for you. Guaranteed, Lexa.” Cage smiled.

“Indra, I might need to take some days off, um, I’ll be back in full form for the opening.” Lexa needed to discuss this with Anya, she forgot about the practice and worried for her family. That was the priority right now.

Indra took a look at the bruised jaw of her dancer. “Hope is not because of serious trouble.”

“No, not at all.”

“Alright.”

Lexa nodded, turned around on her heel, but right before she left Cage, he added “Tan your body and trim it down there, you know, we want to offer your best view.”

Lexa didn’t reply to that and walked away. She took deep breaths, this was not something she was going to share with Clarke, she couldn’t. They already had issues with her doing shows, now going full monty was going to create more trouble for them.

 

Lexa packed her things, she was feeling sick now, Cage Wallace gave her the impression of being a very greedy man, who couldn’t care less if he sold his dancers as a product to be consumed. At least Dante treated them like people.

Lexa was sitting on the bench when Gustus came to her side.

“Heard the news of the new guy, I suppose.”

“Yeah, he looks like a douche. Can’t believe they got rid of Anya, that sonofabitch! And the other dancer’s over 30 too?”

“Yeah, this guy is up to something. Whatever happens don’t you worry. I’m not letting those men put a finger on you.” The huge bearded man assured Lexa.

“I know you’ll protect me.” Lexa wasn’t worried about that, and she could take care of them easily if the situation required it. They were in financial trouble already, and now with Anya jobless, their situation was more complicated.

Lexa finished packing her things. “I’ll return in a couple of days, tell Echo and Caris to hold down the fort for me.” Lexa instructed Gustus.

Gustus nodded and went away giving privacy to the dancer.

 

Lexa was frustrated, things could never go her way. For some reason Lexa felt that life was again trying to finish her off. Once she was done she went back home.

 

Lexa reached the apartment; she entered and found Anya in the couch, looking at the receipts and debts with frustration.

“Hey.” Lexa left her backpack over a chair and took the spot beside Anya.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Don’t you have practice?”

“Don’t worry, I got this.”

“I’ll get some kind of job soon, but for now this looks pretty shitty. The landlord is pushing for the rent and now...”

“I told you I got this. If I have to flirt with the whole fucking clientele to get private dances, I’ll do it. No one is evicting us from here.” Lexa took Anya’s hand in hers. It was time that Lexa became the protector of this family, enough giving Anya headaches. She had given so much for her so it was time she did the same.

_______________

Lexa was walking hand with hand with Clarke through campus. She felt so happy being with Clarke - the girl she had been crushing on since psychology class six months ago. This was a sign of destiny for her to not give up, life had been hard on her but when she finally had the chance to be friends with the blonde, she thought that life had took pity on her and she could really be happy. However everything went to shit last week when Anya lost her job. In two days Lexa had the opening night of ‘Mount Weather’ under the new administration, and god knows how many private dances she was going to have to do to be able to fully support her family from now on. Lexa was usually cold and disconnected to do what she had to do, now she needed to connect with the patrons in order to get more money.

 

“Hello? Earth calling Lexa.”

Lexa blinked and saw Clarke passing a hand in front of her face. “Hey, Clarke. Sorry I spaced out.”

“Everything okay? You have been acting weird lately.” Clarke pulled Lexa into an embrace, burying her face in the taller girl’s neck.

“Sure, it’s the finals, they’re coming soon and I’ve got a lot to do.” Lexa hugged Clarke kissing her forehead tenderly.

“You sure? Your eyes tell me differently.”

Lexa gulped down, and gave a nervous chuckle. “Of course it’s the finals Clarke, what else could it be?”

Clarke kissed her collarbone, then her neck. “You’re going to do fine, you’re smart.” Clarke kissed her lips next, “and hot.”

Lexa chuckled.

“I’m alone tonight, mom has been in Annapolis for the past two days, and she might be coming back tomorrow. You can come to my place and watch Netflix.” Clarke smirked.

Lexa pulled a soft blonde strand of hair from Clarke’s face. “You know that we might not even watch Netflix, Clarke.” Lexa kept playing with the soft hair in her hand. “That is a really lame excuse to get laid.”

“Is it working?”

“100 %”

 

The girls fooled around all night, from watching TV to having pillow fights to dancing. Lexa had so much fun with Clarke, it was so rare for her to have time to enjoy life, to stop worrying about payments and debts. But it was inevitable that Lexa had to face her reality soon.

“Sit down.” Clarke pulled a chair from her desk and offered it to Lexa. Lexa frowned but did as told.

“Alright, get ready to be seduced by me.” Clarke moved to her desk and turned on her music player. Music started to play from the speakers she had plugged into the tiny device.

Lexa smiled. “Clarke maybe you should leave the dancing to me.”

“Oh hell, you are challenging my skills, huh?” Clarke started to sway to the move of ‘Baby Don’t Lie.’

Clarke took rhythmical steps towards Lexa. Moving hips in a circular motion. Lexa kept her eyes glued to those wide hips. The beat contagious enough that Lexa was tapping her foot on the floor. Clarke danced with such a happy grin. She positioned herself in front of Lexa, her arms sliding over the legs of the brunette, teasing her. She rolled her hips to the left and right, went down on the floor, going up slowly. She turned around and started to remove her jacket. Her movements kind of exaggerated, making Lexa chuckle. Clarke kept moving her body to the rhythm, shaking her shoulders and moving on top of Lexa.

Lexa was overjoyed to have Clarke dance for her. Clarke did it with such happiness it made her hurt.  What a difference to dance because you simply wanted to rock your body versus having to show your ass because your family needed money. Lexa thought what her life could have been if she had the means to go to dance school; making shows for people, choreographies and so much more.

“Hey, why the sorrowful face? What’s up?” Clarke removed herself from Lexa, kneeled in front of the dancer and took both her hands in hers.

“No no I’m okay. I was enjoying it very much actually.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Really?”

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Clarke.” Lexa came up with another lie, she was getting good at this whole lying business. “But yeah, you suck at dancing.”

Clarke grinned and kissed her chastely on the lips. “Okay, queen of pole dancing and lap dance, what do you suggest we do?”

“Oh I have some ideas.”

 

Clarke was in bed, head on the pillow, arms clutching the blanket while Lexa did magic between her legs. Clarke closed her eyes, letting the pleasure roll over her body. The blonde bit her lip and moaned, “Lexa, oh oh shit.” Her knuckles were white, she was tightening her grip on the blankets while Lexa finished her off. She was damn close, fingers inside her and tongue over her clit, she was gasping for air as Lexa licked, bit and thrusted Clarke with her fingers.

“OH FUCK GODDAMIT YES!”

Lexa felt the clamping around her fingers of tight muscle, the spasm of Clarke’s orgasm rocking her body. Lexa came out of the covers and met Clarke with a kiss smiling at the girl with eyes as blue as the sky.

“You okay?”

“Mhmm, that was good. I don’t think I can move anymore.”

Lexa chuckled. “Come here.” Lexa pulled Clarke into her arms and covered her with the blankets, making sure that the blonde was comfortable and warm. “Sleep.”

Clarke mumbled something and her eyelids started to close. No wonder she was exhausted, they had been at it for a long time and both had her share of orgasms. The peace Lexa felt was an incredible sensation, the mere presence of Clarke made the dancer feel invincible, powerful and cared for. Her heart was beating so damn hard that she was afraid that Clarke might hear. Lexa started to caress her back and play with her hair. She loved playing with Clarke’s hair. The gold between her fingers made her smile. How lucky she was, Clarke Griffin chose to be with her. Lexa kissed Clarke’s head.

“I love you, Clarke.” Lexa whispered. Words that she never thought of saying to anyone, much less to this woman sleeping on her bosom. But they were true. She loved her.

“What?” Clarke opened her eyes filled with tiredness.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

Lexa started to hum a lullaby; she felt how Clarke started to relax in her arms until she was gone into the dream world.

 

If things could be this simple though, being with the person you loved without worrying for anything else, however, her situation was different. She was a lowlife, no matter how hard she tried to change, nothing could erase her past. Lexa did lots of shitty things until she finally opened her eyes and tried to change her destiny. Clarke came from a distinguished family, people with tons of money, what could Lexa offer Clarke? She was barely surviving on her own; her sister needed her now more than ever. The only thing she could give Clarke was her love, and no one survives solely on love.

Lexa knew she was fooling herself.

“Idiot.” Lexa pulled away from Clarke slowly until she reached the edge of the bed, she put  some clothes on and walked out of the bedroom.

 

Lexa walked around the silent halls of the ostentatious apartment, the tiles that she stepped on were more expensive than the boots she left in Clarke’s bedroom. This was how different they were. Lexa looked at this place with strangeness, because she could never belong here. This was a place she couldn’t dare to call home. Ever.

She kept walking silently until she found her way into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out the water pitcher.

“Good evening.”

“Shit.” Lexa fumbled with the pitcher but she kept it safely in her hands. She turned around and found Clarke’s mother leaning on the wall, looking at her.

“Doctor Griffin, I uh, I thought that, well that—“

“Yes, I was in Annapolis but I came back a couple of hours and when I realized that Jackson was nowhere to be seen, plus my daughter’s screams, it became clear what was going on.”

“Oh.” Lexa blushed. She had no idea where to hide, she never felt more exposed in her life than right at this moment.

“Sit down, Lexa.” Abby pulled a chair and sat. Lexa did the same.

“You’re pretty, no wonder my kid likes you so much.” Abby entangled her hands over the table and leaned in. “And you’re a warrior, I can see how hard you’ve been fighting to improve your life and I respect that.”

“But?” Lexa arched her brows, looking intently at the woman in front of her.

Abby smiled. “You’re smart as well, but you know that already. You also know that my daughter is not meant for you, Lexa. Your life had been nothing but trouble, I tended to John Murphy in the hospital, and you beat the crap out of that boy.”

“He deserved it. He messed with Clarke.”

“And I thank you for it, but those are the ways of savages, people without any respect! Imagine Clarke being treated like they did you? Being pointed at because of her relationship with you. You can barely stand on your feet, Lexa. I’ve researched how far in debt you are. Your sister lost her job, what can you offer my daughter when you can’t even take care of your family.”

“Doctor, I think my situation is none of your business.”

“It isn’t, except that my daughter is involved.”

Lexa bit her tongue, the blood filling her mouth. Trying not to scream of anger and impotence, because she knew this was true.

“My daughter might find you fascinating, she’ll try to help you because that’s who she is, she just gives to people, she cares about everyone else first. You have shown Clarke a different perspective of life, one that she had never tasted before. But how long until you put her in danger?”

“I would never do that, not on purpose. I’ll keep her safe.”

“How? Your fists are not enough to keep her warm and with food in her belly. Clarke is a girl who has never gone through all the things you have. She won’t survive and you fathom that.”

“I’ll find a way.”

“Stripping?”

“By any means. I love her, Dr. Griffin I could never do something to hurt her like you did. You cut off her funding? What kind of woman does that to their child?” Lexa look Abby dead in her eye, she meant it.

“One who wants the best for her kid and if I cut her expenses she’ll realize that it’s not easy being without money. I do this because I love my daughter and I want the best for her.”

“And clearly I’m not. I don’t care about your money! I’ve done pretty well without anyone’s help!”

“For sure, and yet, you still struggle to keep afloat. Clarke deserves to live comfortably, to travel, to make her dreams come true. Are you going to stop Clarke from fulfilling her dreams?”

Lexa clenched her fist, she had never felt so broken and speechless before, she couldn’t fight those arguments at all. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want. However, I don’t expect Clarke to back off, but you can. You don’t let your feelings interfere in your decisions, you have attitude and you do what you must.”

“You forgot broke.” Lexa commented with coldness in her response.

Abby chuckled. “I have a deal for you.”

_HEAD 1 – HEART 1_

_____________

Lexa had been evading Clarke, she wouldn’t reply to her texts and much less her calls. Lexa was thinking how to tell Clarke that it was over, that she had to forget about this for her own good. Lexa Woods had to rip her heart out to allow Clarke to have the life she deserved. To become the healer the world needed, not the lover that her heart craved.

 

After her classes were done Lexa went to the club. It was opening night and she had to be there early.

The music was loud, the place was packed, it was clear that Cage Wallace had invested in promotion for the new opening night of ‘Mount Weather.’  It started to get crowded as the hours passed.

Lexa was in her locker room; she had her show in a couple of minutes so she was finishing  her make-up. Black paint surrounding her green eyes filled with determination. Tonight she was going to seduce every single one of those men and make them spend every penny they brought tonight. Her phone vibrated again and she saw the screen, it was Clarke. Lexa’s heart clenched and she pushed the cancel button.

The number of text messages and missed calls was disturbing, but she couldn’t talk to Clarke, she wasn’t ready to face her.

She stood up from her make-up station and walked behind the stage, soon it was going to be  time for her dance.

“You did what you had to.” Lexa repeated before going out on cue with the music.

 

The lights were off and the stage lights turned on, Lexa walked to the beat of ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails. Owning the stage and the looks of the several clients drinking booze and having whatever conversation.

Lexa needed the looks of them right away if she wanted to score big bucks tonight.

Lexa owned the pole, using the stage as her domain, she teased and flirted. Her body moved with ease to the rhythm of the music. She climbed and rolled on the pole, she did an inverted position, she removed pieces of her clothing little by little, the more she removed the more attention she got. Figures.

She went down the stage and approached a businessman who had his eyes on her. Lexa moved sultry, invitingly. Every movement designed to create more interest. She removed her top, still dancing, she moved closer to the tall man with curly dark hair, she got close enough to whisper in his ear. The man chuckled and smiled, Lexa returned the smile flirtatiously, the man caressed her arm and then… disaster.

“HEY! Back the fuck off from my girlfriend!” Clarke came into the club shoving people out of the way, until she was near the client ready to kick his fancy ass. Lexa was startled and took a step back, she looked at Gustus and the man quickly came to take Clarke away.

“The fuck?” Let me go!”

“Take her to the back.” Lexa ordered and went back inside the locker room.

“Gustus, let me go!!!” Clarke kept struggling with the bodyguard until he let her go in the locker room.

 

“I got it from here Gustus. Leave us.” Lexa came back wearing a muscle shirt over her sweaty body, perspiration on her abs and breasts visibly marking the shirt.

“What the fuck Lexa? What was all that? You were flirting with that dickhead!!” Clarke was furious and disconcerted. Completely lost on what was happening.

“Clarke, this is what I do to live. You can’t come to my workplace and make a ruckus!”

“Okay, fine I understand that, what I don’t get is what is going on with you. After you left my place you haven’t been replying to anything. Why?” Clarke raked her hands through her hair, she was mad and frustrated. Desperate to understand what happened.

“I can’t do this. Us, I mean.”

“What? This has to do with my mom, doesn’t it?” Clarke increased the pitch of her voice, her cheeks reddened with her agitation.

“No, it’s this.” Lexa pointed with her hand their surroundings. “You can’t deal with what I do. You don’t understand at all.” Lexa rubbed her eyes and closed her eyes, she was tired and this was going to give her a headache.

“No, Lexa I—“

“Excuse me.” Costia came behind the stage, clearly noticing the tension in the room. “I did some damage control Lexa. You’ve got some private dances booked. Hurry up, yes? The boss wants you to do another round with the girls too.”

Lexa nodded and Costia left the locker room again.

Clarke eyes were wide-open, shock and disgust clear in her face. “What? Hell no!”

“No?” Lexa arched her brows.

“NO! What on earth is going on? Where’s Anya?”

“Without a job, and you’re stopping me from getting money for my family.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, I could help—“

“Clarke, I’m not a charity! You can’t help me every time I have financial issues. Those private dances will put food over my table, and that is a concept you can’t grasp!”

The discussion was heating up, their voices rising; thankfully the music outside was loud.

 

“Sorry if I offended you. You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like to try to live on a day-to-day basis. But I can help, just, let me help, Lexa. And you dancing out there, of course it bothers me, you’re my girlfriend, how do you expect me to feel when you’re showing your assets to random guys!”

“I’m not your property, Clarke. I thought you’d be different.” Lexa laughed bitterly, “At least you got a lap dance and a fuck for free.”

_SLAP!_

Lexa’s face twisted with the hit, her cheek was red where the hand slapped her. Lexa didn’t retort or say anything. She had it coming.

“Don’t say that! You’re not like this.” Clarke breathed in and out, her lips trembled, she shook her head not quite believing what was happening. “You don’t have to do this. Please.” Clarke’s voice turned into a whisper, her eyes filled with tears threatening to get loose.

Lexa gulped down the lump in her throat, she was conflicted, hurting inside for doing this to Clarke. “I’m sorry Clarke.” Lexa turned on her heel ready to get back to work; she took one, two, three steps when Clarke shouted.

“I LOVE YOU!!!”

Lexa stopped but she didn’t turn her back or else she was going to break.

“Please, don’t do it.” Clarke begged.

“No Clarke, you love an ideal of me. A girl that doesn’t exist but in your imagination. This. This is what I am. A stripper.”

Lexa moved behind the curtain disappearing from Clarke’s sight.

Two hearts broken tonight.

_HEAD 2 - HEART 1_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is when the real story begins. Grab your sits cos it's time to shake things up a bit. If you're really liking the thing pls make sure to let your friends know about this, cos the more the merrier ;)
> 
> As usual drop your q's and comments here or if you prefer talk to me anytime at commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> Tana


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will they say, what would they do  
> Would it be trouble if they knew  
> I'm trying hard to make you see  
> All that you are is all that I need  
> I know that it's a secret and I know I've got to keep it  
> But I want the lights on  
> Yeah, I want the lights on  
> And I don't want to run away anymore  
> Leave the lights on
> 
> Meiko - Leave The Lights On
> 
> You gotta listen to this while Lexa does the thing. DO IT --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz6eNCmaqWk

Clarke walked out of the club completely heartbroken and devastated. The night suddenly felt colder, much darker and sad. Incredibly sad.

Tears fell from her eyes.  The sobbing wasn’t going to stop, not tonight at least.

Clarke drove back to her apartment, thinking what she could do to fix things. She obviously fucked up by acting like a moron, her jealousy wouldn’t let her think straight. She didn’t want to share her girlfriend, of course not, much less when men like that perverted asshole looked at Lexa.  And yet Lexa was flirting too, and that sent Clarke into berserk mode.

She had no idea what happened with Anya. If only Lexa trusted her enough she might have helped somehow. But seeing how things were right now Lexa wasn’t going to accept any kind of help she offered.

 

It was late by the time she made it back to her apartment, way past midnight, as she fumbled with the keys and opened the door. Thankfully no one was around to see her pathetic face, she bet her mother would be ecstatic now. She fell on her bed and tried to sleep. However, sleep never came, not fully. Clarke rolled on her bed thinking about Lexa doing dances for those dickheads, being flirty and laughing with them. Clarke growled, and threw her pillow to the floor; she sat on the bed and picked up her phone from the nightstand. She texted Lexa hoping for a reply.

Sky princess: Pls babe talk to me. I’m sorry, yeah?

Clarke waited and waited but a reply never came, she sighed in frustration and went back to sleep.

 

The next morning Clarke woke up with a hole in her heart. She had no idea what prompted Lexa’s harsh words last night, much less her silence in the last couple of days. Maybe if she found her on campus today they could speak freely in a neutral environment.

Clarke was still in her PJ’s, but she was hungry.  Instead of heading to the shower first, she opened the door and left her bedroom. She walked barefoot on the tiles of her apartment until she heard her mother speaking with Jackson downstairs. Clarke wanted to avoid her mother so she turned back on her heel until she heard Lexa’s name. Clarke stopped and retraced her steps until she was above the stairs listening the conversation.

“Yes, doctor I’m sure. Miss Woods still has the check, the account is still intact.” Jackson explained.

“Really? But she has kept her distance from Clarke, hasn’t she?” Abby asked.

“Yes, Miss Clarke has been trying to reach her to no avail.  However I think she went to ‘Mount Weather’ last night.”

“I hope Lexa kept her side of the deal.”

_What the hell?_

 

Clarke needed to know what the fuck was going on, she went downstairs and met her mother and Jackson in the living room.

“What deal?” Clarke crossed her arms in front of her chest, eyes scanning her mother.

“Clarke? Good morning.” Abby smiled to her daughter, but Clarke was clearly not in the mood for greetings.

“What are you talking about? I knew you had something to do with Lexa acting weird.” Clarke frowned, she was pissed and in need of answers, “what deal?”

“Jackson, leave us please,” Abby ordered their butler. The man nodded and went back into the kitchen. Her mother turned around in the chair to face her daughter.

“What did you do?!” Clarke growled. Her eyes piercing her mother, waiting for an answer.

“Honey, Lexa made a deal with me. I offered money and she took it.”

Clarke uncrossed her arms, both limbs limp on each side of her, her mouth slightly opened, shock on her face. “No. You’re wrong!”

“That girl needs the money Clarke, it was simple math. You or the financial stability of her family? Lexa made her choice.”

“NO! She wouldn’t, she, she…” Clarke was lost for words. A huge debate going in her head.

_Lexa might._

_Lexa could._

_Lexa… did._

_No no no she wouldn’t sell us, she cares!_

“I’m sorry, Clarke. This is for the best, that girl has a different life that in no way matches yours.” Abby tried to reach her daughter, but Clarke yanked her arm away, taking a couple of steps backwards.

Clarke stared absentmindedly at the floor - lost, confused, scared, angry, and embarrassed. She shook her head, disbelief in her tone, “no.”

Clarke ran back to her room, she needed to speak with her, this couldn’t be true. Lexa would have never betrayed her like this. For money? No way in hell.

 

 

Clarke had been desperately looking for Lexa, but the brunette was nowhere to be found.

She sat in the cafeteria with her friends trying to make sense of things.

“So you had a big fight? No worries, she cares for you.” Raven commented.

Octavia took a bite of her burger before speaking her mind. “You acted a bit crazy, Clarke, you got to admit that. You knew what Lexa did for a living so you shouldn’t get so worked up.”

“I know, but it was different. She was acting weird. I don’t know.” Clarke slumped in her chair, desperate to find the truth after all the things her mother said.

Raven leaned on Octavia, resting her head on her friend’s shoulder thinking. “Clarke, apologize and tell her how you feel. I mean, she has to understand that it’s not cool to see your babe getting cozy with the customers.”

“Yeah, do that. We’ll go with you tonight, give you support and shit.”  Octavia agreed.

Raven laughed. “Liar, you just want to stop by and see Lincoln.”

Octavia lightly pushed Raven, “you’re an idiot Reyes.”

Clarke gave a faint smile to her friends.  She kept the information about the alleged deal with her mother from her friends. It was better  to discuss that only with Lexa. She had to go tonight to the club and no way they were going to kick her out this time. She had money, it was time to put that money to use, even if it was from her anemic savings, she needed it now.

“Alright, tonight we’re going to ‘Mount Weather’ so be ready.” Clarke said with decision, it was all or nothing tonight.

_____________

When Clarke, Raven and Octavia reached the strip club they moved discreetly to one of the back tables. Caris was on top of the stage using the pole, dancing to the rhythm of ‘For Your Entertainment’. The girl was good, Clarke thought, but not as good as Lexa.

Caris danced and moved closer to the patrons near the stage smiling and touching them briefly, a flirtatious and playful attitude. The woman went back to the pole, spinning sexily while the clothes started to fall, until she was fully exposed.

“Full monty it is.” Raven sipped her beer and clicked her bottle with Octavia.

“Guess it’s more action now, huh?” Octavia joked but Raven elbowed her seeing Clarke so tense and angry.

Clarke didn’t realize she closed her fist until she felt her nails digging her skin. She opened up her hand again feeling the blood flow return and the half-moon marks left on her palm. Clarke took her beer and gulped down the whole thing before standing up.

Her eyes scanned the area, tables filled with men chatting and watching the show, others simply drinking, until she spotted the man she was looking for in the far corner. “Be right back.” Clarke moved away from her table and strolled casually until she reached her destination.

 

“Good evening, Mr. Wallace.” Clarke smiled and offered her hand. “Clarke Griffin, Washington’s number one party girl and socialite.” The blonde had done her research about the owners of ‘Mount Weather’.

“Griffin, hmm, by any chance related to Jake Griffin from The Ark?” Cage shook her hand.

“Yes, he was my dad.” Clarke saw clearly the recognition in this man’s eyes, Jake Griffin had done a notorious work in The Ark, and the millions he produced now were hers, or at least, when she reached the stipulated age in the trust.

“Pleasure, and welcome to ‘Mount Weather’. If you don’t mind me asking, what is such a lady like you, Miss Griffin, doing in this place?” Cage offered a chair to Clarke.

“Oh you know, having some fun. Actually, I’m interested in one of your dancers.” Clarke placed several bills on Cage’s table. “I think you might set that up for me, discreetly. Like those VIP clients I know you have.” Clarke smirked.

“Absolutely, discretion is what this is all about. And what exactly are you looking for? A dance so hot you might combust or perhaps something else, because I’m sure you can make some arrangements. Strippers here are young and in need, I think they can be very flexible.” The man smiled in such an evil way that Clarke wanted to punch him right in the face. This asshole was offering these women like meat to be consumed and taken. Did they know?

“Arrange it. I want the Commander.” Clarke slid the bills to his hand, stood up from the table and winked at him, trying to be nice and not looking like she was going to murder this asshole.

“Hmmm, the Commander is tough, maybe someone else might cater to your desires.”

Clarke smiled and slipped him another hundred.

“Alright I guess some like it rough. Have fun.” Cage put the bills inside his coat and Clarke moved away. She was really going to murder that man.

She returned to her table and ordered something stronger, this was going to be a long night.

 

When it was Lexa’s turn to hit the stage Clarke was nervous. The lights dimmed and the music blasted from the speakers to the rhythm of ‘Fuck You All The Time’ (shlohmo remix) by Jeremih. Lexa appeared wearing black paint around her eyes, her trademark, with a long coat covering her skin. Her movements slow, enticing, she walked the stage with such sensuality. Clarke was way in the back, hiding in the shadows of the club but she had a huge need to be in the first row.

Lexa removed her jacket, and was wearing black short pants and a black corset.  She hung from the pole and started to do her routine.

“Okay, I think we better leave Clarke alone for a while.” Octavia suggested after seeing Clarke completely gone.

Raven laughed. “Yeah, she might need time to refresh herself.” The two girls moved to the bar leaving Clarke in her world of lust and love, because she loved that girl who was dancing with such passion and mastery. Lexa descended, sliding on the pole and then crawled on the floor like a wolf in the forest. She rolled and just like that the shorts were gone. Lexa stood up swaying her hips very close to a dude. Clarke almost stands up to hit that fucker but she controlled her desperation to take Lexa away. Lexa kept moving to the beat, moving her hands all over her tanned body, the muscles of her abs contracting with her contortions. The corset was gone in the next twist, leaving Lexa with a very sexy lace bra and a bikini. Lexa kept dancing around the pole, it was like making love to it, how she touched it and entangled her legs on it.

Clarke had to gulp down the whole bourbon she bought because her throat was dry.

More money was left on the stage, while Lexa kept moving and twisting her body, and just like that the bra was gone. Clarke was going to die if Lexa kept stripping. Lexa touched herself and Clarke felt the wetness between her legs, she could imagine that there were several boners in the first row as well. She couldn’t keep looking or she was going to kill someone tonight.

 

Clarke headed to the VIP room and waited there until Lexa was done, breathing hard, pacing like a caged lion desperate for release.

Five minutes later she came out and thankfully Lexa was done, she was going back to her table when she got called by one of the hostesses.

“Excuse me, your dancer is ready, ma’am.” A woman whose tag name read Emori guided Clarke to the back room and left her in a more private booth, designed for the wealthiest clients and big guns that wanted extreme privacy.

Clarke was shaking like a leaf, the closer she got to face Lexa the more nervous she got, scared to know the truth. The blonde sat on a comfortable black leather couch when the lights dimmed and she knew it was time.

The door opened and Clarke tensed, that perfume mixed with her sweat it was all her - sandalwood and honey.

Lexa was wearing a red ensemble this time; she was giving her back to Clarke. The music began, this time it was something more upbeat, ‘Leave The Lights On’ (Culture Code Remix) by Meiko. Lexa moved her hips left and right with the strum of the guitar, and then she turned around.

“Clarke?” Lexa froze for one second, missed a beat but immediately resumed her dance.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Lexa kept jerking her body closer to Clarke. As always she dismissed the blonde’s personal space.

“I need to know, Lexa. Did you make a deal with my mother?” Clarke asked, her voice raspy. Lexa removed her red vest, revealing her torso while moving her hands over her abdomen. Clarke had to keep her composure, she couldn’t break, not here, not in front of Lexa.

Lexa’s expression was as usual stone cold, she didn’t reveal anything at all. She kept moving her hips between Clarke’s legs. She leaned over Clarke, moving her upper body in and out.

“Tell me. Did you?” Clarke asked near Lexa’s ear. Demanding a definitive answer.

Lexa kept moving, grazing Clarke’s skin, moving so sultry, Clarke was so fucking close to coming, the friction between her legs were driving the med student mad. Lexa danced with her heart in her hand, looking intently at the blonde, she gave Clarke her response, “yes.”

Clarke clenched her jaw, and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Lexa moved on top of Clarke, straddling her. The friction between their bodies erotic, and Clarke knew if Lexa kept at it she could get off just from this, easily. She was pretty turned on.

“How much?” Clarke looked at Lexa, anger filling her heart, fighting her lust. “How much money was our relationship worth, huh?” Voice hard.

Lexa remained silent, but her eyes, oh her eyes were filled with pain and sadness. She thrusted her hips and arched her brow, “what do you want me to do?” while keeping the rhythm.

“Take it off.” Clarke stated resentfully and so Lexa removed the red bra exposing her breasts. Lexa still danced on top of Clarke’s lap, their heats combined into a furnace melting their skin. Lexa inclined her body, holding her weight off of Clarke grasping the edge of the leather couch, practically caging Clarke between her arms and boobs.

Clarke was so tempted to trace Lexa’s back tattoo, her ribs, her sweaty abs, to kiss her breasts, instead she bit her lip, making it bleed, holding any desire she might have and fueling her irritation and pain.

“Those too.” Clarke pointed with her blue eyes at the tiny piece of red lingerie. Lexa took a step back and took off her bikini - fully exposed to Clarke’s scrutiny.

Lexa kept moving to the song, but it was clear she was uncomfortable doing this in front of Clarke. It felt wrong. This was far away from anything intimate, it was a transaction - nothing more nothing less. But Lexa could see the hope in Clarke’s eyes, she knew that Clarke would not give up that easily even when her anger was growing by the second. Lexa had to decimate her.

“So? How much money was worth my love for you?!” Clarke’s voice slightly cracked, her lips trembled but her intention was to hurt, to humiliate her, to make her feel like an object just like her clients did. But it was so damn hard.

Lexa blinked several times, fighting the tears, but she kept moving keeping her head high, chin up, always proud. The brunette went to Clarke again, still dancing with her bare body on top of her, she caressed Clarke’s cheek, looking deeply into those bitter blue eyes. “I made this decision with my head, not my heart, Clarke.” The voice came out as a whisper, “the duty to protect my family comes first.”

“Yeah, your family,” Clarke shook her head, bitter laughter echoing in the small booth, “I’m such an idiot, and here I thought I was part of yours.” Clarke eyes filled with tears, but the blonde did her best not to cry while Lexa danced over her. Clarke couldn’t look at her, it was too much.

Lexa fought to avoid showing how much she was hurting, how hard it was to do this to Clarke,  the girl she bared her soul to, but if she wanted to keep Clarke away she had to destroy everything they had.

Lexa turned around giving her back to Clarke, her back tattoo clearly exposed, she bent over giving Clarke a nice view of her rear and a bit beyond. “You paid for this, didn’t you? So why won’t you look?” Lexa made the words come out by a miracle. She was choking. “Look at me Clarke!”

Clarke gazed at Lexa, at her tanned skin, her flexing muscles, her ass and then her eyes when Lexa faced her again. “You want this?” Lexa spread her legs for Clarke to see, Lexa started to touch herself in ways that were disturbingly obscene, moved with the music slowly, never stopped dancing, until the last beat.

“STOP!”

“No, this is the service _you_ requested, I’m just ensuring that it’s worth every penny you paid for me.”

Clarke was disgusted, and aroused, she felt dirty.

Lexa approached Clarke again, her hands slid over Clarke’s legs, her eyes fixed on the blue ones of Clarke. Lexa cupped Clarke’s face next, her thumb moving softly over the tender skin of her lips.

Clarke reacted and kissed her with so much anger and pain. It was not like the kisses they shared, this one was filled with regret, desperation and heartbreak. Lexa shoved Clarke back into the couch, hard.

“No touching.” Lexa warned through swollen lips, a smear of blood stained her fingertips when she checked her lips after the kiss. She straddled Clarke again and closer to her ear she said, “however, we can arrange something if that is what you want.”

Clarke swallowed hard, scared of this visceral reaction, of the bile rising in her throat.

Lexa leaned in and left a kiss on Clarke’s left cheek.

A last kiss.

A farewell.

 

Lexa removed herself from Clarke now that the music was over and the lights were back on.

“I guess you do have a price after all.”

Clarke stood up from the leather couch. Gustus came inside the room and offered Lexa a robe. Clarke eyed Gustus then Lexa, she took several hundreds out of her handbag and threw them on the floor.

“For your trouble.” Clarke walked out without looking back, tears started to spill onto her face.

 

“Clarke? Hey what’s wrong?” Raven saw her friend in a rush from the booth and tried to speak with her but Clarke didn’t want to talk with anybody, she ran outside the club. It was raining, actually, it was pouring.

Clarke breathed in and out, trying to control this anger and pain, the tears mixed with the heavy rain, the clouds above the heartbroken girl, standing out in the cold, trying not to feel.

The moon witnessed the young girl standing outside crying her heart out, releasing the pain, feeding her anger and hate. Clarke kept moving, she was going to let go of this awful pain in her heart one way or another.  She ran to the parking lot and jumped inside her car and drove away.

 

With a bottle of ‘Grey Goose’ in hand Clarke walked into her room, she removed her shoes and wet clothes and put on something more comfortable. And then she did the stupidest thing, she opened the gallery in her phone and scrolled through the few pictures she had of her and Lexa.

More ugly sobbing, more tears and anger. Clarke took a swig from the bottle, she wasn’t going to waste time drinking from a glass. The burning sensation in her throat was strong but she could care less. She laid in her bed, her head resting on the headboard and her legs splayed over the mattress looking at that smile, Lexa’s beautiful smile. Clarke drank more, seeing how silly they were, and how happy she had been with her. Looking back at those pictures Clarke’s heart was raw, she was in pain and desperate to erase all she was feeling inside. She drank more and more until her vision became blurry, until she couldn’t distinguish dream and reality, until she could erase herself completely.

____________

“Clarke open the damn door!” Octavia demanded knocking hard over the wooden door.

“Clarke, come on! You don’t have to be alone, just let us in.” Raven begged her friend. The two girls had been worried after Clarke stopped returning calls and text messages. More worried when Abby spoke with them about Clarke’s current confinement.

Clarke had been in her room for several days, barely eating any food and drowning her pain in booze.

“I’m going to blow up this fucking door Clarke, I swear!” Raven tried again to reach her friend.

“Raven calm down, don’t make this worse, you dumbass.” Octavia stopped Raven and continued calling her friend, “Clarke, please!” Octavia knocked again.

 

The lock on the door clicked and Octavia and Raven entered the bedroom. The curtains were drawn and there was trash all over the floor. The stench of alcohol flooded the room and Clarke remained seated on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, staring at the white walls, her eyes bloodshot from sleep deprivation.

Raven sat beside Clarke on the bed. “Hey, princess. You look like shit.”

Octavia scolded Raven with her look, but Clarke didn’t react to the comment.

Octavia took a chair and put it in front of the bed, looking at Clarke she tried to cheer her friend up. “Clarke, come on, we’re your friends you know we’re here for you. I know things went to hell with Lexa and—“

“DON’T SAY THAT NAME!” Clarke growled, “for all I care she can rot in hell.”

“Easy.” Raven embraced Clarke, “we get it. You’re hurt. In pain. But you’ll get over it, you always do.”

Clarke leaned on Raven and let her friend hold her. Raven caressed the disheveled strands of blonde hair, rocking her softly. “It’s okay. You’ll forget about her.”

Clarke sobbed and hid her face in Raven’s neck. “Why?” Clarke croaked, her voice barely a whisper.

Octavia kneeled beside the bed, holding Clarke’s hand in hers. “It’s a hard to tell, Clarke, but… shit, I better shut up. I don’t know why?”

“She betrayed me! She sold our relationship for money! My mom, she, she…”

Clarke broke into an ugly sob, ashamed that they saw her like this, in pieces, completely destroyed on the inside.

“You just need time to heal, Clarke. You’re strong and gorgeous. There is someone out there who will love you like you deserve.” Raven hugged Clarke.

“Yeah, Clarke, Raven thinks that you’re gorgeous, she just wants to get in your pants.” Octavia smiled teasing her friends.

Clarke laughed a bit, which was a good indication, hopeful.

“Okay Clarke, let’s begin with a shower, shall we?” Octavia stood up and walked to open the curtains. “You reek.”

“Agree. I’ll prepare the bathtub for you, princess. Stay put.” Raven stood up from the bed.

“I uh, I think I need to puke first.”

____________

After being lost in the pain and heartache, she went back to classes. After all, finals were around the corner, the semester was about to end and Clarke was going to pass psychology and never see Lexa again. It was simple, just let time take care of everything. Clarke needed to believe that.

The emptiness in her heart, the hollowness in her soul, it was like she was missing a piece of herself. Lexa chose money over her, chose to push her away because she got paid, basically. Her mother bought Lexa’s loyalty, her dignity. Clarke would never forgive her for this betrayal. Things went south quickly with her mother, Clarke wouldn’t talk to her or even eat with her. Jackson served dinner in two separate rooms. Abby had tried to reach her many times to no avail.

 

Clarke was heading to the auditorium, last psychology class before the final exam. She was glad. She took her usual spot, she took out of her bag her laptop and headphones and put it on her desk. She took out her notebook to check the previous notes while she waited for Professor Miller. Clarke sat as comfortably as possible, plugged the headphones and pressed play on her music player.

Clarke remained seated lost in the sounds, in the music, but every time she closed her eyes she pictured the movements of strong legs, the waver of hips, and hot, wet skin. Clarke snapped her eyes open, she yanked the headphones out of her ears and put them away, this wasn’t helping. Much less now that Lexa had arrived, she walked to her usual spot but before taking her seat, her eyes darted towards Clarke. And Lexa stared at her, green eyes scanning her, a soft look that made Clarke tremble. She rolled her eyes and ignored the brunette.

Class was boring, and worse, her concentration was absent so Clarke started to doodle in her notebook. But the more she tried to overlook Lexa, the more she paid attention to her profile, tracing lines with her pencil, shadowing her neck, sketching the curly brown hair that smelled of citrus in the morning.

“Fuck!” Clarke exhaled, this was going to take more time. Clarke raked her hands through her hair and prayed that the hour moved faster.

 

Class was dismissed and Clarke picked up her bag and walked out of the auditorium. Lexa went after her quickly.

“Clarke! Wait, please.” Lexa caught up with Clarke, she grabbed Clarke’s arm to stop her from leaving but Clarke yanked her arm away from Lexa’s grasp. Clarke glared at her with disdain.

“What?” Her tone was pretty aggressive, lips set in a thin line, her blue eyes spitting fire.

“How are you?” Lexa was being weak by reaching Clarke but she knew that she missed several days of classes and she worried about her.

“What do you care? Last I remember you dumped me for a ton of cash.” Clarke spat and turned around ready to sprint away from Lexa.

“I do care, Clarke.” Her green eyes were so soft, how could Lexa look at her like this and make her feel butterflies in her stomach was anyone’s guess. “Please, at least let’s—“

“Don’t! We’re not going to be friends or some shit, you can fuck off Lexa! I HATE YOU!” Clarke walked away, her heart was going to bust out of her chest if she stayed close, smelling her perfume and staring at her lips. Clarke needed an escape and fast.

 

Clarke reached the cafeteria and found her squad waiting at the table.

“We should go clubbing tonight.” Clarke suggested during lunch. Octavia and Raven were looking at her like she had gone crazy.

“What? We’re young and single. Time to get back on track.” Clarke continued eating her lunch, sure that this was the right thing to do. She was going to take control of her destiny and have fun. Tonight she was going to get lucky.

“Hell yeah, that’s the spirit” Raven smiled, her brown eyes glinting with mischief. They were going to have lots of fun tonight.

“Okay, but um, I uh, I have a date with Lincoln. Hope you don’t mind.” Octavia looked at Clarke, making sure that she was okay with it. Lincoln was Lexa’s friend and of course, that could mean that Lexa could hear about their night.

Clarke shrugged, “of course I don’t, O. We’re going to have a blast.” She gave her friends a huge smile, confident and full of optimism. She was going to do whatever it took to erase Lexa completely. Anything.

____________

‘The Dropship’ was packed as usual, Clarke and Raven set up their area at the VIP tables.  Octavia and Lincoln arrived minutes later and they greeted each other politely. Clarke was trying her best to keep a smile on her face, to be confident in front of Lincoln, making sure that if he saw Lexa he would let her know that Clarke was radiant and happy without her.

They ordered some beers and drank and chatted about stupid things now that college was almost over. Clarke took a swig of her amber bottle when she caught out of the corner of her eye another girl who was looking at her, Clarke smiled at her and rise her bottle in greeting. The other girl smiled and winked back at her.

 

Clarke was on the dance floor when she spotted the girl with the cute smile, intriguing brown eyes and blonde hair. Clarke moved to where she was and smiled, “hello, I’m Clarke.”

“Harper.”

Clarke shook her hand. “Wanna dance?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The two girls moved to the rhythm that the DJ was mixing, the neon lights paced through the crowd, Clarke danced carelessly, having fun. Harper was easy to talk to and carefree, not broody like the stripper. Their bodies moved out of sync, she could only dance with one other woman.

_Lexa_

Clarke shook her head trying to get back in the game. Harper was cute, and it was a chance to have lots of fun and forget. They kept dancing clumsily to the rhythm of ‘Rave Century’, laughing and drinking until their bodies were drenched in perspiration.

 

Suddenly she was in the bathroom kissing Harper, her lips were different - tasted of wine and cherry. Clarke pushed the girl against the wall desperate for the contact, her head was fuzzy, the booze and memories mixing everything together.

Harper kissed Clarke biting her bottom lip, pulling her closer. Clarke removed her jacket and closed the gap between the stranger and her. Touching the humid skin, the curves were soft, her abdomen firm but not as muscular as _hers_. Harper moved to her neck biting hard, making her moan. Clarke leaned back letting Harper kiss all the curves of her neck and shoulder.

Clarke took control again and this time slid her hand below the waistband of Harper’s jeans, unbuttoning them quickly and reaching right where she wanted. Harper whimpered and Clarke kept pushing her heel of her palm against her wet underwear. Harper kissed Clarke hard, her tongue sliding in and out, it was fierce. She bit Clarke again when she came. Harper pushed Clarke against the wall of the small toilet where they were fucking, the sound of the music muffling their moans and slid her fingers along the length of her leg.  She removed Clarke’s pants and undies and lifted her leg to have better access. Clarke closed her eyes, Harper kneeled and licked her swollen clit several times, wetness pooling between her legs.

“How many?” Harper asked.

“Three!”

The stranger smiled, and slid three fingers inside Clarke’s cunt. Clarke wanted to be banged and hard, maybe that way she could erase the gentleness of the brunette, of her soft hands moving reverently over her body. Clarke bit her lower lip tasting blood, she fisted her hand in the blonde’s hair while she worked on her fast, wildly, thrusting and Clarke was in the zone. So close.

“Oh god yes, Lexa!”

Clarke came hard, it felt good. Clarke opened her eyes and breathing hard.

Harper stood up and perk her brow, “Lexa? Really?”

Clarke lifted up her panties and buttoned up her jeans, her face contorted in pain when she heard the name. “What?”

“You screamed that name, guess we all have some baggage.” Harper kissed Clarke one more time. “It was fun.”

 

Clarke came out of the bathroom looking like crap, the smell of sex embedded in her skin and she felt guilty.

“Woah, princess you okay?” Octavia wondered as soon as she noticed the red marks on the neck of the blonde.

“I uh, I’m tired. Can you drive Raven? I’m not sure I can.” She wasn’t even sure she could walk. Her legs were of jelly and she was tired and tipsy.

“Duh, let’s go.”

 

The ride back to her home was silent, and Clarke was thankful for it. She wasn’t ready to speak about her latest adventure. She got screwed in a nightclub restroom and she let the wrong name - maybe it is the right name - slip out, how fucked was that?

“Here we are, Clarke. I can stay with you if you want.” Raven smiled kindly at her clearly upset friend.

Clarke shook her head. “Thanks Raven, I’m okay. Perfect. It was amazing, I had a blast.”

“Great, I’m glad. Just um, take your time Clarke. You don’t need to rush it.”

Clarke offered an apologetic smile. “Yeah, good night.”

Clarke got out of the car, shut the door and went inside her building.

 

She opened her apartment door and walked inside, dumping her jacket on the couch as she strolled helplessly through her loft.

Her mother was reading in the studio. Inevitably she saw her daughter’s walk of shame.

“Clarke?” Abby came out of the studio, “what’s wrong?” Her mother crossed her arms observing the messy clothes and marks on her daughter’s body.

“Hey mom, I’m great, I wasn’t in ‘Mount Weather.’  You should be extremely happy.” Clarke kept walking, ignoring the gaze of her mother.

“Clarke, don’t walk away from me. Why can’t we have an adult conversation?”

“Conversation? Let’s see, I drank lots and um, I danced, oh, and I banged a random girl mom, she was rich, which I guess fulfills your requirements. Want more details?”

“Clarke—“

Clarke ignored her mother and ran up the stairs, she felt sick.

She shut her door and removed her clothes and quickly tossed them. Then Clarke sat in her bathtub and turned on the water spray. She curled in a tight ball and let herself cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, I am truly sorry but this had to be done. In other news I'm about to write the last chapter so I guess it's time to make your wish list cos once I finish writing this there's no going back. I can't make any promises though, so cross your fingers that I can do something worthy.  
> Please say hi whenever you want at commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com or if you have prompts I might get free soon so you can drop them there as well for a one-shot. I already have another Clexa fic in mind but I'm not sure about that yet, so we'll see how it goes.  
> Thanks for your support and if you like what you read please rec the fic to your buddies as well, that is the best way to support the fic writers too.
> 
> Have fun and til next time,
> 
> Tana


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately there seems to be  
> Some insecurities  
> About the way I feel  
> Where I wanna be  
> Boy, you know is with you  
> No one can do   
> The things you do  
> To me
> 
> Right Here - SWV

_“I have a deal for you.” Abby said._

_Lexa paid attention to what the woman had to say._

_“You have to pay the stage fee and give 10% of your earnings to the club, Lexa. You depend on good days to earn at least a $1000 a week and that is not a good way to survive, but I can make it better.” Abby looked into Lexa’s face, burying her brown eyes into green._

_“You did your research, Dr. Griffin. You must really hate that your daughter chose me. I bet you know about my juvie record too. You dug into my life because it doesn’t make sense to you or anyone that your daughter is with me. And I get it because I can’t believe Clarke chose me.” Lexa spoke controlled, calm, if she was angry or sad, Abby couldn’t tell. Lexa didn’t show weakness. “I’m not the angry teen I was before, Doctor. I understand that this line of work is not respected, and yes, bad days suck and doing a double shift sometimes doesn’t pay off at all but it’s much more than what I earned at the coffee shop.  I’m not robbing a bank either, this is as honest as I can be.”_

_“Clarke is not going to stand around while men touch you, devour you with their eyes. I know my kid, she will ask more from you, she will want you whole. Right now you can’t quit and you don’t have any other source of income.” Abby took out from a folder a piece of paper and filled it out. “How much money do you need? I will erase your debts but you will leave Clarke alone. Stay away from my daughter and the money is yours.”_

_“My love is not for sale Doctor.” Lexa stood up from the chair._

_“You owe more than 20 grand Lexa, are you sure you want to refuse? You can start over again free of worries., Think of your sister, all she has done for you. You need the money, Lexa. Clarke will suffer but she will move on, be the successful surgeon she’s meant to be.”_

_Lexa looked at the expensive tiles on the kitchen floor, then to the stainless steel countertop and all the fancy equipment. This was Clarke’s life, she didn’t belong here. This was a world of excess, of commodities and appearances. Clarke was the princess of this castle and Lexa was the pauper. A princess married the brave knight in shining armor, not the beggar on the street. She couldn’t fool herself anymore, Clarke deserved someone respectable on her side, an engineer or a doctor, not a stripper._

_Lexa faced Abby again after giving it some thought. “Deal. I’ll stay away from Clarke because I want the best for her, sadly what I can give her is not enough to meet your standards or anyone else’s. I could care less about your money, Dr. Griffin.”_

_Abby filled the blank check and passed it on to Lexa, “take the check, Lexa. You might need it. Is this enough?”_

_Lexa looked at the check, she gulped down when she read the amount she had been given. “Is this how much you value your daughter’s love life?”_

_“No, that’s how I value your needs. Start again, Lexa. Build a better life for your family.” Abby stood up from the table. “May we meet again.”_

 

Lexa sighed, leaning her head against the headrest of her bed, remembering over and over again why she made the deal. It wasn’t about money, it was because she wasn’t worth it. She believed in Clarke so much, in how much goodness she could bring to anyone’s life, but not hers.  She made a deal with the devil, she sacrificed her love for this girl so she could keep on living the life she was meant to live. Clarke hated her, she made sure to hurt her deep, right where it counted.

Lexa held the check in her hand, with a knife she took out from her drawer she stabbed it in her wall as a reminder of what had been agreed, as a reminder that this was what she was worth to those people.

“$50,000.” Lexa read the amount of the check stuck on the wall.

“Never forget that’s how they value us, Lexa.” Anya came into her sister’s room. She left a small tray of food on the desk of the poli sci student.

“I’d say use the money, but you’re an idiot. You’re so in love with that girl that you’ll keep that stupid check as a memento.”

“Sorry.” Lexa said.

Anya sat beside Lexa on the bed. “Don’t be, loving someone is not something to be ashamed of, Lexa. Just because I don’t agree with your choices doesn’t mean I want you to be miserable.”

Lexa rested her hands on her lap, looking down, fighting the urge to cry and let the tears wash away the pain. Ripping Clarke from her heart was going to be hard, if not impossible, but she needed to start again and Clarke had to find someone better. But Lexa hated it, deep down in her heart Clarke Griffin belonged with her.

 

“I never wanted this for you.” Anya pulled Lexa to her and pressed a kiss on her forehead, then she leaned closer bumping their foreheads. “I wish I could have given you a better life where you could enjoy being in love without care.”

“You have given me a great life, Anya. If it weren’t for you I would have ended up in the foster system and god knows where else. You gave me food and shelter, how can I not repay your kindness and love?”

“You love that annoying rich girl, and her rich bitch of a mother did play her cards pretty well. I’d have done the same to be honest. But I want you happy above all things even if it is with that brat.” Anya caressed Lexa’s head, playing with her braids, trying to ease the tension of her sister of the heart.

“You were right nonetheless. I dared to aim too high and a stripper can’t compete with that. I can’t be with Clarke.” Lexa started to sob, a tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it right away. “I’ll be fine Anya.” She had learned the hard way not to let emotions rule her. Lexa was determined not feel like this ever again. It hurt too much.

“I know, Lexa. You’re strong, still, you know what people say ‘the quickest way to get over one man, is to get under another,’ a woman in your particular case dummy.”

“Gee, thanks Anya for your wise words.”

“Just be patient, you will forget about that rich princess. So get up and conquer the world.”

Lexa could do that, she was going to own the world.  But forget Clarke? That was going to take so much more time.

 

 

Lexa was on campus way after she finished her International Politics final exam. She spent days studying for this exam and she was glad to be done with it. If things went well she would be one semester away from graduation. After so many years busting her ass she could taste how close she was to obtaining her degree. She was walking to the library to prepare for her upcoming final in macroeconomics in a couple of days when she saw the trio that she befriended these past months.

Lexa stopped in her tracks, suddenly the way to the library was crowded, but Lexa was no coward, she just had to pass Clarke, Raven and Octavia who haven’t seen her yet. If she turned around, that would be the coward’s way and no way in hell Lexa was a coward.

The click of her boots suddenly felt noisy around her, the sun shone and made Clarke look like an actual star fallen from the sky, her hair burning brightly and her skin radiant. Lexa kept her pace, ignoring the burning sensation in her upper back, she was stressing too much about walking to a stupid library.

She passed the three girls chatting to the side of the library when she heard Clarke.

“And that one, ladies, is one heck of a stripper. Totally worth the money. She’ll do anything for a hundred.”

Lexa clenched her jaw and opened the door to the library not even turning to see Clarke, the venom in her voice was enough. Lexa found an empty table in a corner and took a seat. She put on her black rim glasses, took out several books and her notebook to review some topics before heading home.

 

Lexa tried to focus on what was written in the books. Most tables were filled with study groups, it was clearly finals season by the amount of students walking around looking for material to review their subjects. Lexa did her best to study, however, Clarke was set on making her life a living hell during the last weeks of the semester. The blonde approached the table, blue eyes narrowed and when Lexa looked at her, her heart somersaulted with happiness and pain.

“So tell me, Lexa. Are you enjoying the money my mom paid you?”

“I’m trying to study, Clarke.”

“Apologies. Don’t wanna ruin your education. Not like you ruined my heart.”

Lexa swallowed hard, that was a low blow, and fucking Clarke Griffin was the master of hurtful words.

“Okay Clarke let’s go.” Raven came and pulled Clarke by her blouse to force her to walk away from Lexa. Raven smiled awkwardly to the brunette and pushed Clarke away.

Lexa sighed, removed her glasses and closed her eyes for a second, trying to keep her composure, those words were meant to hurt and of course they did, Lexa messed with Clarke’s feelings and she was going to pay for that.

_______________

Lexa finished her finals, the semester was over but she didn’t have the luxury of going on a trip. She had to work now harder than ever, graduation was six months away.

Tonight there were a lot of drunkards and also lots of men with huge wallets. Lexa finished her shift and was behind the stage, counting the money she earned today.

She stashed her money, changed into her regular clothes - black pants and a muscle shirt, and shut her locker. She was going to the office to discuss with Indra her discomfort with how Cage Wallace was managing the club. Dante Wallace respected them, but this dude treated them like merchandise and Lexa was done with this.

Lexa’s gut warned her that something was off, she just needed to know what. Lexa kept walking, paying attention to her surroundings when she heard the screams over the loud music. Lexa had great senses.

Lexa acted instinctively, like she did when she was 16 and got ambushed by a school gang known as the Ice Nation - what a stupid name Lexa had thought during those days. Her instincts were screaming at her and she listened. If it wasn’t for that she would have ended up in a hospital or dead probably.

 

She kicked the door of the room down and saw the client molesting the dancer, trying to touch her in ways that were obviously not part of a stripper’s job. Lexa didn’t waste time and pulled him from his collar. “You son of a bitch!” And punched him in the face. “Who gave you the right, huh?!” Lexa grabbed his shirt with her fists, almost growling at the man. The other dancer was in the corner pretty freaked out by the animal fury Lexa possessed.

“I fucking paid for this. You will release me, bitch or else—“

Lexa couldn’t give a damn and she snapped his fingers. The man screamed and then, Lexa kneed him in his crotch, the man cried in pain and Lexa finished him off with a kick that knocked him out.

Gustus came minutes later to check the commotion. “Lexa.” The man said when she found the young woman standing over the unconscious man.

“What is this? Men are paying to abuse our dancers? Who the fuck is allowing this? Does Indra know?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Okay, could you find out from the rest of the crew if anyone else has been molested?”

Gustus nodded.

“Good, take care of her. I will deal with this matter personally.”

 

She stomped through the club until she reached the offices where she could find Cage Wallace. The man who could give her answers.

Lexa reached the back room of the club, where several men dressed in suits and ties waited, probably Cage’s personal security.

“Out of my way.” Lexa said through gritted teeth. She was all fury, an angry wolf ready to tear off limbs.

The men looked at her like she was crazy, dismissing Lexa like she was no threat and just a stripper. Lexa showed them how stupid it was to underestimate  her.

Lexa attacked the tallest one, striking hard, catching him by surprise and knocking him out quickly. The other two countered, but they were slow by Lexa’s standards, she kicked one and the other got elbowed in his face. Lexa broke his nose.

The one who got kicked hit Lexa, the girl stumbled but was on her feet quickly.

 

“Lexa, watch out!” Lincoln came to see about the ruckus when he saw another man come behind Lexa with a knife. Lexa ducked but the blade grazed her arm.

Lincoln jumped into action and joined Lexa in the brawl. Lexa tried to get close but the knife was still a problem. She needed to get inside his personal space to get rid of it. She waited until the man slashed at her, cutting her in her ribcage, the cut deep, but the adrenaline was keeping the pain at bay. Lexa used his attack to get closer and trapped his arm, she twisted it and broke it. The man screamed and before Lexa could finish him off he ran away.

Lincoln had received some damage but he took down the other man. Throwing him against the door, breaking it.

Lexa walked inside the office followed by Lincoln. Cage Wallace was at his big ass desk surprised by the interruption

“How dare you break in!” Cage complained.

“You have been selling us like whores!” Lexa jumped into the desk and pulled Cage by his neck.

“Emerson!!” Cage called but no one came.

“I think that’s the one who ran away.” Lincoln smiled, chin split and blood trickled down his face.

“Lexa what are you doing?” Indra came after all the commotion with Gustus.

“Indra, did you know anything about this? This bastard hired young vulnerable girls so he could profit from us in ways that weren’t part of our terms. He has been selling our services as sexual favors. No wonder I had to hit several douchebags in the last days but I thought it had to do with them being pervs or drunks. Now it all makes sense.”

“You will regret this, Commander.”

“And what are you gonna do? Fire me? Shoot me? Because trust me, after what I’ve done to the person I cared about the most, nothing matters anymore.” Lexa mocked, ready to beat this asshole into a pulp.

“Let me handle this, Lexa. You need medical attention.” Indra ordered.

“The hell I’m leaving! My duty is to protect my crew from scumbags like him!”

“Go to the a clinic you two. I will deal with this.” Indra insisted.

“Go with Lincoln, Lexa. You’ve already done enough.” Gustus pulled Lexa away from Cage and took her place instead.

 

 

Lexa was seated on a gurney, the nurse was examining her. Lincoln was beside her, also being treated.

“Just like the old times. You were a tiny little warrior in school, Anya kicked my ass several times for not helping you. But she knew as much as I did that you were capable of taking care of yourself.” Lincoln smiled.

Lexa chuckled, “Ow, shit. Don’t make me laugh, this hurts.”

Lincoln laughed. “Yeah, that was some fight. You still got the moves.”

“Guess we can’t erase what we really are.” _Savages_ ran through Lexa’s mind.

 

“Alright miss, you’ll get attention soon.” The nurse closed the curtains and left Lexa and Lincoln on their stretchers.

The curtains opened and to her surprise Clarke Griffin appeared wearing a lab coat over blue scrubs, her hair was in a bun and she was carrying their files.

“Clarke! This is a surprise.” Lincoln was the first to speak since both girls couldn’t say a word.

“Ah hey Lincoln, um, yeah what a surprise.”

“I thought you would be traveling during the semester break.”

“Ah no, actually I was in need of a job so here I am, earning my money. Working in a small clinic where no one knows you’re daughter of Dr. Abby Griffin is a big relief too.” Clarke smiled.

“That’s great.”

Clarke read the chart, her eyes scanning Lincoln. “Well you just have a concussion which might improve with anti-inflammatories and ice. And I think O has no idea you’re here, right?”

“No, better not to worry her. Can you keep this between us?”

“Yes, sure.”

 

Clarke turned and looked at Lexa, she didn’t need to read the chart, the blood staining her shirt was enough to know she needed stitches.

“The Commander needs stitches.” Was all Clarke said and got out.

When she returned she came with a tray of medical equipment. “Monroe, please take care of Mr. Lincoln while I stitch um, the patient.” Clarke said coldly, with so much detachment it hurt.

Clarke pressed the needle, moving in and out of the skin, the anesthetic doing its job. The smell of disinfectant made Lexa’s stomach queasy, she was not a fan of hospitals or any medical environment.

Lexa closed her eyes and let the blonde finish patching her up.  She could stand the pain of the blows and cuts she got, but she wasn’t strong enough to deal with Clarke’s indifference. The way she spoke so clinically hurt so much.

When Clarke was done she tossed her gloves in the bin. “You’re all set. Your friend needs to come back in two weeks.” Clarke told Lincoln.

 

Lexa was so pissed, Clarke was treating her like she wasn’t even there. She’d rather have the blonde insulting her, hating her than this.

“So this is how it’s going to be? You won’t even acknowledge I exist?” Lexa stood up, trying to intimidate the girl who tended to her.

“Miss, sit down please you’re going to break the sutures.” Monroe tried to calm down the stripper who was getting worked up again. All because Clarke Griffin now was ignoring her. Monroe was panicking since Lexa was standing so feral, and she was no match for the taller girl who looked like a savage beast, but Clarke immediately pulled Monroe to the side and stood facing Lexa.

“You better sit down.” Clarke was dead serious. She started to move forward, backing Lexa up. The stripper stumbled on her feet until her ass bumped the edge of the gurney. “You stay right there until Monroe is done. Outside this clinic you can do whatever the hell you want, Lexa.”

Lexa swallowed, her nostrils flared but she sat back on the bed. Then, Clarke left with the other girl.

 

Lincoln burst into laughter. Lexa rolled her eyes and looked at him, “what is so funny?”

“I have never ever seen anyone corner you.” Lincoln kept laughing holding his stomach, “I mean, you are pretty scary but Clarke made you sit down.”

Lexa clenched her jaw, “shut up, Lincoln!”

“No one is going to believe that. The commander backed off like a grounded puppy.” Lincoln was having so much fun, cackling in laughter.

Lexa sighed, this was going to be a long night. Thankfully Monroe returned with the paperwork and the two of them could depart.

 

 

The next day Lexa had to meet with Indra at the club, she was already assuming she was not going to be able to work there and was thinking of a plan B.

The day was cloudy, and it felt so cold, her body hurt when she walked and her stitches were still fresh. The stinging sensation was always a reminder that she was alive, that’s something she learned very young, Anya had taught her those words. _“Feel the pain and feed from it, let it remind you that you’re alive.”_

When her parents passed away when she was 7, she felt like dying with them, those words were what kept pushing her. Anya took care of her when she was a teen, because Anya understood how hard it was to be alone in the world and she took Lexa under her wing. Anya became a mentor to her, but above all things she became family. Lexa learned about survival and being strong from her. Anya encouraged her to keep dancing, to enjoy life. When she turned 11 she started to feel a stronger attraction for girls and when she was 14, she clearly knew she was hella gay, and yet, Anya never chastised her for it, like other kids at her school. The kids at school tried to bring her down but Anya taught her how to fend for herself, and her fists became  steel. When she was hungry Anya wouldn’t just split the bread, oh no, Anya gave all of the bread to Lexa.

 _“You were born to rule the world, Lexa. You have determination and you’re smart. I know you’ll succeed, you will beat the odds and overcome this hell we live in.”_ Anya told Lexa one day. However, Lexa was scared of the weight of those words, and to tackle that fear she became a ruthless girl who inspired fear and respect. Thankfully, two years later she met her best friend, Costia, who was so loving and amazing that she made her open her eyes and right her wrongs.

 

Lexa zipped her jacket; she was walking on the sidewalk until she reached the next corner that was going to take her to the ‘Mountain.’

Her steps felt heavy as she got closer to the club, Anya was royally pissed that Lexa took matters in her hands when she arrived home all hurt and bloody, but Anya raised her to be a leader, to take action when injustice occurred and so, Anya ended up forgiving her stupidity.  Lexa didn’t mention who stitched her wounds at the clinic. She wanted to avoid more conflict.

 

The club was empty at this time of day and so when Lexa went in, no one was there except for her crew - her friends, the people that had become her family in the past six and a half months. Suddenly the dancer from last night came to Lexa and held her tight.

“Thank you. I was scared and this man was so angry and I...”

“Hey, it’s okay. Nothing is going to happen to you or anyone here anymore.” Lexa assured. She gazed at her friends, Echo and Caris, to Gustus and Lincoln and let go of the girl. She walked to Indra’s office, she knocked first and then opened the door.

 

“Lexa, there you are.”

“Indra. Mr. Wallace.”

Lexa eyed Dante Wallace suspiciously, he was the previous administrator before his son took charge of the club.

“I heard what happened Lexa, Indra told me about it. My son—”

“Sir, if you want an apology you won’t get one. If you want to press charges for assault, so be it, but justice had to be served, somehow.”

“Lexa, be quite!” Indra scolded.

Lexa sighed and waited for Dante to finish his speech.

“My son was using this place to do business with other corporations, biowarfare was his idea of making money. He also was offering other services in the club to gather money for his dirty business. I’m sorry this happened, Lexa. I promise that I won’t let Cage take control again.”

“So, I can still work?”

“Yes, I was wondering if you would like to take charge of the club.”

Lexa thought about the proposal, she could manage the club but right now she had to focus in her studies. “I’m sorry, Mr. Wallace, my priority right now is to graduate. Managing would take more time. However, Indra is capable of taking care of the club. She’s trusted by the crew.”

“Very well, Indra will be taking charge of ‘Mount Weather’ from now on.” Dante offered. “I am too old for this anyway.”

______________

Two weeks later Lexa was feeling much better, her body was healing at a slow but steady pace. The bruises were already fading, thankfully. She had to stop working but at least Anya got her job back at the club, this time not as a dancer, Anya was in charge of all the workers’ routines and making sure they were safe with the clients and the environment was more amicable. Indra was making good decisions based on what Mr. Dante Wallace wanted for his club. Also they stopped charging several fees that gave more leverage to the young college students to reduce their debts.

 

She was heading to the clinic, her steps slow, taking her time, thinking what was she going to do if Clarke was there. It was obvious that the tension between them was catastrophic, Clarke was so angry and bitter as fuck, there was no way in hell that they could remain friends.

 

Lexa reached the small clinic and pushed the door, she met the receptionist and simply said she needed to get rid of the stitches. In a second came Monroe, another med student who was working during the break at this clinic.

Monroe face turned pale, it was clear that the sight of Lexa could be intimidating, particularly after last time when Lexa almost ran over the poor girl because she was being passive aggressive with Clarke.

“Hi. Monroe, right?” Lexa tried to be cool, casual.

“Yep, um, please wait in that room. I’ll get to you in a sec.” Monroe smiled awkwardly and retreated to get the tools she needed to treat Lexa.

Lexa strolled to the room and she sat on a chair when she heard the only laughter that made her feel butterflies in her stomach coming from the back of the clinic. Clarke was radiant, with a huge smile on her face, followed by a tall boy with dark skin and black hair, his dark eyes followed Clarke like two magnets. Lexa didn’t like it, at all.

 

“I’m serious Clarke, my dad would have failed you if you had delivered that report with that information.”

“Your dad can be a real prick, Wells. Thankfully I won’t have classes with him this semester.” Clarke noted Lexa, which made her stop in the middle of the clinic.

Lexa just stared back at her blue eyes, she loved to see the sky in them; her lips, how soft they were and her chin dimple, her rosy cheeks, everything about Clarke Griffin made her heart skip a beat. Lexa was so thirsty; no one other than Clarke was going to satiate that thirst. After tasting heaven she wouldn’t dare to eat somewhere else, she wished she could stay buried deep in Clarke forever, until she stopped breathing on this earth. But that was now a dream, an illusion, a mirage. Things went to hell pretty fast, particularly when a girl from the streets involved herself with one of the richest girls in DC. No sane person would allow that.

“I mean, yes he’s strict, but he’s trustworthy and understanding. That’s why he’s a great teacher.” Wells snapped his fingers at Clarke. “Hey, are you listening?”

“Yeah, whatever you say Wells.” Clarke kept moving on to do her work.

 

At that Monroe came back with several items and Lexa’s file.

“Alright, remove the shirt so I can check the wound please.” Monroe took out from the box on the table a couple of latex gloves while she closed the curtain, however, she was stopped by Clarke.

“Hey Monroe, can you show Wells how to administer the flu shots?”

“Um, sure but I have to check Miss Woods first.”

“Nah, leave that to me, I did the stitches so it’s better if I review them myself.” Which of course was a blatant lie, Monroe could take care of Lexa’s check-up perfectly.

“Uh, no prob then.” Monroe eyed Clarke in wonder and went to help Wells. Monroe closed the curtains behind her to give privacy to the two girls.

 

Clarke took her gloves from the box, “You suddenly got shy stripper? Remove that shirt.”

“I have a name.” Lexa claimed, she removed her shirt, and winced with the movement but it wasn’t so painful, not like before. The words from Clarke hurt more.

“Yes, traitor. That’s the name you deserve.” Clarke continued bashing Lexa.

“Clarke, can you stop being a bitter asshole and act like an adult?”

Clarke snorted, “stop? Did you ever stop to think what you did to me? How you betrayed my trust, my love? And you want me to stop? Fuck you, Lexa.” The blonde put on her gloves and with the disinfectant cleaned the wound; Lexa clenched her jaw, making sure to not show any sign of pain or discomfort. She wasn’t going to give that to Clarke.

Clarke cleaned the wound and with her fingertips pressed softly the skin, making sure it was completely healed. The two remained silent while Clarke cleaned the rest of her wounds and examined the tanned torso of the dancer.

 

“I did.”

“What?”

“I stopped to think about what I did.”

Clarke cut the stitches with care, trying to do a thorough job. Without thinking Clarke traced the visible portion of Lexa’s back tattoo, she closed her eyes and Clarke went back in time for an instant. When the two of them were in bed, enjoying the warmth of one another, no betrayal, no hurt nor hate, simply two girls who enjoyed each other very much.

“And?”

“I don’t regret anything.” Because Lexa did the best for Clarke, left her out of her troublesome life.

“Good. Me neither.” Clarke didn’t regret loving her, even after the pain Lexa caused her, she was glad she met her because no one had seen her like Lexa did. Lexa bared her soul and that’s why this hurt so much. Call it soulmates or whatever you want to call this thing they had. Clarke felt naked around Lexa, vulnerable, lonely, hurt. The sad thing was that Lexa felt exactly the same.  Both had been happy and so in love but life sometimes gets in the way.

Sometimes reality gets in the way.

Sometimes people get in the way.

Sometimes, it is not meant to be.

 

Clarke knew this heartbreak was going to take time to heal. To forgive, not to forget. “You’re wound is okay. Skin is still tender but you should be fine.”

Lexa sat upright again, she took a look at the thin red line that crossed her ribcage and put her shirt back on. “Thanks.” Lexa stood up and with a last glance to her princess, she walked away.

____________

It took hard work, persistence and endurance to keep doing what she had to do to fulfill her goals. To rise every damn morning to go to classes and sit there for hours to learn something and go to bed late because she had to work.

Lexa Woods, age 23, political science student and stripper was months away from finally getting her degree.

The past three months had been intense, not just because there was a lot of study involved, but because there was a war between her and her ex-lover, Clarke Griffin.

Every time they crossed paths people could feel the tension between them, Clarke being snarky at Lexa, and Lexa sassing Clarke. Their words poisonous to each other, destroying the love they built for one another.

Lexa sacrificed her love for the blonde because she was never going to be at par of Clarke’s aspirations. While Clarke traveled the world, Lexa barely had enough to pay for her ride back home from work. However, Lexa couldn’t sacrifice her honor, and it was time that she claimed that honor and dignity back.

 

Lexa finished classes and picked up her books. She shoved everything inside her backpack and strolled out of the classroom and went down the stairs of her building to the central campus. Lexa had some time so instead of going right to work she needed to think things through, to clear her messy head. She went into the backyard of campus where she used to practice her routines, dropped her bag on the ground and put on her earbuds. If she couldn’t have Clarke, at least she still had her other love, dance.

Lexa pressed play, and started swaying her hips to the left and right, going with the flow of ‘Right Here’ by SWV. She did a little jump and kept moving her shoulders stepping back and forward with her legs, then she switched to a doggie, she kicked and crossed stepped and repeated with her other leg. Then she dropped on the floor, standing up doing a jerk.

Lexa closed her eyes, still moving with the rhythm, the lyrics hurting her badly, because she loved Clarke so fucking much, her heart belonged to her, and only her, no doubt about it. A tear streamed down the face of the brunette, and then another, Lexa kept dancing nonetheless. Dancing her pain away.

 

She had to think about what to do with her life. If she stayed in DC she would have to suffer the fact that Clarke might love someone else.  If she went back to Alexandria, only her bad reputation and awful memories awaited her. And then there was Annapolis. Indra proposed an interesting deal and she had to think about whether to accept it.

Lexa danced and danced, the music flooding her ears with the soulful R&B song, moving with her usual style and sexiness. She turned around and did a heel toe movement and waved her arms with the flow, then she did a kick ball change. Moving now side to side. Lexa Woods was a great dancer, her hip hop freestyle was pretty good, so damn good that she won several street battles back in Alexandria when she was a kid.

Lexa wiped the tears from her face now that the track ended, she pressed stop on the music player and stashed her audio device inside her backpack, she knew what she had to do.

 

She passed the cafeteria and reached the library. When she turned to get to the bus stop she found Clarke with her crew, Raven and Octavia, and whom she thought was her boyfriend, Wells Jaha, another rich boy who came from New York to live with his daddy after his mother passed away. Wells and Clarke seemed pretty close since they met. Lexa hated to see how that guy made her laugh, and made her smile. She hated it and if she could she would slit his throat for daring to touch her woman, her ex-woman in this case.

When Lexa passed the trio, Clarke’s eyes followed the brunette silently from a distance, she knew that Lexa had been dancing in their kind of secret spot on campus by the sweat on Lexa’s forehead and shirt. That saddened her, but she got back to her conversation with Wells.

 

For Lexa, there was no point in pining for someone who she lost by her own accord, so she kept walking away from them, ignoring whatever she was feeling. She had done a tremendous amount of work, trying to become of ice, to avoid having feelings but every time she saw Clarke it was as if all her efforts went down the drain. She went back home where she found Costia and that’s what she needed right there.

“Hey.” Lexa dropped her bag on the couch and walked to hug Costia.

Costia embraced the taller girl with all her love. “I know how hard this is for you.”

“I don’t want to feel this anymore.” Lexa sobbed holding tighter her best friend in all the world.

“I know.” Costia kissed her cheek tenderly. “I know you’re hurting, but I’m right here Lexa. I’m not going anywhere. Whatever your need, I’m here.”

“Thanks. Without you I don’t know how could I deal with this.” Lexa split from Costia, still gathering strenght and avoid looking so pathetic, she didn’t want to rely so much on her friend. Costia had been there for her in the darkest moments of her life, she had done so much for Lexa.

“You know I love you, right?”

Lexa smiled, “I love you too.”

Lexa cupped her cheek, caressing with her thumb the warm skin, giving all her love to this girl she adored so much. “You love with your heart Lexa, let your heart tell you what you have to do next. Stop listening to your head and let your feelings guide you for once.”

Lexa nodded to Costia’s words, she gave her a goodbye kiss on her forehead, picked up what she was looking for and headed to her destination.

 

Lexa took a bus to George Washington Hospital. She tried not to overthink too much what she was doing during the length of the ride. Following her heart.

Once she reached her stop she went to the hospital, pausing at the information booth to ask for the person she was looking for.

“Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me where to find Dr. Abigail Griffin.”

“She’s in the cardiology department, chief of surgery.”

“Thanks.”

Lexa pushed the button of the elevator and waited for the lift to arrive.

_DING!_

Lexa pressed the floor number and waited. She felt a bit nervous, she was doing this for her own sake mostly, but she didn’t want to make things worse between Clarke’s mother and Clarke. Lexa already was the cause of a rift between mother-daughter and she hoped she could mend this relationship somehow.

_DING!_

Lexa walked out of the lift and strolled until she reached the nurses station. There were a couple of nurses talking so Lexa had to interrupt their conversation to make them attention to her.

“Hi, I’m looking for Dr. Abigail Griffin. Can you tell me where to find her?”

The nurses turned around to see who was asking. Lexa smiled awkwardly and one of the female nurses smiled back, that one came to Lexa’s aid.

“Hello there.” The woman smiled with a glint in her eyes. “What can I do for you?”

“Hey, I’m looking for Dr. Abby Griffin.”

“Dr. Griffin? She must be in her office. You have an appointment?” The nurse with brown eyes looked at Lexa from head to toe.

“Ah no no, I’m not a patient, I need to speak about a personal matter with her.”

“Hmm, no problems of the heart then?” The nurse leaned on the desk smiling. Her light brown skin and dark haired gave the nurse a look of bewilderment, of exotic paradise and sensuous sin, an ocean to be explored.

Lexa chuckled, “actually I think there is some of that.”

“Luna.” The nurse offered her hand.

“Lexa.” The brunette shook the offered hand.

“You go to the end of this hall and turn right, keep walking straight and the last door to your left is Dr. Griffin’s office.”

“Thanks. You have been very helpful, Luna.”

“My pleasure, and if the good doc can’t help you,” Luna took a pen from her station and wrote on Lexa’s hand, “make sure to give me a call.” The woman winked and let go of Lexa’s hand.

 

Lexa smiled back and walked to the instructed place. She checked her hand where a phone number was written along the name Luna. Lexa blushed, but she tried to stay cool and kept moving to where she was going to finally end this.

She knocked on the door and waited until she was allowed to enter.

“Come in.”

Lexa opened the door, “good afternoon, Dr. Griffin.”

Abby frowned, surprised by the visit. “Lexa.”

“I won’t take much of your time, doctor. I just want to give you this back.” Lexa opened her backpack and from one of its pockets she took out the folded piece of paper and gave it to Abby.

Abby opened the paper and her mouth fell open slightly. “This is the check.”

“Yes. Sorry for the hole but I stabbed it with a knife on my wall. This was the reminder for the past few months that I couldn’t be with your daughter since I have no value to you or anyone else. But I didn’t cash it because I don’t have a price, doctor. I’m about to graduate soon and when I do, I’m out of DC. I just wanted to make sure that you have your money back, just like your daughter.” There was no inflection in her voice, so calm and contained, proper, keeping her stance, eyes locked with Abby.

“Lexa, I... I never meant to hurt you or Clarke, I did what I thought was best.”

“I get it, Dr. Griffin. A lowlife with an uncertain future has no place in your sky palace, much less beside your only daughter, but you have to trust her, doctor. Clarke is capable of making decisions on her own, she’s grown up. Let her make her own mistakes, I know you’re scared to lose her like your husband, but Clarke is brave and strong and the most caring girl I’ve ever met.” Lexa slung her backpack on her shoulder and turned around to leave. “I want what is best for her, which is not me of course. Take good care of her, Dr. Griffin.”

 

Lexa walked out of the hospital looking at the phone number written in her hand. She had no idea what to do now that she was out of the Griffin’s lives. Maybe she just had to start again, or she could do what Anya said, get under someone else. Luna might fit the bill.

 

Right this instant, Lexa needed to empty her heart, throw all remnants of Clarke Griffin as far away as possible and let go. Couple of months left and she was disappearing from DC. Indra had reached a deal with Dante Wallace and now was the badass bitch of ‘Mount Weather’ and was renovating it. Indra wanted to expand and transform the business and Annapolis seemed the right place to do it. She wouldn’t have to strip again, and she would have something more stable.

No more baring her body for money. She would live a simple quiet life away from the girl of her dreams. The only girl to whom she bared her soul.

She couldn’t be right here anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now you got the other side of the story. Two more chapters to go guys, thanks for the support and hang in there a bit more.  
> If you have any questions/comments/headcanons feel free to discuss in the comments or in my tumblr askbox.
> 
> Enjoy,
> 
> Tana


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So please baby, please release me  
> If time after time your heart's growing cold  
> I'm saying, if you don't believe in believing  
> Then how could true love ever be so?
> 
> And all I want is to get through  
> So maybe you'd see that the way you're leaving me, it won't do
> 
> Paula Abdul - Blowing Kisses In The Wind

Clarke was almost done with her lab report. She was sitting with Wells in the library, each of them focused on their tasks. At least she was.

Clarke was typing on her laptop when Wells started asking a series of strange questions.

“What?”

“I’m just wondering, Clarke. Have you ever loved someone who makes your heart beat like crazy every time you see them? When you’re so close to them you feel like you can’t breathe anymore?” Wells looked at Clarke in some weird fashion that Clarke couldn’t interpret.

“Aren’t you writing a report, Wells?”

“Yeah, it’s just that I thought about this, um and I would love to hear your thoughts.” Wells dropped his pencil over his notepad and looked at Clarke, his dark eyes scanning her for anything, any sign that she was having the same feelings as him.

Clarke frowned; not understanding why on earth Wells came up with such a rare topic to discuss in the middle of their lab work, but she answered her friend nonetheless.

“Yes. I did. It was awhile ago though, but yeah, I know the feeling.” Clarke admitted, she wouldn’t say she still does love that someone, but that was not up for discussion. It’s been months, exactly 138 days ago, but who’s counting since her relationship with Lexa went to hell.

She had been going out with her wonderful squad (Octavia, Raven, Jasper and Monty) to the clubs, to their parties, to whatever activity they came up with that helped her forget, but her heart was empty. In less than 50 days the semester was going to end, and Lexa was going to graduate. Clarke was so happy for her, so damn proud of what that girl from the streets of Alexandria accomplished, and how she wanted to share that happiness with her, but knew she couldn’t, not after Lexa betrayed her love, not after Lexa sold them to her mother.

 

“You did?” Wells interrupted her thoughts, he was kind of surprised.

“Yup, so what? What’s with you Wells, you like someone? Wanna tell me who it is?” Clarke elbowed his friend, teasing him.

Wells smiled awkwardly, “no, it’s not that. I was thinking about it.” He changed the topic rather fast.

Clarke wondered what Wells was trying to say, but she dismissed him right away and continued working on her report.

Once Clarke concluded her report she said farewell to Wells and went back to campus looking for her friends.  She was hungry by now, and texted them, asking to meet in the coffee shop closest to the university.

She grabbed her car keys and headed to the parking lot, where she crossed paths with her ex-girlfriend. She was heading to the bus stop, wearing her earbuds and immersed in her own little world. Clarke reached her car and got in the driver’s seat, she didn’t turn on the engine, at least not yet, she observed Lexa from her spot.

The long legs covered in black jeans, her red shirt over the sun-kissed skin with a thin layer of sweat, her brown curls and braids loose flowing with the wind.  They didn’t share classes anymore, which helped ease Clarke’s pain, but nonetheless she missed her, and she hated her. There were so many conflicting feelings inside Clarke that she was in need of a magical pill to make her forget once and for all.

Lexa was still the simple girl she met, studying and working. It didn’t make sense to Clarke since Lexa had money now, why wouldn’t she buy herself a car or something? Clarke had been wondering for a while why Lexa kept living in that neighborhood, working in the club. She assumed that Lexa wanted to keep the money hidden from others, and to avoid calling attention to herself so she kept her routine. And yet she was wondering if she used the money to pay for her apartment or her school. At least she used the money well, Clarke thought. But what Lexa did with the money was a huge question mark.

Lexa disappeared from her view.  Clarke turned on the engine and drove to meet her friends.

 

Clarke was drinking her coffee while Octavia and Raven discussed their ideas for tonight. Her friends had been nothing but supportive these past months, always there for Clarke even when sometimes she did stupid things, like getting wasted and kissing random people or making a fool of herself singing ‘Since U Been Gone’ at karaoke night.  Faking it as if she had really moved on.

Clarke had been in a downward spiral of self-destruction until her friends came to her aid and lifted her up. Clarke did some regrettable things, but she understood that she had been acting like a spoiled brat. Thanks to the two best friends life could grant her she was back on track again, at least as best as one with a broken heart could be.

“No no it’s gonna be just the three of us tonight. Lincoln is busy at the club doing renovations since they’re aiming now for another type of clientele. Less pervs and that kind of stuff, I guess. I have really no clue what’s going on there.” Octavia commented, and then she took a sip of her Frappuccino.

“Alright, ladies night it is!” Raven smiled expectantly. “It’s been awhile since the three of us went out.”

The last time the three of them went out was for Clarke’s birthday, the night she met Lexa.

“Yes, some time ago. Let’s go dance and the rest we can decide later.” Clarke smiled, if it wasn’t for these two she’d probably have drowned in hate and anger. She was so thankful for them. The least she could do was love him and care for them in the same manner.

“Great, tonight we’re going to go wild ladies, so get ready.” Raven winked at her friends.

“It’s all set  then, the night is ours!” Octavia cheered.

___________

The night was full of stars, and the wind caressed Clarke’s skin. She walked through the crowded sidewalk into the VIP line to get inside the nightclub. She just hoped to have fun and relax with her friends. Or else she was going to drive herself mad with curiosity, she wanted to ask Octavia about what was going on at ‘Mount Weather’ since the few comments that Octavia dropped were about several changes they were making. Clarke was so curious, but she was afraid to ask and make them think she was interested, much less go to the strip club to find out. She had to preserve her pride.

Clarke entered ‘The Dropship’ which was full of young people dancing and drinking. She moved to the exclusive area of the club where she reached her reserved table, where no one could bother them. She greeted her two friends when they arrived and began their adventure for the night.

 

The three girls began the night with some shots, while talking about their plans once the semester concluded.

Octavia was planning to go to NY to visit her mother and brother Bellamy, while Raven was going back to California to be with her mom.

Clarke had zero plans, she had to keep working at the clinic to keep learning and helping.  Of course, her mother wanted her to get involved more with the hospital practices, however, Clarke really wanted to avoid spending time with her mother. Things between Clarke and Abby had been pretty cold, polite but cold; Clarke couldn’t even dare to look at her mother, both had dinner at different times and Clarke ignored her mother most of the time. Her mother had been trying to no avail to bring them close again, but Clarke simply couldn’t trust her, not after she blew her happiness away.

 

“I’m going to the bar for more booze.” Clarke gulped down her last shot and headed to the bar. She crossed the sea of people walking and dancing, until she reached her destination.

Clarke ordered.  Once she got her liquor, she was making her way back to her table when she accidently stepped on someone.

“Oh sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Both girls said in unison.

“Clarke?”

“Oh hey Luna, what a coincidence.” Clarke smiled at the nurse who was so friendly and helpful. Luna was also under her mother’s direction so they saw each other whenever Clarke was at the hospital.

“It is, Clarke. Good to see you. I was hoping to see you more at the hospital since your mother is taking charge of the Annapolis new surgical facility she’s developing with Mr. Kane.”

“Nah, I rather work at a local clinic. I don’t want people to think I’m having it easy just because my mom is one of the top surgeons in the country.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. But we can’t wait to have you, Clarke. Are you alone?”

“No, I came here with my friends. You with the cardio nurse squad?”

“Actually I’m on a date.”

“Hey that’s great.”

“I’m excited, just met her last week when she went looking for Dr. Griffin.” Luna giggled.

“My mom? Well at least she’s doing something good for once. If you want, you can hang out with us in the VIP area. You know, the more the merrier, right?” Clarke pointed to where she was with her friends.

“Gotcha. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

Clarke nodded to the nurse and finally returned to her area.

 

Octavia, Raven and Clarke already were finishing their beers when Luna waved at Clarke.

Clarke smiled. “I invited Luna to hang with us, she’s a nurse who works with my mom and she’s really fun.”

“Nurse, hmmm, that sounds exciting. I might need someone who can check my heart beat.” Raven grinned.

“Oh my god, Reyes. Keep it together, will ya?” Octavia rolled her eyes.

“Hey Luna, welcome!” Clarke stood up to greet the young woman when she saw the green eyes that haunted her dreams every single night.

“Hey, this is my date, Lexa. Lexa, this is my boss’s daughter, Clarke, and her friends.” Luna introduced her but the trio on the table were shocked, Octavia gulped down the remaining beer in her glass and Raven looked back and forth between Clarke and Lexa.

Lexa froze; the dancer had kept her distance from Clarke after so many difficult months of bickering and saying hurtful things to one another. Lexa wanted to be friends with the blonde, but realistically speaking she knew she could never be friends with Clarke, not when all you thought about was kissing your so-called friend and shagging them against a wall.

“Clarke.” Lexa said, her voice small, careful.

“Oh you know her?” Luna held Lexa’s hand in hers.

“Yeah, kind of, we were um, we shared a class last semester.” Was all Clarke could say, her heart was pumping harder. The sight of Lexa was enough to take her breath away.

“Heeeyyy, please seat down. Take a glass ladies.” Raven quickly stood up trying to make things less awkward.

“I’m going to get more beers, be right back.” Clarke passed the guests and moved as far away from them as possible. Clarke was not expecting this. Lexa on a date.

_They met last week?_

_Why did Lexa go to speak with my mom?_

 

Clarke sat on a barstool and ordered more beer. She closed her eyes and let the music fill her head with its sounds while the bartender fulfilled her order, but it was pretty hard when the girl who betrayed her trust, the girl who made her fall in love like an idiot was right here on a date. Clarke had so many questions but she couldn’t ask them, not when Luna was dating her ex and Clarke wouldn’t like to ruin that.

She paid and returned with a bucket of beers for her table, and was focused on avoiding mentioning that Lexa had not been just her classmate, but her girlfriend too.

“So,” Clarke sat in front of Luna and Lexa, making eye contact, “is this your first date?” Clarke asked casually, just making some conversation. Octavia and Raven preferred to drink their cold beers watching the interaction with interest.

“No, this is our third date. We’re still getting to know each other.” Luna smiled at Lexa who returned the smile stiffly.

“That’s great, better to know if it’s going to be worth it, right? Instead of wasting months and then realize that all was a lie.”

Octavia choked on her drink, Raven gave small pats on her back to keep her friend from choking by the saltiness of Clarke’s comment.

“That sounds pretty dramatic Clarke, don’t you think?” Raven spoke in a relaxed tone, trying to get things back to less controversial themes.

Luna laughed, “but she’s right, my fave dancer here is taking things slow, right Lexa?”

Lexa nodded, but her face was still serious, her eyes scanning Clarke’s.

“Your fave dancer?” Clarke asked, she drank from her beer, this was not what she wanted to hear, Lexa was _her_ dancer, she couldn’t believe Lexa did a lap dance for Luna. Well, Lexa was a stripper but Clarke wanted to believe that those private lap dances that they shared in her bedroom were only theirs. She was going to need something stronger than a beer tonight.

“Lexa is a really good dancer, seriously, I have never ever met someone with her moves.” Luna commented while entangling her fingers with Lexa.

“Like a professional dancer you mean?” Octavia acted surprised like she had no idea, and started to giggle.

Clarke wanted to strangle Octavia, why would she want to talk about such a delicate topic that Clarke knew was going to surface if she pushed the right buttons.

“As a stripper.” Lexa offered, following the game that had been played.

“Yup, she’s working at a strip club which I haven’t had the pleasure to visit yet because of renovations. But I have seen her moves on the dance floor and I know she’s beyond good.”

 _At least she still hasn’t seen Lexa stripping or else she would fall irrevocably in love with her._ Clarke couldn’t stop those betraying thoughts, and so she scolded herself mentally.

Clarke also realized how stupid she had been when Lexa said the same thing in front of her mother. Luna acted naturally, not hiding that fact of her life but accepting it, supporting her like it was no big deal.

That had been her first mistake in their relationship.

 

“I dated a stripper once.” Clarke said, looking right at Lexa, measuring how far they could go with this game of words. “She had nice moves too, but this one was more interested in my money.”

Lexa remained composed, and Clarke wanted to slap her to make her feel anything at all, to make her react, but there was nothing in return. Only those emerald eyes that were as dark as the night stared back at her.

“Really? Sorry to hear that. Anyone you know Lex?” Luna creased her brows, and looked at Lexa.

 _Lex? Did she just call Lexa, Lex? Really?_ Clarke wasn’t expecting that level of intimacy. They supposedly started dating recently, unless they just lied. It wouldn’t be the first time that Lexa lied though.

“Maybe.” Lexa answered, still looking at Clarke.

“Aaaanywayyy, let’s dance ladies, we didn’t come here to chat.” Octavia pulled Raven to the dance floor. Clarke followed the two girls frustrated.

 

The trio walked to the center of the dance floor and once they found a good spot, they began to dance.

Luna and Lexa were dancing too, they weren’t very close to them but Clarke could see them, and she disliked it. She hated how Lexa held Luna so close to her, the way her hands rested on her hips. She knew Lexa was beyond good, Lexa was fucking amazing when she danced. She could dance to absolutely anything and Clarke had wanted to learn from her until everything went to shit.

 

The music was loud, contagious, rhythmical, bodies moved, jumped, contorted with the beat. Couples danced together, groups of friends made small circles and danced with each other, it was crazy and fun. The heat was intoxicating, the temperature on the rise. Rich college kids were having some fun and trying to get as drunk as possible was all there was in the nightclub.

Clarke caught that Lexa had split from Luna and went to the bar; Clarke excused herself for a bathroom break and followed the brunette.

Lexa sat in the corner of the bar and ordered water, Clarke took the empty seat and ordered a beer.

“Luna is pretty nice, huh? But she isn’t rich if that’s what you’re looking for.” Clarke accepted the glass given, paid for her beverage and took a sip.

“Yes, she is. And I really don’t want to fight anymore Clarke. I’m so tired of this push and pull we’ve been having for months. I know you don’t want to be friends either and that’s okay, at least we could be civil to one another.” Lexa turned around to look at the dancing crowd while drinking her water.

“A truce? I guess we can cease the fire. Doesn’t mean you’re forgiven.”

“I’m not asking for forgiveness, Clarke. I just want to keep things between us as peaceful as possible.”

“Okay, but before anything else I need to know why you went to see my mother?” Clarke didn’t waste time and asked the real important question.

“That’s between me and Dr. Griffin.” Lexa drank more water. Eyeing Luna having fun in the crowd. “Where’s your boyfriend?” Lexa asked suddenly.

“Who?” Clarke was caught off base, a question for a question she guessed. “Oh! You mean Wells, he’s studying for an exam.” Clarke drank more, letting the flavor of her booze erase the bile she was feeling by saying such lies.

“Shame, he could have danced with you instead.” Lexa commented while satiating her thirst, she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and drank more water.

“Yes, such a shame. He’s an incredible dancer, Wells could have shown his badass moves on this dance floor, probably making Luna change her opinion of your skills in the process.”

At that, Lexa turned to face Clarke, she arched her brow. “Is he?” Lexa asked very seriously, and it was the first time that night that Clarke got a reaction from her ex. Clarke smirked satisfied that she could get to her.

_Jackpot, now prove me wrong Lexa. Prove. Me. Wrong._

Lexa pondered for a second, looking into Clarke’s eyes, then her lips, she swallowed and looked back into her eyes. Lexa gulped down the rest of her water and stood up.

Clarke stood up too, the two of them locking their eyes together in a silent battle. Lexa kept moving until she was a step away from Clarke.

“Yes.” Clarke affirmed, which was another awful lie, Wells couldn’t distinguish his left foot from his right.

Lexa narrowed her eyes, debating whether to show Clarke how wrong she was or retreat.

_Come on come on come on prove me wrong you stubborn stripper._

“Luna’s waiting.” Lexa stated dryly and returned to the mass of people dancing.

_Shit!_

Retreat it was.

 

Clarke went back to her friends after that moment with Lexa. She was a couple of meters away from Lexa and Luna who were talking close while the loud music blasted.

“Beautiful Stranger’ by Madonna was being played, and Clarke and company got crazy with the beat. Moving her hips and twisting her booty to the rhythm, she raised her eyes and set them on Lexa, and Lexa gazed back at her.

Clarke couldn’t tear her eyes off of Lexa, moving as best as she could. Lexa danced with Luna, but all her attention was on Clarke. It was ridiculous that both were looking at each other as if they were dancing with one another, but at a distance

Clarke smirked, she felt pretty good about herself, if she could keep Lexa’s attention - her devil in disguise, her beautiful stranger whom she met in a strip club, then nothing was going to ruin this night for her. Not even Lexa’s current date.

 

The slow round of songs began, most songs were kind of romantic so Clarke and company returned to their seats to keep drinking while Lexa remained with Luna, holding her close, their bodies moving with the music. Slow, slow, slow.

‘Blowing Kisses in the Wind’ by Paula Abdul was playing and Clarke felt her jealousy increase exponentially when Luna leaned into Lexa’s shoulder, resting her head in the crook of her neck. Clarke turned around to avoid seeing such a spectacle; this was what was going to ruin the night for her. She was pissed and she shouldn’t be, Lexa was a traitor, a liar and she didn’t deserve Clarke feeling miserable about it.

“Let’s play some Russian roulette pong ladies. I wanna get wasted.” Clarke suggested while she moved as far away from Luna and Lexa dancing, who were so damn close, as if they were one.

Octavia shrugged, “Clarke you don’t have to stay with them, let Lexa have her date and we can go to karaoke or somewhere else.”

Raven was more than excited to play, “Come on O, Clarke doesn’t have to go anywhere. She has every right to be here. I’m game.” Raven stood up and cracked her fingers ready to compete.

“Let’s play!” Clarke walked to the bar with Raven while Octavia just prayed that her friends didn’t get too wasted, last time she had to clean her car thanks to Raven who was feeling ill after Clarke kicked her ass in beer pong.

“Can you buy the vodka O, since you’re the one taking us home?” Clarke asked.

“Sure, you two have fun.” Octavia smiled ready to see her friends play to the death.

 

The girls arranged 6 cups on each side of their table, 5 cups were filled with water and 1 with vodka. The first who drinks the vodka loses the game. Simple.

Raven and Clarke began to play by throwing the ping pong ball into the cups randomly, until Raven hit the vodka.

“Uff that was intense.” Raven shook her head after downing the liquor. “Ready for round two, Griffin.”

Again Raven lost. “Not fair, this is more about luck than anything, let’s see who can last with vodka pong.” Raven suggested.

“Bring it!” Clarke dared.

The blonde was very confident in her drinking game, she was the reigning champion of beer pong, and she was sure that she could hold the vodka.

Raven and Clarke played, attracting other college kids who watched the fierce drinking game. Clarke was a good shot, and Raven battled as best as she could, but Clarke was relentless and in the end Raven lost.

 

“Alright bitches who wanna play vodka pong against my buddy? 50 bucks and you’re in.” Octavia asked around to the college kids around.

“Well well well I feel lucky tonight.” Jasper came out from the crowd with Monty, who were as usual hanging out together.

Clarke snorted, “Jasper are you sure you wanna lose some cash?”

“Ha ha, we’ll see about that Clarke.” Jasper passed 50$ to Octavia.

Clarke and Jasper started to play but Clarke was master of the pong, Jasper was on his 4th shot when he quit. Monty had to take Jasper away before the poor guy fell on his face.

“Anyone else?”

“Me.” Lexa came with a 50$ and gave it to Octavia.

“But to give Clarke a break I suggest body shots.” Luna smiled cheekily.

“I don’t need a break, but I don’t have anyone to—“ Clarke began.

“I’m in.” Raven interrupted her friend and winked in total confidence.

Clarke’s eyes were wide, Lexa was not a huge drinker as far as she knew, and second, doing shots with Luna was going to be really interesting to watch. Or painful, she was about to find out.

“Okay then. Select your drinker.” Octavia said to team Lunexa.

“I’ll drink.” Lexa responded.

“We begin with belly button, neck and cleavage. Limes on mouth, sugar whenever you want. Last person standing wins.” Octavia announced and people opened some space for the couples to begin.

“Alright Reyes, keep me on my feet.” Clarke removed her jacket to feel fresh and ready to tackle the game. Clarke was pretty good holding down her liquor, and she wanted to kick Lexa’s ass.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Raven got ready and laid down on a table, Luna did the same.

Clarke checked around and Lexa was going to drink the shots, which obviously meant a challenge. And she was more than willing to accept it. “I see you’re putting my mom’s money to good use.” Clarke approached Lexa. Trying to rub salt in the wound.

Lexa smiled in that way that did things to Clarke. “Good luck, Clarke.” And she went to her partner.

 

“Come on Clarke!” Octavia cheered. They were currently on their 7th shot. Clarke was dizzy but Lexa looked truly sick.

Clarke licked the sugar from Raven’s neck and drank the shot between Raven’s breasts, then she took the lime from Raven’s mouth.

“I got this.” Clarke slurred.

“Keep your eyes open, princess. Look at me!” Raven pep talked her partner in crime.

The competition attracted more people, meaning that bets were made, managed by Monty of course. The money at play was now around $300, the number of students who were watching the two girls battle to total drunkenness was ridiculous.

Lexa was sweating, it was clear she was way past her limit, but she didn’t give up. She took from Luna’s breasts her shot after licking the sugar from the wrist, then went for the lime in the nurse’s mouth, kissing her in the process, and Clarke had to admit that it was hot. Seeing Lexa kiss someone else was a huge turn on, the way Lexa’s jaw flexed, the way she rested her lips and moved them, it was a fine work of art and if she weren’t so wasted she’d make a sketch of it right away. Not that Clarke wanted to do anything with being under Lexa, hell no.

 _She betrayed you_ , was the mantra Clarke used to keep from ruining  her concentration.

Lexa split from Luna, she stumbled but was still standing strong. Her eyes were set on winning.

Clarke was going for the 8th shot, she turned to look at Lexa, who was clearly not in good shape, at least by her glassy eyes. Lexa was good at hiding her feelings, her body language was always stoic, fearful, but those eyes that Clarke learned to interpret some time ago couldn’t lie to her. She knew Lexa was making a huge effort now, not that she was in great shape to continue either, but Lexa was going to get seriously sick if she kept going. Lexa was a hardhead, she was going to keep pushing herself until one of them fainted or worse, and Clarke really wanted to stop those two from kissing more, she was done with this. If Lexa wanted to prove something she already accomplished it.

“I’m out.” Clarke sat on the bar stool and drank a huge glass of water trying to ease the huge amount of alcohol. The coldness of the liquid made her senses fire up.

“Damn, that was some competition. Anyway congrats to Lexa.” Octavia handed the brunette the money after bets were distributed, but Lexa was not moving, Clarke noticed and went to her side.

“Uh Luna hold the money for her will you? I’m taking Lexa to the restroom.” Clarke pulled from Lexa’s arm and took her to the ladies room.

 

“You’re a stubborn moron, did you know that? You shouldn’t have played.” Clarke guided the very sick dancer to the closest toilet. She wasn’t good either but at least she was used to this kind of alcoholic drinking rampage. Lexa wasn’t.

“I wanted to spend some time with you” Lexa chortled, “my lips are buzzing.” She burped, “oh god, I don’t feel so... Uugh!” Lexa puked her life in the toilet. Clarke held her hair while the girl got rid of the alcohol in her system. She was seated on the floor, her skin clammy with perspiration when she was done.

“Sorry Clarke.” Lexa leaned on the toilet door, and closed her eyes.

Clarke stared at Lexa, her heart skipped a beat when she saw her stripper in such a state. Lexa was a complete idiot and she loved her even when the betrayal still hurt. Clarke wondered when she was going to forget her completely.

“Yeah, you’re always sorry but still manage to fuck things up, Lexa.” Clarke stood up, grabbed a paper towel and moistened it with water. She sat beside Lexa and passed the damp towel on her forehead and mouth to clean her up.

 

Once Lexa was feeling more stable, Clarke walked her out of the bathroom, and back into the club.

“She okay?” Raven asked.

“Yes, she’ll survive.” Clarke looked back at Lexa who was seriously looking like shit right at the moment.

Luna came to meet the girls, she gave back the money to Lexa. “Well, it was pretty crazy, huh?”

“Yes, it was.” Clarke didn’t want to let go of Lexa. Much less let Luna take care of her.

“It was a fun night, thanks so much guys. I got to take a cab now Lexa, you coming?” Luna looked at the wasted brunette with concern.

 _She’s not coming with you anytime._ Clarke thought before saying anything else. “Don’t worry Luna, we’re gonna make sure she goes back home safe. Octavia will take us back.” Clarke offered a kind smile while Octavia arched her brow not comprehending what Clarke was thinking.

“You sure?”

“Of course,” Octavia smiled and hugged Raven in complicity, “my job here is to make sure all these ladies get home safely.”

“Okay. Lexa, talk to you later?”

“Sure.” Lexa offered a faint smile, Luna leaned in and kissed Lexa on the corner of her mouth before departing.

“Okay Clarke what the hell?” Raven looked at her friend with a serious expression.

“What? Lexa needs a ride.”

“I cannnn get one on my own, Clarke.” Lexa protested, tripping on her own words, she tried to yank out of Clarke’s grasp, but she was so drunk she was going to fall.

“Steady. You idiot.” Clarke pulled Lexa close to her again. “Let’s go, O.”

 

Octavia dropped Raven first, then she headed to the address given by Clarke. Once they reached the old apartment complex, Clarke helped Lexa get out of the car.

“You go ahead, O.”

“Are you out of your mind? Clarke there’s no need to do this. I’ll wait for you.”

“Lexa needs help, I can’t leave her like this, O.”

“Clarke, you’re drunk as fuck too. I don’t think there’s much you can do anyway. I’ll take you home.” Octavia looked with some preoccupation at her friend.

“Don’t worry, I swear I’ll call you tomorrow. Go ahead, I’ll call a cab later when I’m sure Lexa’s okay.” Clarke smiled and slung Lexa’s arms around her, she circled the dancer’s waist so she could carry some of her weight.

 

Octavia departed leaving Clarke and Lexa in the stripper’s apartment. Clarke helped Lexa go up the stairs. They stumbled on their way up, but Clarke was more used to this drunken state than Lexa.

When the two girls reached the apartment, Clarke looked at Lexa who was pretty pale, and asked her for the keys.

Lexa fumbled in her pants trying to get the keys out to no avail, Lexa was laughing at how difficult it was to take the keys out of her pants. Clarke gave a hand to Lexa and finally could open the door.

The apartment was dark, only a tiny lamp turned on lighted their way inside, it was silent so Clarke assumed Anya was nowhere near the place, which made her sigh in relief. She walked Lexa back to her room and dropped her in her bed.

“Okay Commander, let’s get your boots off.” Lexa lifted her long legs so Clarke could pull the boots, once she was done she removed her socks.

“Are ya going to take advantage of me, Clarke of the sky people?” Lexa laughed at her dumb comment.

“Sky people? Hell, now you’re talking gibberish.” Clarke went back to the kitchen and picked up the water jug, she returned to the bedroom and offered Lexa a cup.

“Drink all of it. Slowly.”

Lexa did as told, the water hydrating the girl and helping her body deal with the mess in her system. “It’s tooo hooot.” Lexa removed her shirt and pants clumsily, leaving her in black underwear with lace. A very nice set of lingerie.

“Sonofabitch” Clarke was open-mouthed. The sexy undergarments were clearly designed to get her laid. Clarke thanked the lord for getting rid of Luna or else who knows what those two would have done tonight. Or maybe Clarke was extrapolating and thinking too much on Lexa’s underwear.

“I feel like craaap.” Lexa mumbled.

Clarke touched her forehead making sure that she had no fever. “You’ll feel better in the morning. Now get under the blankets or you’ll get a cold.”

Lexa got comfortable inside the bed. “Don’t go, stay.” She begged.

 

Clarke stifled a yawn, the heaviness of her eyelids were signaling that she was going to shut down soon so Clarke removed her shoes and claimed the empty side of Lexa’s bed. “Until you fall asleep.”

She was going to have a huge headache tomorrow and she was tired after helping Lexa get inside her apartment. But she wanted to stay with the brunette, to watch over her. Which was really stupid considering all the shit they had gone through.

Lexa rolled on her side to face Clarke. “I touhght you did'nt want nto be friends with mae anymore” Lexa slurred, she was pretty smashed.

“I don’t. I still hate you.” Clarke’s eyes were closing slowly.

“Yhes, but yaou trust that I won't try fanything zon you.” Lexa smiled, and giggled like a kid.

Clarke offered a smile back; Lexa was pretty cute when disinhibited by the alcohol. Lexa usually was reserved, she always kept her thoughts to herself, it took such a long time for Lexa to be more open with Clarke.

“Yeah, trust that if you try anything I would punch you in the face.” Clarke warned.

Lexa laughed again. “Okay.”

 

Clarke started to relax, the bed felt familiar, the sensation welcoming, it has been some time since she last shared a bed with Lexa Woods.

Lexa started to laugh again.

“Oh gosh, Lexa stop that. Sleep!” Clarke mumbled.

“I can’t shleep. Everything moves so funny and your eyes are so briiiiight and your lipsssss are so kissable.” Lexa giggled non-stop.

Clarke rolled her eyes and propped on her elbow to take a better look at Lexa. “Shut up, sleep already!” Clarke removed a lock of curly chestnut hair from Lexa’s face and tucked it behind her ear.

Lexa opened her eyes fighting the body’s desire to sleep. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

Lexa tore her gaze away from Clarke’s stare, looking at the ceiling. “Luna is niiiice, but she’s not you.” Lexa chuckled, “I wanna forget ya, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Clarke caressed the chiseled jaw of the brunette, who then returned her jade eyes to her. “It’s okay. That makes two of us.”

Lexa laughed and mumbled something that Clarke couldn’t quite catch. “Ai hod yu in, Klark.”

“The fuck?”

Lexa started to cackle in laughter, “I made that up!”

“Yeah clearly, what does it mean?”

“I love you Clarke” Lexa kept smiling half in reality half in a dream world.

Clarke sighed, “you’re very drunk, and a complete asshole for saying that.”

Lexa rolled again on her shoulder to look at Clarke and smiled sweetly, her cheeks were blushed. “Sorry.”

“Okay you have to stop apologizing, now please sleep. I’m tired and I want to go home.”

“Can I have a goodnight kiss?” Lexa asked in the most childlike innocent voice she had.

Clarke laughed. “Seriously?”

Lexa nodded. “If you do I swear I’ll sleep, Clarke.”

Clarke was defeated and pretty drunk as well, she knew she wasn’t going to deny her that. She leaned in and gave Lexa a peck on the lips.

 

Okay, that was supposed to be a peck on the lips but Clarke remained glued to her mouth, the familiar taste mixed with the alcohol claiming her. Lexa got into the kiss and sucked her lower lip, her hand already cupping Clarke’s cheek.  It felt so right to do this, kissing this girl in this bed, it was soft and sweet, it was all Lexa. Clarke opened up for Lexa, feeling a tongue inside, warm and seductive.  A tender kiss, like the wind caressing wildflowers at night. A drunken flower that is.

_She betrayed you._

Clarke woke up from her stupor and pulled back scared by how quickly her body reacted to Lexa, at how fast she was wet for her, and how desperate she had wanted to rip off the lace material on Lexa’s skin to love her. “Good night, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled like a tiny baby who just got told her favorite story before bed, and rolled again on her side to sleep.

Clarke could see how little by little Lexa started to relax until she was fast asleep.

Clarke sat on the bed, still looking at Lexa, at her back tattoo and its intricate patterns adorning her back, it was a nice view. Thinking about what went wrong with their relationship and she totally got it, Lexa needed the money, her family needed the money. She couldn’t be mad at her for choosing her family first, if it was her, Clarke would have probably done the same.

It hurt that Lexa took the deal, accepted the money and pushed her away, like nothing that they shared in the past months was worth anything. Accepting her mom’s money was what Clarke couldn’t forgive.

Clarke felt her body so heavy, her head was fuzzy and her lips still had the taste of Lexa in her. Things were already confusing and her drunken declaration of love was driving Clarke nuts. She wanted to believe, she really did, but the stripper couldn’t be forgiven.

Not yet.

 

Clarke felt so warm and comfortable, it had been a crazy night, she knew she went to the nightclub with her crew, they danced and then Luna and Lexa.

Clarke peeled her eyes open.This was not her room. She started to panic until she felt a steady breath on the nape of her neck, and a very strong slender arm held her over her hip. And she had to wonder why was she in her underwear?

_Shit!_

Clarke tensed, she was being cuddled by none other than her ex-girlfriend, both semi-naked.

_FUCK!_

Clarke slid slowly away from Lexa’s grasp and get off the bed, she put on her clothes, then boots and tiptoed her way out of the bedroom. She closed the door of Lexa’s room silently and sighed that she was out, she turned around and—

“Good Morning, Clarke.”

“Anya. Um hey, ah, I um, this is not what you think it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next wednesday is the final update. I do really hope that you have enjoyed this story so far. As usual you can always drop me a message on my tumblr inbox to discuss headcanons, AU's, snippets or just talk about anything you want or drop a comment below.
> 
> Thanks a lot and see you next week after the finish line.
> 
> Tana or Carmen whatevs you wanna call me :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you recall, not long ago  
> We would walk on the sidewalk  
> Innocent, remember?  
> All we did was care for each other
> 
> But the night was warm  
> We were bold and young  
> All around the wind blows  
> We would only hold on to let go
> 
> Lean On -Major Lazer with DJ Snake feat. MØ
> 
> Last song of this fic guys, you know what to do --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqeW9_5kURI

“Why shouldn’t I snap your neck right this instant?” Anya left her coffee cup on the small table and stood up, analyzing Clarke’s every movement.

“I didn’t do anything Anya. I was helping Lexa and—”

“Wrong answer!” Anya growled. “You lucky bitch are so privileged, that even if I killed you for trespassing on my property, I probably would end up in jail.  That’s the only reason why I haven’t slapped your mother for humiliating my sister. Rich people, I am fed up with your kind.” Anya took another step towards Clarke.  The blonde moved, trying to keep Anya at a distance.

“Anya I don’t know what went on between my mom and Lexa, but I swear my intentions were honest. She was very drunk and I—“

“You really don’t get it, do you Clarke?” Anya crossed her arms in front of her chest, and closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “Lexa gave everything up for you.”

“No she didn’t, she chose you, not me.” Clarke swallowed the painful memories, of the hurtful words that marked her forever. She was being a selfish moron too, but she was never going to admit that to Anya.  Anya didn’t need any more reasons to hate her.

Anya face palmed, sighing. “You have no idea, do you? No wonder you’ve been acting like a spoiled hoe.”

“Okay enough with the insults! I’m lost here. What are you saying?” Clarke creased her brows, she was pretty sure they were talking about different things now.

“It is not for me to say. You want the truth? Speak with your rich bitch of a mother. Then you’ll understand that in the end it is you who’s not worthy of my sister. Now get your fancy ass out of my house!”

Clarke did as instructed, left the apartment and called a cab to get home, but not before texting Octavia that she was okay.

Clarke got home, her mother was still absent since she was working on the development of a medical facility sponsored by The Ark. She had been in Annapolis since last week, right after she spoke with Lexa, which was very suspicious, now more than ever since Anya told her whatever happened between her mom and Lexa was important.  Clarke needed to know why her mother and her ex-girlfriend met. She went straight to her bedroom, removed her clothes that smelled of booze and reeked of desperation and took a quick shower. She texted her mother telling her they needed to speak as soon as she returned before slipping under the covers of her bed.  She was missing Lexa’s warmth already. This bed felt too big for her alone; she preferred Lexa’s smaller bed a thousand times more.

 _Lexa Lexa Lexa Lexa_ was all Clarke had in her head. Lexa was instant arousal when she danced, and even though she danced with Luna, Clarke couldn’t stop herself from watching the sultry movements of her hips, the way she touched Luna. It was torture. And after sharing her bed last night she was more than aroused. Even though she couldn’t quite remember the exact point when she removed her clothes she assumed nothing happened, because:

  1.     Lexa was a gentlewoman who always asked for consent first and,
  2.     Lexa was extremely drunk and couldn’t even walk in a straight line yesterday, much less be coordinated to fingerfuck her properly.



But Clarke had wanted to. She turned on her music player and their song started to play. Yes, Clarke and Lexa had a song, the first song Lexa danced for Clarke on her birthday.

“Fuck this.” Clarke slid her hand inside her underwear feeling the pool of hot liquid already soaking her panties.

_God forgive me please._

She closed her eyes and the song took her to that time in the private booth, where she was seated at her mercy. Her eyes lingered on the tan skin moving with so much sensuality that she could have melted right there.

_I don’t wanna think about it now._

It had been so long, she needed this release but more than anything she needed Lexa between her legs.

_______________

Clarke never spoke about what happened that night with her friends, much less with Lexa. It was like that small moment of intimacy between the two never existed. Lexa kept focused on her own things while Clarke did the same. Clarke assumed that Lexa didn’t remember since she was so smashed that night, therefore she didn’t touch the topic either. But she wanted to remember so bad what occurred and how she ended up in her undies cuddled with the brunette. No matter how hard she tried everything was a blur. She did remember that she helped Lexa walk up the stairs, and then she gave water to hydrate the dancer. She knew she started to fall asleep while Lexa was laughing like crazy, and then black. Nothing.

 

Days flowed, moved at a steady pace, time unbeatable, and relentless. The two lovers avoided each other, walked away from one another, and ignored the calling of their souls. Nights covered their loneliness, enveloping them in sheets of solitude and hurt. She never felt so alone, not even Octavia, Raven or Wells could make Clarke feel differently.

She missed her smile, her voice, her scent, everything about Lexa Woods had become a part of Clarke, part of her soul but at the same time she hated her. How could Lexa be so cruel, so cold cutting her with words that annihilated her heart?

Finally her mother returned and after waiting for what felt like an eternity, she was going to find out what happened between Lexa and her mom.

 

It was breakfast time and Jackson had already served them pancakes with choco-chips and strawberries. Clarke waited until the maids and Jackson left them alone to ask the question that had been haunting her.

“You texted that you needed to speak with me.” Abby bit her pancake, trying to sound casual, but she knew where this was going.

“What happened between you and Lexa, mom? I want the truth.”

Abby left her fork on the plate and looked at Clarke, she hesitated. She looked away from Clarke, licked her lips, anticipating the huge conversation that was coming, debating whether to go around the bushes or say it. Abby cut to the chase. “She never took the money.”

Clarke was going to bite another piece of her pancake when she paused with the fork mid-air; she put the fork back on her plate, and looked at her mother in utter confusion. “What do you mean by that? She did, she told me herself!”

“Lexa never cashed the check, honey. She gave it back three weeks ago.”

Clarke stood up from the table “WHAT? She had that check for months and she never, she never…” Clarke was speechless.

Abby sighed, trying to come up with words that could fix the damage she had done. “I made a mistake, Clarke. I judged her and I’m sorry. I thought she wanted to take advantage of you; you’re my only daughter and I didn’t react well knowing Lexa’s background. Lexa had such a hard life and I didn’t want that for you. So I did what I thought was in your best interest.”

Abby took check from her pocket and left it on the table, Clarke took it and in horror saw that indeed, it was the check. “She didn’t cash 50k? What the hell is wrong with her? This could have helped her.”

“That’s what I thought, but she showed me how wrong I was. You were the most important part of the deal for her, not the money, Clarke. Lexa doesn’t believe she deserves you and I said things that made sure she truly believed that. In the end that girl only wanted for you to have a great life without hardships.”

Clarke sat again in defeat. “I was devastated by her betrayal and Lexa poured salt in the wound because she wants what’s best for me? What kind of bullshit is that?” And then she remembered Anya’s words.

_“In the end it is you who’s not worthy of my sister.”_

Clarke’s lips trembled, now everything Anya said made sense, Lexa gave up a stable life, a life free of debts and financial freedom because she cared for her. She gave up everything, she gave up her love. The tears streamed down her face, an ugly sob came out of her throat, her heart hurt knowing that all this time Lexa had been doing what she thought was the best for Clarke, freeing her of a life with a girl from the streets.

“Oh my god, what have I done?”

_____________

Clarke spent days thinking about what to do now. She couldn’t approach Lexa, they stopped talking to each other, particularly after what happened between them after the nightclub shenanigan. Clarke couldn’t even look Lexa in the eye after acting like a complete asshole for the past months. Clarke was clear that she had zero chill after Lexa did what she thought Lexa did. She couldn’t even give her space to breathe.  But now, all those hurtful words, all the shitty things she said, Clarke felt terrible. She knew she had to talk to her and apologize for all her stupid behavior.

Finals were around the corner and she didn’t have the motivation to study either, not when she thought about reaching Lexa. Clarke played with her phone looking at her contact list. Reading the name _Commander_ over and over again.

_Would a phone call be okay? Maybe a text message._

Clarke growled in desperation and leaned over her book, she was frustrated. Lexa was still dating Luna and a message from her ex might not be appropriate either.

_What to do what to do?_

What Clarke did know was that she couldn’t study anymore. She packed her things and walked out of the library. Her friends were probably studying, it was better not to bother them right now.

Snow was filling the campus park, and the wind was chilly, Clarke zipped her coat and fixed her beanie over her blonde locks. She kept thinking about Lexa’s decision, it was actually all she could think about.

Lexa left her because in her head they were worlds apart, because Lexa couldn’t fit in this world where she was born and so she left her. Clarke wanted to scream at her, and ask how could she leave her? Betray her like that. But Clarke understood her reasons. She was a rich asshole and Lexa was working class. She was a selfish bitch, Lexa a selfless soul.

_“It is you who’s not worthy of my sister.”_

Clarke was starting to believe it.

 

The med student kept strolling around campus with no destination in mind, she just walked to where her legs took her. Her mind lost in thought for several minutes until she reached the parking lot. She had nothing else to do so she got in her car and stopped at a coffee shop to refill her thermos and buy cookies - Lexa’s favorites.

_Stupid masochist. Get your shit together, Griffin._

She really liked these cookies nonetheless; back in her car she ate them while thinking about her troublesome life as a rich girl and the gorgeous stripper who ruined her.

Life offered Clarke an opportunity, a chance to talk with the brunette who had taught her so many things. If this was destiny telling her to face the one girl who betrayed her for her own good, Clarke couldn’t say no.

 

Clarke was driving through an intersection and when the green light changed to red the blonde stopped the car. She took her thermos filled with coffee and drank while she waited for the green light and that’s when she spotted Lexa out of the corner of her eye walking down the street. She was probably going back home in this snow. Clarke’s heart melted by all the struggles Lexa had to go through on a daily basis, she probably was out of money to pay a bus so she walked instead. Clarke rolled the passenger side window down.

“Lexa! Get in!” Clarke called peeking through the window.

Lexa turned to face her, the puffs of breath condensing in the air. “No thank you.” Lexa kept walking.

The light changed back to green and some cars honked at Clarke, she maneuvered the car and approached to the sidewalk. “Come on Lexa, let me take you home.” Clarke insisted, “it’s cold out there aaaaand I have peanut butter cookies and coffee.”

Lexa chuckled, “you’re bribing me with my fave cookies and coffee?”

“Yeah. Is it working?” Clarke smiled trying to put Lexa at ease.

Lexa affirmed with a nod.

Clarke pulled the car to a stop and opened the door, Lexa hopped in and buckled up. Once the brunette was inside, Clarke drove back into the traffic.

 

Clarke drove for several minutes in silence, allowing Lexa to relax, the tension between the two could be cut with a knife, so many things unsaid, lots of hurt and pain inflicted on each other over the past six months.

How time flew. She met Lexa ten months ago in the least expected place, a strip club. They shared a class during the first semester and Clarke had been so clueless until Lexa stripped for her and she almost had a heart attack. They have come a long way, and still, there was so much to learn from each other, so much to forgive.

“The thermos has plenty of coffee, there is a cup in the glove compartment. Cookies in the brown package.” Clarke pointed while her eyes remained on the road ahead.

Lexa opened the compartment and took out a small cup; she removed the cap of the thermos and poured a bit of coffee.

“Thanks.” Was all the green-eyed beauty said. She took a cookie while she drank the warm beverage and moaned. Lexa closed her eyes savoring the cookie, peanut butter was her addiction and her face was simply priceless. Clarke couldn’t help but smile, that sultry voice making her skin prickle but she kept her eyes focused ahead, not wanting to disrupt the moment.

 

The traffic was a bit heavy on this part of the road, and the girls were stuck. Clarke turned on the radio to muffle the eerie silence and try to make this as comfortable as possible.

Clarke changed the stations and left it when she found something more entertaining. ‘We Are Not Alone Here’ by of Verona was playing and Clarke had to roll her eyes at the irony, she was not alone right now, Lexa was in the passenger’s seat, but at the same time she was indeed alone.

Clarke sighed, she had to tackle their situation now or never. “You never used the money. Why?” It was not an accusation or judgment, she really wanted to hear why Lexa rejected the chance to start again.

“It wasn’t mine. I didn’t earn it.” Lexa responded, no anger or resentment either. “It was yours. After all you fulfilled your part of the bargain. You left _me_.” Clarke held the wheel with both hands scared she would try to touch Lexa.

Lexa took a deep breath. “Money means nothing to me, Clarke. But you...” Lexa hesitated; she was trying to find the words to convey her reasoning behind her actions without being all sappy. “I’m not giving excuses for my decision, for me it was the best outcome for both of us.”

The traffic started to flow once more, Clarke kept concentrated in driving Lexa to her home, trying to not blow up with these feelings she had inside.

“I get it, Lexa. I see where your choice comes from, it makes sense, and yet, my heart tells me differently.”

“Your heart is your weakness, Clarke. You let feelings interfere with your decisions, and that will cost you.” Lexa insisted. Damn, Lexa was unbelievably stubborn. Her belief system was one of survival, of making the best of the worst situations, and Lexa learned about sacrifice at a very young age. It was a concept ingrained in her mind and taking something for herself was selfish in Lexa’s mind. Anya raised a noble woman.

“Listening to your feelings can’t be wrong, Lexa. I know you feel for your family so much love, it gives you the strength to keep fighting and moving on. So why is it wrong to listen to your heart and do what it says for once!” Clarke’s tone was a bit aggressive.

Lexa glanced at Clarke, her eyes warmed at her, Lexa could never look back at Clarke and not feel the pull Clarke had on her, not feel her soul synching with the blonde’s. “Because it makes me weak. I can’t afford that!”

“I’m sorry, shouldn’t have raised my voice.” Clarke sighed; things were getting out of control. “I am so sorry for everything I said. I know it’s not much, and I get that I’ve been a spoiled brat with no clue how hard life is for you, but I’ll try to learn and be less of an asshat.” She finally apologized, it wasn’t like she planned it in her head, but at least she finally said the word that both of them needed.

“I’m at fault too, Clarke. I hurt you. We don’t choose where we’re born but I’m glad you have all the resources and things you need.”

“But I don’t have _you_.” Clarke cried.

 

Both remained silent again. It was becoming so hard to speak with each other without being hurtful. There were so many things Clarke needed to say, to make her understand, to make her see that relying on your feelings wasn’t that bad, but she bit her tongue and didn’t press the matter anymore.  She asked another question instead.

“You think Wells is best for me?”

“Yes.” Lexa didn’t hesitate in her answer.

“Why?

Lexa had to swallow her pride, saying that someone else was best for Clarke was like stabbing herself in the heart. “He’s handsome, comes from a good family and he can take good care of you.”

“That’s crap. I can take care of myself and you know it. You’re hot as hell and you have a marvelous family even when your sister wants to snap my neck. Convince me otherwise, Lexa.”

Lexa had to contain the small smile forming in her lips, hearing those things made her believe again. “He has money and a good reputation.”

Clarke couldn’t refute those two aspects, Lexa has no money and her reputation is definitely not outstanding but Clarke gave a damn about those things, however Lexa cared.

“Okay you got me. But I don’t love him, he’s a good friend like Raven and O. In conclusion, he’s not the best for me. And Luna is a great nurse and person, she cares about her patients and yet, she’s not the best for you.”

Lexa didn’t say anything about that, Clarke could see Lexa’s walls building up again. She was shutting her out.

 

Clarke parked her car near the entrance of the small apartment. Both remained inside the car, not breaking the delicate balance at this moment.

Lexa licked her lips, before speaking again. “We ended things amicably. Me and Luna.” Lexa conceded after some time. She unbuckled the seatbelt, took one more cookie and got out of the car, she turned her eyes back to Clarke. “Thank you for the ride,” and shut the door faster than a bullet and went inside her home.

_They aren’t dating anymore._

_They are not dating._

_NOT. DATING._

Clarke smiled and raised her fist in the air. She knew it was kind of shitty celebrating that her ex was not seeing a potential love interest anymore, but she was happy because she was back in the game. However she also was frustrated with Lexa’s reluctance to be together.  She really wanted to make this stop, the beating of her heart when Lexa looked at her, the butterflies in her stomach when Lexa smiled, the way her throat dried when looking at Lexa’s skin, and her desperation to touch her again.

“I wish I could really hate you, it would make things so much easier.”

_____________

Clarke, Raven and Octavia were having dinner at the Griffin’s household to celebrate their vacations. Jackson prepared the dinner and the three girls sat to eat to their heart’s content.

Clarke was going to use the winter vacation to keep working at the clinic and also, she decided she was going to start helping her mother at the new facility in Annapolis. It was the only thing that probably was going to help her keep busy, now that Lexa was graduating. Clarke should be ecstatic since Lexa accomplished getting a degree in college. But she was sad simply because she wasn’t going to see her anymore.

“I’m serious, you two should come visit me in the big apple. What are you going to do stuck in the car shop during holidays, Raven?” Octavia drank her wine slowly, letting the beverage warm her.

“Maybe later, I have a business to manage as well, dummy.” Raven quirked her brow and ate her steak. “New Year might sound good though.”

“Great, what do you say Clarke, you coming with Raven for New Year’s?” Octavia stared at her friend waiting for an answer but Clarke was mentally absent.

Raven rolled her eyes and nudged the distracted blonde with her elbow. “Clarke, hello?”

“I eh, what?” Clarke asked lost in the topic of conversation.

“Hell. Clarke, I asked if you wanna come to my house for New Year’s.” Octavia propped her elbows on the table, her hands cupping her face.

“I don’t know, let me think about it.”

“Clarke why don’t you go to the club? Now that Indra is in charge they have changed a lot of things. They have awesome food and great dance shows in sexy clothes. Lincoln invited me to the re-opening and it was so much fun.”

“Yeah we definitely should go, ‘Grounders’ is the new name right?” Raven asked Octavia.

Octavia nodded. “Yes. What do you say Clarke?”

Clarke shook her head. “I really don’t want to cause more trouble so I rather stay here.”

“Okay fine, but if you’re going to be like this you should speak with her and be done with this.” Octavia finished her wine and left the glass on the table.

Raven nodded in agreement with Octavia. “Damn right girl, you can’t be in this perpetual state of a zombie. Or else we’re gonna have to intervene.”

“Hell no! You two stay away from Lexa and her family. I already have enough problems with Anya. Don’t make it worse.”

“Okay fine. You deal with this quickly cause we’re tired to see you looking and acting like shit.” Octavia advised.

“I want to O. If I could erase this feeling I would, but the heart wants what it wants.” Clarke finished her meal. “Now can we go and watch movies, please?”

 

Octavia was on the couch, Clarke was on the other spot with her legs over Octavia’s lap while Raven sat on the carpet below Octavia with her legs crossed. The three were watching a silly film trying to get some laughs and lighten the mood.

“For fuck’s sake Clarke! Leave the phone alone if you’re not going to text her.” Octavia threw some popcorn to Clarke who was barely paying attention to the movie.

“Shit, sorry.”

“Leave the princess alone, O. Don’t mind her, Clarke. Now if you really wanna get your chick back you gotta step up your game, Griffin.” Raven took a bite of a twizzler, smirking at Octavia.

“Oooooh now the expert in relationships, Miss Raven Reyes, will provide the latest tips on how to get your woman back.” Octavia threw popcorn at Raven who was smiling cheerfully.

“Yep, that’s me.” Raven winked at Clarke.

Clarke laughed, it was always a blessing to have her friends around when she needed them the most. “I’ll speak with Lexa tomorrow after her graduation ceremony, okay?”

___________

When the dean called Lexa Woods, her friends and the people from the now ‘Grounders’ bar made lots of noise. One of them did it, and that was so rewarding. Clarke was way back, wearing a hoodie to avoid calling anyone’s attention, she was clapping with excitement when Lexa walked up and picked up her diploma, what Lexa did was a good example of perseverance and iron will. Clarke was never going to figure out how hard this had been for Lexa. Clarke didn’t have to look at her bank account all the time to see if she got paid or if she was going to have money to pay the rent. She had at least seven zeroes waiting for her when she could access her trust, besides the million of dollars she already had. She could pay any place in this world to live and have food whenever she was hungry. Clarke couldn’t grasp the concept of necessity, but Lexa did.

Clarke had sworn that she was going to do everything in her power to help those in need.  That’s the reason Clarke started working on a charity project with Mr. Marcus Kane a couple of weeks ago. The Jake Griffin Foundation was going to offer those kids in need education, and shelter. Clarke had been working so hard on this project, and even though it was in the early stages, she really hoped that at least she could spare some children what Lexa went through.

 

When the ceremony was over Clarke approached Lexa quickly while she was walking away with her family and friends. She intercepted the group of friends in the parking lot. Lexa stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the blonde in front of her.

“Hey Lexa, um congrats.” Clarke smiled awkwardly; she shoved her hands inside her pockets, trying to keep them from shaking so much.

“Hi Clarke.”

“Can we talk, please?” Clarke asked, she looked at Lexa, then at Anya who wasn’t excited at all to see her.

“Come on Anya, let’s go ahead and prepare the party.” Costia smiled kindly and pulled Anya with her, leaving the new graduate with her ex to chat in private. Costia winked at Lexa and walked away with the rest of the ‘Grounders’ crew.

 

Clarke and Lexa moved to the campus backyard, away from prying eyes to talk without interruptions of any kind. Lexa was so damn gorgeous tonight that Clarke felt her cheeks blush at light speed.

“What is it Clarke?” Lexa sat on a bench, her eyes resting on the blonde’s blue.

Clarke was standing in front of Lexa, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and trying to come up with the right words to say.

“You’re pretty tonight.”

_Shit, smooth Griffin. Way to start a very important conversation._

But she could see Lexa’s lips curve a bit, which was good, signaling that she was not annoying her. “I mean, I’ve been thinking a lot about us.” Clarke took deep breaths, she felt like a high schooler again.

“Me too.” Lexa glared at Clarke and her eyes were bright under the stars, it was a work of art.

“That’s good I think, but let me talk first.”

Lexa nodded, and Clarke began her speech. “I have come to figure out a lot of stuff. I acted so selfishly, trying to keep you away from your work because it didn’t suit my needs. I was jealous and cranky, and I acted like a 5 year old with you.” Clarke confessed, trying to be as honest as she could, she was baring her heart and soul right there. “It wasn’t fair to you. I kept living in my bubble and I wanted you with me, but I never considered your reality, your necessities and much less how tough it must have been for you.” Clarke lowered her head, she was ashamed of her awful behavior and finally was acknowledging it which made her feel like a weight lifted from her shoulders. “I agree with Anya, it is me who doesn’t deserve a girl like you.”

Lexa stood up and walked to where Clarke was standing, looking at her intently. “Since I first laid eyes on you I knew it was stupid to dream about it. I accepted that I was never going to get even close to you, but I did. We became close and one thing led to another, and the stripper fell in love with the rich girl. I couldn’t admit those feelings because it was scary how much you meant to me.” Lexa without even realizing started to trace Clarke’s face so softly and tenderly, with hands that could become the hardest fists. It was something that made her feel fuzzy inside, knowing that Lexa was only this soft with her.

“I deduced that this relationship was never going to last, not when there was a huge gap splitting us apart. Call it your mother, society, it doesn’t matter Clarke. We weren’t ready. Still we aren’t.”

“Yeah, way to find out, huh?” Clarke tried to say something lighter to ease the tense mood.

Lexa nodded affirming what was pretty obvious.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I still love you.” Clarke admitted, her cheeks turned pink embarrassed. “But you’re right. Not yet.”

Lexa nodded once more.

 

That was going to be the challenge for both of them. To find a place where they could be themselves, and fulfill their dreams without overstepping the boundaries of the other. To share a life where they could find the proper balance instead of struggling for control over the relationship. The silence extended for a couple more minutes, when Lexa spoke.

“Your mother came to the club.”

Clarke’s shot her eyebrows up. “She did what? Please tell me she didn’t disrespect anyone.”

“She apologized. To me and Anya.”

Clarke sighed in relief. “Thank God.”

“We’re on good terms. The girls and I even danced for her since we needed some feedback for our new show.”

“Wait, what?” Clarke was shocked.

Lexa chuckled. “She said it was very upbeat and sensuous and it had a very contemporary feel versus other exotic dancers, and that she couldn’t blame you for falling for me.”

Clarke laughed imagining her mom watching the girls dancing for her, which had to be so funny and awkward. “Woooah hold it right there. Versus other exotic dancers? Is my mom saying that... holy shit, I really didn’t need to know that.”

Lexa laughed, it was cute seeing Clarke having second-hand embarrassment. Lexa was beaming,  and having Clarke here with her made her feel simply blissful. They could be friends, Lexa thought.

“Whatever, but mom is not wrong, you’re an amazing dancer Lexa. When you went to the nightclub I couldn’t stop watching you. You move like a pro.”

Lexa smiled warmly. “I’m sorry about that night too. I was being an idiot, I shouldn’t have drank at all and you had no obligation to take care of me.”

“It’s okay, I couldn’t leave you like that because I—” Clarke cleared her throat knowing that it wasn’t the time to say again how much she loved her, they needed time to heal and this wasn’t helping. “Because I care about you.” The blonde knew this was the best time to ask about waking up semi-naked, she couldn’t recall much after she passed out beside Lexa. “Um, do you remember what happened after I took you home? It’s kind of blurry for me and I only remember bits and pieces of that night.”

Lexa swallowed hard. Yes, she remembered every silly thing she did that night after she was set on winning Clarke at the nightclub. She couldn’t remember how she got into her bed or what happened with Luna, but every moment she spent with Clarke was still in her memory.

From the moment Clarke held her hair while she puked in the toilet to when Clarke kissed her goodnight at her home, and Lexa confessed she loved her in god knows what language. Even when Clarke asked her “ _weren’t you asleep?”_ and Lexa told her _“I miss you.”_ Lexa spooned Clarke and the blonde replied with _“I miss you too.”_ After Clarke had removed her clothes to sleep comfortably, Lexa kissed her shoulder blades. Lexa topped Clarke and a lot of kissing and touching happened after that, but that was pretty much it.

“Did we, you know, I don’t recall much but if we did it—“

“No, we just slept the drunkenness away.” Lexa explained not giving many details about the exchanged they had. It was better this way. Lexa already was on good terms with Clarke, it was better to keep all the craziness that occurred in their drunken state in her mind. If Clarke didn’t remember it was better not stir the pot with more feelings and confusion on her part. Start again was the plan, heal the wounds, and see what destiny brought to their plate.

“Oh.” The disappointment in Clarke’s voice was loud and clear. “I see.”

 

Clarke noticed that Costia came back to take Lexa back to her party. “Your bff is here. I guess you have to go to celebrate now. You totally deserve it Lexa. Congratulations.” Clarke bridged the gap between them and hugged Lexa. Giving her all her love and support in that one hug. Lexa hugged her back, her slender strong arms around Clarke’s waist pulling them much closer. Bathing in the warmth of one another, memorizing this feeling, the sensations this stirred in them, the familiar smells and shapes.

“May we meet again.” Lexa whispered.  She took a step back, and with one last glance at Clarke she joined her friend and walked away.

Clarke stood there staring until Lexa and Costia disappeared from view. Watching the woman she loved walk away once more from her life.

“May we meet again…”

______________

Clarke loved Lexa, and Lexa had loved her.

Lexa was so closed off and it was hard to tell if she still harbored feelings for Clarke. And even if she still loved the blonde, they were part of two different worlds. How could they make this work when people were so quick to judge? Lexa’s past didn’t define her, she became a better woman for it, and yet people still pointed at her because of her past, because of her work. Clarke was respected and even admired in the elite circles of DC, but if they heard about her infamous entanglement they would turn their back on her. And still, Clarke had zero idea what Lexa’s life was like before she met her. She knew nothing about her except those tiny cracks of darkness that Lexa showed of her old self. Clarke needed to find a way to close the gap between them, and get closer to Lexa, but how? Clarke couldn’t care less about her status in the social circles of DC, but that was not going to be enough.

Clarke loved Lexa, and Lexa didn’t love her anymore.

 

Clarke grumbled something and sat on her bed, knees drawn to her chest. She had been trying to sleep but her head wouldn’t stop thinking about Lexa, all damn night. Sleep had been hard and now some light crept through the curtains of her room. Clarke took her phone from her night table to check the time.

“6:43 am” Clarke sighed. This was what she just needed, lack of sleep because her thoughts refused to shut down. They weren’t ready. That was true. How could the two of them find each other again when everything conspired against them? Maybe it was best to forget this chapter of her life and move on, just like Lexa did. Clarke scrolled to her picture files in her phone to delete her old pics of Lexa. If this was really over, it was better to delete the brunette from her life once and for all.

“What the...?” Clarke found some pictures that she didn’t remember taking. It was Lexa with the most dumb face she could think of and Clarke besides her doing a worse dumb face. Clearly they were drunk.

_“I hod yu in, Klark.”_

 

Clarke snapped her eyes open. She was remembering stuff - laughter, kisses, desire, love.

_“I miss you.” Lexa was so drowsy and über drunk but her smile was everything. Lexa rolled on top of Clarke supporting her weight with her very strong arms on each side of Clarke’s head._

_“I miss you too.” Clarke entangled her fingers in the chestnut curls falling in her face._

_Lexa leaned down and kissed her, and Clarke opened her mouth to let Lexa in, but Lexa totally missed the mouth and she started laughing. “Stop moving so much Clarke.”_

_Clarke giggled, “I’m not!” This time Clarke pulled the nape of Lexa’s neck and kissed her plum lips. Lexa pulled apart and nibbled Clarke’s ear whispering “take this off, I want to feel you.”_

_Clarke smiled and removed her clothes, jumping back on the bed. They kept kissing for a while, bumping their noses and laughing at how hard was to kiss each other when both were so wasted. Lexa’s hand travel along the curve of Clarke’s generous hips making the blonde moan. Lexa smirked and kept kissing Clarke’s neck, while Clarke giggled because suddenly she was ticklish._

_“Okay we need to sleep you dumbass.” Clarke pushed Lexa to keep her at a distance._

_Lexa was smiling like she was in a total haze, it was seriously disconcerting when the brunette was most of the time serious. “Sleep like doing the do with you or sleep sleep?”_

_Clarke burst in laughter “Doing the do? Never thought I would hear you say it like that, but I mean sleep sleep.”_

_“Clarke I can find your vagina with my eyes closed. Look.” Lexa sat on her knees and closed her eyes and started to lean on Clarke, however her balance was pretty nonexistent at that moment and she actually fell off the bed._

_Clarke cackled as soon as the THUD announced the landing. “Great job, commander.”_

_Lexa gave Clarke a thumb up, and pulling herself up she climbed back on the bed. “Sleep it is.” Lexa spooned Clarke and kissed her behind her neck and back before getting comfy, and finally went to sleep._

 

“Shit!” Clarke jumped out of the bed. She remembered that Lexa had told her she loved her, Lexa loved her. This couldn’t be over. Clarke shoved on her jeans and a t-shirt, she put on some sneakers, took her car keys and ran downstairs. She couldn’t give up, not when Lexa felt just like her. She could fight the whole world if Lexa was with her. But this time as her equal, Clarke was going to make things right. She had to find a way to make this work.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Abby was having her breakfast when her daughter ran past the living room.

“I have to talk to her!” Clarke shouted, keeping her pace until she reached the parking lot and jumped in her car. She turned on the engine and drove as fast as possible.

 

By the time she reached Lexa’s apartment it was almost 8 am, she parked her car and run the stairs of the old apartment complex. When she reached Lexa’s floor, she headed to her door and knocked several times.

“Lexa! Please open up. I need to talk to you.” Clarke kept knocking, desperate.

“Anya! Lexa! Open up!”

But no one came. Clarke kept knocking like crazy, but still there was no response.

“For fuck’s sake shut the fuck up, will ya?” A teen girl peeked through her door. It was Anya’s neighbor.

“Hi, eh sorry about that kid. Do you know where Anya or Lexa are?”

The girl narrowed her eyes “Who the fuck wants to know?”

“Okay, you need to wash your mouth kid.”

“Look blondie, you’re too noisy it’s fucking Saturday morning so shut the fuck up and beat it.”

“It’s Clarke you little punk. Now, do you know where is Lexa or not?” Clarke got closer to the girl’s door, facing her with a stern face.

“It’s Tris you bitch, and she’s gone.” The teen was closing the door, but Clarke stopped Tris before she was gone.

“Gone where!?”

“The fuck I know? I’m not their nanny you psycho. Go away now Clarke. I need fucking sleep, and you’re annoying as fuck.” Tris shut the door leaving Clarke frozen in the hall, she was still processing what she just heard.

_No no no no no fucking no. Someone has to know._

Clarke turned on her heel and ran down the stairs; she was going to the club to find out.

Or not.

“I knew it was your car. Not everyday a BMW 335i convertible parks in this neighborhood.”

“Costia.” Clarke’s mouth fell to the floor. “Where are they? You must know.”

“I think we should go for a ride, Clarke.”

 

Clarke drove for a long time following Costia’s instructions. When Clarke reached the exit of the freeway she took it, and kept driving until Costia instructed her to stop. Clarke reached the neighborhood of Arlandria, Alexandria.

“Um this is a slum, why are we here Costia?”

“This slum is where Lexa grew up.” Costia pointed at the old grey housing in front of them, “Anya and Lexa lived there.”

Clarke’s heart clenched to see the conditions in which they lived; the place was sad and decrepit. Clarke suspected that if they got out of the car they were going to get robbed or killed. “Why did we come here?”

“Because I need you to see with your own eyes how Lexa grew up. You won’t understand her place in this world if you don’t see for yourself, Clarke. Lexa experienced your world so now it is your turn to experience hers. Let’s go.”

 

Clarke hit the gas and drove away until they reached the school where Lexa and Costia met.

“That’s the gym.“ Costia showed the building to Clarke while walking near the high school. “I found her sneaking around after a fight. We became friends then.” Costia looked at the horizon, as if reminiscing about the past stirred things in her. “Lexa had a rough life, Clarke. I know it must been hard for you to form an idea of Lexa’s life, so I thought it was better to show you. Maybe you might note where does Lexa comes from. You were born with a silver spoon Clarke, Lexa was orphaned and raised by another wonderful girl in these conditions. You couldn’t see the struggle that Lexa had to endure to fit into your privileged life.”

“You’re right, I can’t imagine how difficult it was for her. But I see now.”

“Yes, and still it’s just a sample, a tiny window to her past. You never saw her at her lowest Clarke. There were days when she would get back home drenched in blood, smelling of booze and sex. Or when she was so high that she had no idea where she was. Lexa was angry with the world, but she saw hope and she fought for it.” Costia kept walking enjoying the place where she used to hang out with Lexa, remembering the old days. “She saw hope and believed in herself, so she pushed herself to become better, and I never thought she could get any gayer but then, she met you.” Costia giggled.

 

Clarke smiled, she remembered the first time she bumped Lexa in college. How angry she was. “Now it all makes sense. Thanks for opening my eyes.”

“You love the woman that she has become but can you love the girl she was? Lexa has suffered enough Clarke and you know that she doesn’t open up easily. She barely lets me in and I’m her best friend. You made her believe that she could be happy for once after all she went through. Stripping is just another layer of things she had to do to survive, she did what she had to, still keeping her integrity as much as she could. I can’t let you have her if you won’t treat her with respect.”

“I get it. I swear I do. I love her Costia. The girl and the woman, her past and her present. I wasn’t fair with her, and I’m ashamed.” Clarke lowered her head, she couldn’t see this place and not feel bad about her ignorance. “I learned a lot from her. I had such a narrow view of the world, but now I understand her situation better and that’s why I really wanna help. I’m establishing a charity and I’m going to need someone who knows best how to use my resources and put them to good use. Someone like _you_ , Costia.”

Costia tilted her head, looking at Clarke with some bewilderment. “Me?”

“Yup. I think you’re perfect for that position, if you want it of course.” Clarke smiled sincerely.

“You do know I love Lexa, right? Why would you want me to work with you?” Costia still doubted Clarke’s offer.

“Yeah, I know and Lexa loves you back. I get the picture of how important you are to her.”

Costia sighed. “Yes, Lexa loves me as a friend. She didn’t want to risk our friendship back then and now you own her heart and soul. I accepted a while ago that nothing was going to happen beyond friendship, still hurts though.”

“Lexa doesn’t do it on purpose Costia. And I would love to be friends with you too. I mean, you brought _me_ here to see Lexa’s past for myself. Because you want her to be happy and I swear I want her to be happy too.”

“True.” Costia faced Clarke, looking deeply into her eyes. “Prove to me that I’m not making a mistake here. I’m trusting you with my best friend’s heart.”

“I will make things right Costia, you have my word.”

Costia chuckled. “Alright then, I’ll hold you to your word.” Costia extended her hand and Clarke shook it in agreement.

“Oh boy, Anya would love to kick my ass so I guess you should take a number.” Clarke joked, she was feeling more at ease. She saw the world where Lexa grew up, and she was certain that they could find a middle ground where they could love each other as equals.

“So are you going to tell me where she is?” Clarke asked.

“I can’t, she doesn’t want you to know. Lexa needs to find her answers too, Clarke. Give it time.”

Clarke sighed. “Time? I miss her already.”

“And she misses you too, deeply. Trust me, Lexa only has eyes for you. Let her find her path and I promise you’ll find your way to her soon enough.”

“Okay then, I can be patient. Let’s go back to DC. I wanna talk to you about the Jake Griffin Foundation.”

____________

Christmas came in the blink of an eye, Clarke and friends enjoyed the holidays together until they departed to their respective hometowns. Clarke had heard nothing of Lexa and Costia was not saying anything regarding her friend, her lips shut. She only discussed with Clarke her ideas regarding the Jake Griffin Foundation, which were pretty great, and Clarke couldn’t be happier to have Costia on this project with her.

Clarke was finished meeting with Marcus Kane and Costia, it seemed that the Foundation was going to start running in the upcoming months if everything went according to plan. Her mother also was helping with the funding until she receives her trust money, which was going to be the main source of income to keep it running while they got more backers. Clarke was glad that at least this was working.

 

“Hey, that was a pretty good presentation Clarke. Mr. Kane was simply in awe of your proposal. You’re going to get more supporters soon enough, you’ll see.” Costia packed her bag ready to leave the meeting room.

Clarke smiled hopeful. “Yes, but his support for now is going to get us started which is what we need right now.”

Costia nodded. “This will be big, I can feel it Clarke.”

“I hope so too.” Clarke finished putting all her documents in a folder before going back home to her mother to celebrate with a Christmas dinner. And try to fix things. There were so many things they needed to discuss and it was hard to be away from her mother too. Tonight they were going to try to make amends for their mistakes.

Costia moved out of the conference room leaving Clarke alone to finish packing all the stuff she brought. Clarke was almost done when she noticed a gift left where Costia was seated a moment ago. “Hey Costia you left… something.” Costia was nowhere to be seen. Clarke approached the forgotten box to return it  later when she read the name on the envelope on top.

Clarke Griffin.

She would recognize the handwriting anywhere in the world; it was her.

“Lexa.”

Clarke was dumbfounded; Costia had this and obviously left it on purpose for her to find. Clarke took the envelope and opened it, it was a letter, so the blonde took a seat and got comfortable.

Clarke,

I’m deeply sorry for leaving without a word after my graduation. I wasn’t capable of looking into your eyes and saying goodbye again. One time was enough for me. I get that you might be mad and with reason, but I needed to leave DC to find my place in the world, to prove to myself I‘m worth something. You inspire me because you care for people without reserve, and that is what makes you so special to me, Clarke. I learned that maybe love is not weakness, so I’ll try to rely on my heart more often. For now I need to keep growing, learning and be the woman I want to be, so I can earn the honor to stay at your side, if you still want me, of course. I bought a little something. I know it’s not much but to me it represents a promise to you. You don’t have to keep it though, I understand if you rather move on than wait for me. I know this is selfish on my part to tie you to someone who is far away and won’t be back for a while. However, if you keep it, know that I’m yours as you are mine, always. I’ll try to write when I can if you still want me to, just let Costia know. Yes, I’m a coward, I can’t dare listen to your voice or I won’t be able to do this. Whatever your decision is, I’ll respect it.

I bare my soul to you, my heart is in your hands. Ai hod you in, Clarke.

Merry Christmas,

Lexa

 

The ink of the letter started to blur from the tears falling on the white sheet of paper, Clarke was crying, sobbing uncontrollably.

“You’re an idiot! You remember!” Clarke said between sobs. Now she knew that Lexa knows what happened that infamous night when both were drunk as fuck. She put the letter back in the envelope and tore the giftwrap of the small box resting on the table. When she finally removed the paper she opened the black box to find the most beautiful Christmas gift ever.

“Oh my…”

____________

Days passed like a breeze, two lonely hearts beat with the same rhythm far away from each other, two souls split apart waiting, waiting, waiting. Two women occupy their thoughts with studies and work, busying their minds with things that didn’t hurt so much. Time was harsh with them, the absence of their other half painful yet hopeful. They weren’t ready. Not yet.

♪There’s something in the look you give♫

♪I can’t help myself I fall, I can’t help myself at all ♫

♪There’s something in your touch when we kiss ♫

♪I scream God forgive me please cause I want you on your knees ♫

♪But I don’t wanna think about it now ♫

♪I know I won’t get out if I fall in♫

♪So I don’t wanna think about it now ♫

♪It’s dark in my imagination, it’s dark in my imagination♫

 

Clarke peeled her eyes open after her alarm was blasting her ringtone.

“Shit.” The blonde sat in her bed and turned off her alarm. She rolled off the bed, and walked to the bathroom, and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

“Happy 23rd Birthday, Clarke.” The blonde said to the image looking back at her and hit the shower. She had a long day ahead of her.

Clarke put on jeans and a blue long sleeve shirt to go to the office of the Foundation in the Ark Medical Center in Annapolis. She had to discuss with the board the development of the art and dance school in Alexandria, VA, and then she had to go back to DC to continue her university classes. Med school was draining her along with the work at the Foundation but the results so far were amazing. The help that they were providing to the poorest communities was spreading little by little to more places.

Her phone bleeped and she picked it up on her way to the hotel parking lot.

“Hey asshole, yeah thanks.” Clarke opened the door of her car, sat comfortably and turned on the engine. “Yeah I have no plans. Wait, you two are here? Jesus O, you could have waited until I got back home to celebrate.” She changed the gear shift to D. “I hear you Raven, fiiiiiiiiine, tonight. I’ll be at the hospital so you two can drop by around 9 pm. Yeah, me too.” She put the phone away and drove to her office.

 

“Happy Birthday!” The staff said in unison and clapped to welcome their amazing boss.

“Thanks guys, keep up the great work.” Clarke smiled and walked to her office to meet none other than one of the most important members of the board of directors of the Foundation.

“Happy Birthday Clarke.”

“Thanks Costia.”

The two women shared a hug and a warm smile.

“I have a gift for you, hope you like it.” Costia offered a small envelope. Clarke took it gracefully and opened it.

“Woah, reservation for ‘Polis’? Are you kidding? That place is always packed.  How did you do it?” Clarke was impressed.

“The Foundation has opened some doors for me. I heard that your wonderful squad is coming to celebrate so I made some calls.” Costia explained, eyes on Clarke, observing the tint of sadness in the blonde. “Hey cheer up Clarke, today is a day to be happy.”

Clarke sighed and offered a faint smile. “I know. It’s just that…” Clarke took a peek at the piece of jewelry in her possession resting between her breasts, “Should I still be wearing this? It’s been one year and three months Costia! I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“Is your love fading away, Clarke? I thought you would be stronger than that.” Costia smirked, her eyes daring Clarke.

“No, never said that. But that moron of your best friend hasn’t called or even texted me, she just writes those damn letters and it’s frustrating!” Clarke hit the table, she missed Lexa so much and she had committed to wait for her. Each of the letters that she received in the past months were brief but oh so romantic. Lexa was on the surface such a badass, but inside she was a complete softy as proven by her letters that were safely stored in Clarke’s bedroom back in DC. Her sexless life had been tough as well, pleasing herself wasn’t as good as being with the dancer who was doing god knows what in New York last she heard from her.

Costia laughed. “She misses you too. She doesn’t say it out loud but I know. Enjoy tonight with your friends, Clarke. Your broody commander will come back soon.”

“Ha! Very funny Costia. You’re enjoying this a lot, aren’t you.” Clarke sat on her desk and booted her laptop, she better go back to work or else she was going to become annoying and today was her birthday, she deserved to be blissful.

“Just a tiny bit. You two are so lovely it makes me sick though.” Costia smiled, and returned to her office to keep working on the Foundation’s newest project.

“Asshole!” Clarke smiled and got back to work.

 

When the clock hit 8 pm, Clarke’s concentration was stopped by the noise of two familiar but very welcomed voices.

“Motherfucker! Look at this office!” Raven was the first who entered the office.

Clarke stood up from her desk and went to meet her two best friends.

“Here we are birthday girl, ready to conquer all the nightclubs in Annapolis?” Octavia hugged Clarke.

“Yeah, just gimme a sec to shutdown my laptop, then we can go to my hotel so I can dress appropriately.”

“Perfect. We’re ready to roll then.” Raven smiled, her friend shoved her hands in her jeans pocket looking around. “So where is your frenemy?”

“You mean Costia? She’s doing a wonderful job, Raven, don’t be an ass.” Clarke scolded her friend while packing all her paperwork and devices.

“I’m tellin you O, Clarke is clever, she’s just keeping her friends close and her enemies closer, right?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows, Octavia just rolled her eyes.

“Raven, Costia is really nice. I’m serious; she has been amazing with the charity and she is great with back pain.”

“Oooooh so those hands had reached other places huh?” Octavia was grinning, teasing her friend.

Clarke chuckled. “Not like that, I think I told you she works as a physiotherapist at the hospital with my mom. And yes she has great hands.”

“In that case I’m gonna have to test if that is true or not.” Raven leaned on the door, arms crossed casually. “My leg has been bothering me a lot, you know?”

Raven suffered an accident while in California during the previous summer break, and her leg suffered the most damage. Her nerves had been affected and now she had to wear a brace in order to walk. Clarke had the scare of her life when Raven called and told them what happened. They have been as supportive as possible without making her feel bad or feeling pity. It had been a slow process but Raven was more at ease now with her situation.

“Yes, that’s a great idea. Costia is really good Raven, I’ll give you her number so you can make an appointment with her.” Clarke was already packed and ready to go.

“Perfect, now let’s go so we can start your birthday bash.” Octavia lead the way and the trio returned to Clarke’s hotel to get ready.

 

After some time the three girls were finally ready to go, the trio as usual ready to share some shenanigans as they always did. It was a clear night, the stars were out and shining, the space beyond beautiful and peaceful.

“Alright, where to bitches?” Octavia asked her two companions.

“Costia got us a reservation for ‘Polis’.” Clarke showed them the confirmation.

“Oh boy, this Costia girl is really something, huh?” Raven took a peek at the reservation info and nodded in approval.

“That restaurant is pretty famous and they say they have this amazing show. I was wondering if we were going to be able to eat there.” Octavia scratched her head, pretty surprised by how lucky they were.

“I told you she’s good, Raven.” Clarke took the ticket and put it inside her handbag again. “So we should be there fast or else we will be late.”

Octavia drove them to the restaurant, they left the car with the valet, and headed to the entrance.

 

The place had a modern style mixed with tribal art, it was like a fusion of old and new cultures. The lights offered a warm ambiance and the music was spot on. The tables were packed, and at the center a dance floor that offered amazing shows and dances. Clarke had been so busy that she never took a chance to come here, but now that she had the experience of visiting the restaurant she might come back.

The host smiled to the trio, welcoming them to ‘Polis’ and led them to their table near the stage where they could witness the amazing dances.

After eating and enjoying the dinner, the girls were discussing what they were going to do once they got back to DC.

“I say we stop at ‘Grounders’ and then watch a movie or something.” Octavia suggested, she was drinking a glass of red wine that was already half empty.

“Hmmm, I wonder why would we go to ‘Grounders’ eh?” Raven nudged Octavia.

 

The lights dimmed and several dancers appeared on the dance floor, all of them wearing suits and ties, each dancer with a tie of different color and a mask covering their faces. Their hairstyles were all buns, probably to keep the hair away from their faces.

The beat started, and two dancers began moving to the rhythm of ‘Te aviso, Te anuncio’ by Shakira dancing a very sensual tango at first, bodies moving slowly, determined and the two dancers split when pop started to blast from the speakers. Their styles fluid and their motions strong, fierce and for some reason the dancer with the red tie seemed familiar to Clarke. She was drinking her wine while paying attention to the dance, attracted to the movements, the sway of hips and the sensuality of the dance. Up and down, shaking shoulders, legs moving left and right.

“Woot that is hot!” Raven was moving to the music in her place.

“Yeah that thing they did with those chairs, pretty hot.” Octavia tapping her foot on the floor.

Clarke was eyeing the dancers, particularly the one with the red tie, there was something about those hips. The dancers finished their dance routine and the crowd gave a huge round of applause. The five dancers bowed to the audience.

 

“Miss Clarke Griffin, could you please walk to the dance floor? Our wonderful staff has a special birthday present for you” The host announced.

“Wait what?” Clarke suddenly got nervous and was pretty shocked by this.

“Ooooh hell yeah.” Octavia stood up and pulled her friend to the center of the stage. There was a chair in the middle and so Clarke sat down. “Have fun!” Octavia winked before running back to her table.

“Wait!” Clarke was blushing and so nervous.

All dancers were gone except the one with the red tie, who was walking towards Clarke slowly, pulling the tie and making it looser around her neck. Music started to play, the dancer started to sway her hips to the beat of ‘Lean On’ by Major Lazer feat. Mo, and then she removed her mask, and at the same time shaking her head to let loose brown curls. Green eyes on Clarke.

Clarke’s jaw dropped. “Lexa…”

The dancer smirked while moving now so close to Clarke that she was going to combust. She was swaying her hips in circles in front of Clarke, and she went down to the floor and back up so damn slow. Lexa removed her coat and threw it away, she turned her back to Clarke still swaying her hips while she unbuttoned her vest.  She was still dancing so damn close to Clarke, however, to give space to the blonde who was blushing so hard the brunette started to walk around the chair while removing next the white shirt she was wearing, leaving the dancer in a black top that showed her arm tattoo and toned arms. Now that she was more comfortable, Lexa surrounded Clarke, moving her shoulders left and right, doing zig zags with her torso. She rolled and dropped to her knees approaching Clarke on all fours.

“Holy mother of—“ Clarke mumbled.

“Hell yeah Clarke get it guuurl!” Raven shouted from her table.

Lexa made a space between Clarke’s legs standing between her thighs, the friction between her hips was killing the blonde and then Lexa was on her lap, moving like a snake about to attack a prey.

Clarke grazed Lexa’s tights with her fingertips, but Lexa removed her hand tenderly. “No touching. Not yet.” The brunette whispered close to the shell of her ear.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Clarke protested.

Lexa dropped from Clarke’s lap and winked before turning around and then the other four dancers joined Lexa. Clarke could recognize Echo and Caris too in the group dancing with Lexa in unison in front of Clarke. The five girls moved with the beat, flowing with the bass of the song, their footwork was amazing, and then Lexa split again to move towards Clarke, doing a solo, her arms and legs moved with so much flow. Then she was seducing Clarke with her moves right in her face, sliding her hands over the black top until she reached her thighs. Eyes never leaving the blue of the birthday girl, and Lexa smiled sending butterflies to Clarke. Lexa rolled on the floor and then with a somersault was again in front of Clarke. Moving that booty in front of Clarke and grazing her on purpose. Clarke wanted to strangle the dancer but she was going to be patient. Watching Lexa dance for her was the best gift ever.

The music was over and the applause erupted, Lexa offered her hand to Clarke, the blonde took it, helping her up from the chair, then she dropped a kiss on Clarke’s cheek. “Happy Birthday, Clarke.”

“I hate you.” Clarke stated.

Lexa looked at Clarke’s neck, noticing the necklace she sent her, “no you don’t.” Lexa kissed the palm of Clarke’s hand and let it go. “See you in a bit.”

 

Clarke was blushing, how was it possible that Lexa was hotter than before? She sat back again at her table, and was met with a piece of cake and her two friends smiling like idiots.

“Did you know she was here?” Clarke sat and took a bite of her birthday cake.

“Nope, but it seems your frenemy did.” Raven was grinning.

“You looked like you almost choked in that chair.” Octavia laughed at her friend who was mortified and embarrassed. Clarke distracted herself with her birthday cake. She was enjoying the softness of the dessert until she saw the woman who was in her dreams every single night since she met her.

“Hey Clarke.”

“Well well well, I think we’re gonna pay the check.” Raven stood up from the table.

“There’s no need Raven. I already took care of that.”

“Oh okay, we don’t wanna be the third wheel so we’re leaving you two.” Octavia winked at Clarke.

“Yup, we’ll call you later. Have fun.” Raven waved goodbye and left the two girls alone.

 

“Lexa, there was no need to pay the check.” Clarke’s heart was beating fast, the physiological reactions of her body were amazing.

“It’s the least I could do. I’m sorry for being away for so long, Clarke. I had to do a lot of stuff to get things in order.” Lexa sat beside Clarke.

“And did you fix everything or are you just going to leave me again?” Clarke couldn’t throw herself at Lexa, not when her heart was on the line.

“No, not ever. Anya is managing things in New York, Indra in DC so I can now be full time here. I’m not going anywhere anymore Clarke.”

“Woah wait, slow down, what are you talking about?” Clarke tilted her head not getting what Anya and Indra had to do with this.

“I made a deal with Mr. Wallace and well, to make the story short I own this place. And I’m a shareholder of the other places too. I go to DC or NY when I’m needed now, I have established myself here.”

“That’s amazing! But wait, Costia knew you were here? Since when?” Clarke was really proud of Lexa, how far she had come after working so hard.

Lexa smiled. “Don’t be mad at her, I told her not to tell you until I was ready.”

“And now you are?” Clarke cocked her eyebrow looking at the brunette.

Lexa nodded solemnly. “Yes.  I’m still me though, with a better apartment that is. I’ll never be rich or classy like you Clarke. And I understand that I asked too much of you and maybe—“

Clarke wasn’t going to let Lexa rethink their relationship, she wasn’t going to let her second-guess their love and so she kissed her. Tender, lovingly, but soon it was too hot and they had too many clothes on.

“Take me to your place. Now!”

 

The two women fumbled through the hall until Lexa reached her door, she opened the door and once the door was closed she had Clarke pinned against the wall, devouring her, desperate to leave her marks on the blonde.

“I missed you so much.” Clarke sighed. Lexa nibbled her ear, moving to her neck dropping a thousand kisses.

“I missed you too.” Lexa lifted Clarke. The blonde entangled her legs around Lexa’s waist while she took them to her bed.

Once Lexa bumped the edge of the bed, Clarke was on top removing her shirt and pants while Lexa simply drank her features. Clarke kissed Lexa back and the two rolled on the bed, kissing and touching and feeling each other, falling into each other with  familiarity and easiness. Lexa removed her clothes and surrounded Clarke with her arms, caging her and then she feasted on her.

It was good to know that Lexa lived here alone, or else with her screams Clarke was sure that Anya was finally going to slit her throat.

 

Lexa held Clarke in her arms after the intense love making session they had, both glistening in sweat and controlling their breaths. Lexa played with Clarke’s hand absentmindedly.

“You have a necklace too!” Clarke saw the silver jewel resting on Lexa’s neck, it was a match to the gold one Lexa gave her.

“I told you, Clarke. I am yours. I never took it off so everyone knew to whom I belonged.”

“Damn right you’re mine, Lexa Woods.” Clarke smiled leaving kisses along the jaw of her gorgeous girl.

“You have to go back to DC tomorrow, right?” Lexa kept touching Clarke, sending shivers to her whole body. Clarke felt on fire.

“Yeah.”

“My life is here now Clarke. You still have to finish your career and I want nothing more than to see you become Dr. Griffin. But I promise I’ll travel to DC anytime you need me there.” Lexa kissed Clarke softly.

“I guess I’m going to end up working here in the Ark Medical Center in a few years huh?  My mom is going to owe you big time.” Clarke chuckled.

Lexa smiled in that reserved way of hers, tracing Clarke’s hips with her hands. “Abby already knows, Clarke. I invited her to dinner last week. I spoke with her and I made clear my intentions with you.”

“What? Mom knew you were here?” Clarke pouted, but Lexa chuckled and kissed Clarke.

“Yes, I asked her not to ruin the surprise, and also she helped me to choose this.” Lexa rolled to the other side of the bed, and took out a small box from the night stand. “Clarke Griffin, once again I bare my soul to you.” Lexa kneeled on the bed opening the box. “Would you be my home? My friend? My love? My wife?”

Clarke teared up, pulled Lexa to her and kissed her, pouring all her love to this idiotic moron who was the cutest woman in the whole world. “Yes, Commander. I would love that.”

Lexa was beaming; she slid the gorgeous ring onto the blonde’s hand. “Thank you, for loving me Clarke.”

Clarke kissed Lexa over and over. “How can I not love you, Lexa? I have loved you since that first lap dance. You won me with your honesty and loyalty. I am the one who is still in awe that someone like you chose me.”

Lexa smiled. “I know that we had a rough start Clarke, that we hurt each other and we did regrettable things. I know I’m not the easiest person but I can assure you that I will fight for us, I’m not leaving you behind again.”

“I know. Now can my future wife make up for the lost time please?”

“Right away.” Lexa kissed Clarke, then she split for a second, “should I turn the lights off?”

“Nah, leave the lights on.”

 

 

\- THE END -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ROLL CREDITS -  
> Story & writing - Tanagariel  
> Edition - cos-geek-monkey@tumblr.com  
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. All the song lyrics belong to their respective authors. Only the plot was developed by me.  
> \- END OF CREDITS -
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you so much for taking the time and reading this fic. It was a complete honor to  
> share this with you guys. I had so much fun writing this story so I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did. A huge thanks to my wonderful beta, D girl. Thanks to you this didn't suck much.  
> Thanks again for your comments, your feedback and interest is always appreciated and keeps me motivated. If you have prompts send then to my tumblr askbox. Until the next fic then.
> 
> Tana aka Carmen
> 
> commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com
> 
> PS. There is a one-shot of Chapter 10 from Lexa's POV in my fic page as well as other one-shots check them out :D http://commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com/the100fic

**Author's Note:**

> Updates: Every wednesday.


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